Emiliano Zapata
I’d rather die on my feet, than live upon my knees.
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I spent an afternoon helping my boyfriend move into a new home. In one carton I found a crockpot, with an odd-looking and very dirty metal lid. Later I ushered my boyfriend into the kitchen and asked why he hadn’t mentioned this perfectly good pot.
He stared at it, then replied, “Well, after I broke the lid I never thought of replacing it with a hubcap.”
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About two o’clock one summer morning, my friend and her husband, who likes to sleep in his birthday suit, were awakened by a thunderstorm. They both dashed from the bed and began shutting windows. When her husband got downstairs, he realized the umbrella on the patio table had been left open and gusts of wind were causing the table to teeter precariously near the glass doors. He figured it would take only a moment to run out and take the umbrella down, so he did not waste time fetching a robe.
Once on the patio, however, he found the wind was stronger than he expected. Before he could close the umbrella, the wind lifted the shaft from the table and pulled it and him out into the yard. As he grappled with the umbrella, several flashes of lightning lit up the yard like a Broadway stage. Finally, he accomplished his mission and went back into the house, much to the relief of his wife, who had witnessed the entire episode.
They had no sooner settled in bed than the phone rang. It was their neighbor, who said, “We just wanted to let Mary Poppins know how much we enjoyed the show.”
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Although I knew I had put on a few pounds, I didn’t consider myself overweight until the day I decided to clean my refrigerator. I sat on a chair in front of the appliance and reached in to wipe the back wall.
While I was in this position, my teenage son came into the kitchen. “Hi, Mom,” he said. “Whatcha doin’, having lunch?”
I started my diet that day.
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My wife and her friend Karen were talking about their labor-saving devices as they pulled into our driveway. Karen said, “I love my new garage-door opener.”
“I love mine too,” my wife replied, and honked the horn three times. That was the signal for me to come out and open the garage.
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My sister decided to go on a diet, and that first evening she phoned me. I could tell her mouth was full, so I asked her what she was eating.
“A cupcake,” she mumbled. “I just got on the scale, and it read 149 1/2 pounds. I decided that was no place to start a diet, so I’m rounding it off to 150.”
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A client of our optometry business was jubilant after I replaced the scratched, dirty lenses in his eyeglasses with new ones.
“This is great!” he said. “I just gained two hours of daylight.”
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My father’s secretary was visibly distraught one morning when she arrived at the office and explained that her children’s parrot had escaped from his cage and flown out an open window. Of all the dangers the tame bird would face outdoors alone, she seemed most concerned about what would happen if the bird started talking.
Confused, my father asked what the parrot could say.
“Well,” she explained, “he mostly says, ‘Here, kitty, kitty.’ ”
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My flight was delayed in Houston. Since the gate was needed for another flight, our aircraft was backed away from the terminal, and we were directed to a new gate. We all found the new gate, only to discover a third gate had been designated for our plane.
Finally, everyone got on board the right plane, and the flight attendant announced: “We apologize for the gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., you should deplane at this time.”
A moment later a red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags. “Sorry,” he said, “wrong plane.”
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Good morning everyboomie.
We've had a great day down here. I woke up early to thunderboomers, and that continued for mose of the morning.
I took the pups, Missy and Beau, to the park early afternoon. It was pretty nice then, but it heated up good this afternoon close to 90, then more clouds and another cool down.
Now we have more thunderboomers developing out there.
Like yesterday, I didn't do a whole lot today, I watched reruns of Cowboy games all day. (still doing that). I spent a lot of time trying to get more games to play on this infernal Windows 10.
I got Riven, and Myst 3 to play, and so I've been playing Myst all afternoon.
I think I'm off to play some more.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Do you have another computer for the games that don't run, or do you just have the Windows 10 computer?
Fingers crossed!