Bob Dylan
What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.
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Stupid Questions
As far as stupid questions go, these are the stupidest...
1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?
2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?
3. Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
"hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?
5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?
6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a use by date?
9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?
10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
11. What do people in China call their good plates?
12. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs.
14. What do you call male ballerinas?
15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?
16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme [blip] why doesn't he buy his dinner?
17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?
18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?
20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?
21. Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
22. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
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Supermodel Wisdom
ON COURAGE
"They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind."
-- Cindy Crawford
ON SELF-KNOWLEDGE
"Everywhere I went, my cleavage followed. But I learned I am not my cleavage."
-- Carole Mallory
ON POVERTY
"Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery."
-- Beverly Johnson
ON FATE
"I wish my butt did not go sideways, but I guess I have to face that."
-- Christie Brinkley
ON PSYCHOLOGY
"I loved making 'Rising Sun'. I got into the psychology of why she liked to get strangled and tied up in plastic bags. It has to do with low self-worth."
-- Tatjana Patitz
ON ARRIVING
"Because modeling is lucrative, I'm able to save up and be more particular about the acting roles I take."
-- Kathy Ireland, star of 'Alien From L.A.' and 'Danger Island'
ON CAREER CHOICES
"My boyfriend thinks I lost my true calling to be a librarian."
-- Paulina Porizkova
ON PRIORITIES
"I would rather exercise than read a newspaper." -- Kim Alexis
ON GEOPOLITICS
"Mick Jagger and I just really liked each other a lot. We talked all night. We had the same views on nuclear disarmament."
-- Jerry Hall
ON INNER STRENGTH
"I love the confidence that makeup gives me."
-- Tyra Banks
ON DEATH
"Richard doesn't really like me to kill bugs, but sometimes I can't help it."
-- Cindy Crawford
ON TRAVEL
"I haven't seen the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, the Louvre. I haven't seen anything. I don't really care."
-- Tyra Banks
ON BREAKTHROUGHS
"Once I got past my anger toward my mother, I began to excel in volleyball and modeling."
-- Gabrielle Reece
ON EPIPHANY
"I just found out that I'm one inch taller than I thought."
-- Christie Brinkley
ON HEREDITY
"My husband was just OK looking. I was in labor and I said to him, 'What if she's ugly? You're ugly.'"
-- Beverly Johnson
ON THE BASICS
"It's very important to have the right clothing to exercise in. If you throw on an old T-shirt or sweats, it's not inspiring for your workout."
-- Cheryl Tiegs
ON INTRODUCTIONS
"I think most people are curious about what it would be like to be able to meet yourself -- it's eerie."
-- Christy Turlington
ON COURTSHIP
"The soundtrack to 'Indecent Exposure' is a romantic mix of music that I know most women love to hear, so I never keep it far from me when women are nearby."
-- Fabio
ON PARADOX
"Sometimes I get lonely, but it's nice to be alone."
-- Tatjana Patitz
ON THE CONSERVATION OF MATTER
"I've looked in the mirror every day for 20 years. It's the same face."
-- Claudia Schiffer
ON TRAGEDY
"The worst was when my skirt fell down to my ankles -- but I had on thick tights underneath."
-- Naomi Campbell
ON INSTINCT
"If I'm making a movie and get hungry, I call time-out and eat some crackers."
-- Carol Alt
ON THE CASTE SYSTEM
"We're not Prince Charles and Princess Di. We don't think of ourselves as royalty. We happen to be working people."
-- Christie Brinkley
ON OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS
"I tried on 250 bathing suits in one afternoon and ended up having little scabs up and down my thighs, probably from some of those with sequins all over them."
-- Cindy Crawford
ON ECONOMICS
"I don't wake up for less than $10,000 a day."
-- Linda Evangelista
ON ZEN
"When I model I pretty blank. You can't think too much or it doesn't work.
-- Paulina Porizkova
ON LOGIC
"I think, If my butt's not too big for them to be photographing it, then it shouldn't be too big for me."
-- Christy Turlington
ON BODY PARTS
"I don't know what to do with my arms. It just makes me feel weird and I feel like people are looking at me and that makes me nervous."
-- Tyra Banks
ON BODY LANGUAGE
"You can usually tell when I'm happy by the fact that I've gained weight."
-- Christy Turlington
ON DEPRIVATION
"If they had Nautilus on the Concorde, I would work out all the time."
-- Linda Evangelista
ON MOTIVATION
"It was kind of boring for me to have to eat. I would know that I had to, and I would."
-- Kate Moss
ON VERSATILITY
"I can do anything you want me to do so long as I don't have to speak."
-- Linda Evangelista
ON THE GRIEF PROCESS
"When my Azzedine jacket from 1987 died, I wrapped it up in a box, attached a note saying where it came from and took it to the Salvation Army. It was a big loss."
-- Veronica Webb
ON VENGEANCE
"Girls are always getting mad at each other and they tell their hairdresser to purposely mess up another girl's hair."
-- Tasha
ON BATTING .667
"I'm a pretty girl who's a model who doesn't suck as an actress."
-- Cameron Diaz
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Good morning everyboomie.
Sorry I'm late getting here. I got caught up listening to music videos.
I figured what the heck it's Sunday night, I can stay up late....er.
Ok let's see what's going on for today. This is the 3rd Monday in August. Hey hey hey break out the soap, it's shower day.
I am so glad. My arms are starting to stick to my sides.
I have to go to Walmart first thing. It's been so long that today I had to go to Sonic for lunch because I didn't have anything to eat. Well I could have had eggs and bacon, but I had that for breakfast, and though I MIGHT be having it for supper as well, but I made something else for supper.
Not sure what it was, but it tasted alright. I might even make it again sometime.
I'm excited about this week. We are supposed to drop below 90 degrees for a few days after Tuesday, so Wed, Thur, and/or FriI may get to go to the old sod patch.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe