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Monday's #1124495
09/10/17 07:52 PM
09/10/17 07:52 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Wendell Johnson

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
````````

Signs that you are too drunk would be...

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Job interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
You can focus better with one eye closed.
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmmm.
The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
```````````

You Know You're In Trouble When...

...Your accountants letter of resignation is postmarked Zurich.

...Your suggestion box starts ticking.

...Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DA is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3.

...The simple instructions enclosed aren't.

...People send your wife sympathy cards on your anniversary.

...You see your wife and your girlfriend having lunch together.

...The plumber floats by on your kitchen table.

...You make more than you ever made, owe more than you ever owed, and have less than you've ever had.
```````````

There is a lot pilots have to take into account when hauling your backside across the sky...

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger
compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

24. The four most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, gas back at the airport, and a tenth of a second ago.

25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old, bold pilots.
``````````

Good morning everyboomie, and welcome to a new week. welcome


I'm ready to get the new week started, no problem, but right this very moment I'm looking to end the old week right. yes


It's football night in American, and guess who's playing(?) hamster


Never mind I'll just tell you THE COWBOYS are playing. yay


The game is about to start, so I'm just going to wish you all a happy day and quietly sneak out the back door. grin


Happy happy day everyone. rah


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1124511
09/10/17 09:45 PM
09/10/17 09:45 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Hope your team wins, Joe! Bears lost...no surprise there. lol

Have a great day all! I'll be heading to the city early to meet Looney (you all remember her, right? Banana phone lady. lol ) She is passing through Union Station going cross country so we will spend 4 hours together. Can't wait!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1124517
09/10/17 10:35 PM
09/10/17 10:35 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
luck to your team, Joe! Enjoy the game.

Have fun, Ana and Looney! woot

It's Sunday night here. My weekend was too short. lol I only have two more weeks of job balancing to go. I just have to keep telling myself this as I get up tomorrow at 4 am. lol

Have a great Monday, everyone. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1124522
09/10/17 11:16 PM
09/10/17 11:16 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Connie, I hope all is well in your corner of the world! Thinking of you!

Congrats on your new job, venus, I am happy for you!

Gerry, happy birthday! Cake in the corner!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1124538
09/11/17 04:53 AM
09/11/17 04:53 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
fall Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus and everyone. Ana thanks for the birthday cake! Will be celebrating quietly! Have fun visiting with looney! Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready to share!
Wishing you all a great day! fall


Gerry
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1124546
09/11/17 07:49 AM
09/11/17 07:49 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Morning Boomers fall

Joe, have a great day!

Ana, enjoy your day with Looney.

Venus, have a happy day.

Gerry, happy birthday. woot

Wishing everyone here and everyone on their way a super good day tody! lab


Gail
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1124564
09/11/17 09:13 AM
09/11/17 09:13 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Monday. We survived Irma. Lots of cleanup, but no major damage. Our lift stations are down, so no showers, laundry, or anything to cause the sewers to back up. We will continue to have tropical storm winds until later today, and are under curfew until 6 PM. Thanks to all who kept us in their prayers and thoughts. birthday Gerry, Birthday Cupcakes in the NC. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC. fall


Connie
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1124574
09/11/17 10:31 AM
09/11/17 10:31 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

Woke up to rain. Irma is sending fingers this way. They are telling us to expect winds up to 60 mph later today. It always surprises me when hurricanes can affect us this far away.

Boys are hanging with me. Danny and Son at work. Both think they will be home early.

Ana, tell Looney I said "hi." We miss her.

Venus, those 2 weeks will go fast, I bet.

birthday Gerry. Being quiet is my favorite way to spend my birthday. Hope yours is lovely.

Gail wavegirl

Connie, so glad to see your post this morning happydance
What is a lift station?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1124578
09/11/17 11:23 AM
09/11/17 11:23 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Good news Connie! Glad things aren't as bad as they could have been. I'm still waiting for news from my neighbor whose relatives live in Spring Hill. She's not getting any sleep just worrying about them.

Still on kitten watch around here. I think Mom Cat still has one kitten, who she is moving from 'safe' place to safe places. She has a routine of where she likes to move them. I heard one under the house 2 days ago, then Mom started coming for feedings from the opposite side of the house under the Orchid Cactus patch. I am trying to avoid that area so she won't move whatever remains again. Should be about 3 1/2 weeks old if any survive.

Going to be hot today. Weird. It's been so lovely and the day I run out of 'cool' T-shirts, the day starts out at 82? Maybe it's just a fluke, but I'm washing everything now just in case I need to change to cooler clothing.

Happy Monday!


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1124596
09/11/17 03:13 PM
09/11/17 03:13 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Good luck to the Cowboys Joe

Travel safe Ana

In the end the two weeks will be behind you Venus...keep smiling

Happy Birthday Gerry laugh Hope your day is filled with fun...I'll have a tea to go please

Happy Moanday Gail and SortaB...have a great day

Great to see you Connie and great news too! I also see you are still open for business...I missed breakfast this morning so I'll have eggs, grits, hash browns, pancakes, and french toast on the side

L4L hearts

Take care everyone wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1124616
09/11/17 06:06 PM
09/11/17 06:06 PM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Connie, hearts


Gail
Re: Monday's [Re: GBC] #1124620
09/11/17 06:22 PM
09/11/17 06:22 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Hi Boomer buddies. it is good to be back at the diner. hearts


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1124622
09/11/17 06:27 PM
09/11/17 06:27 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Neighbor finally heard from her relatives in Spring Hill Florida. They had a lot of weather, but everyone is OK, the homes are pretty much untouched except for losing a few big trees. Relief!


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1124627
09/11/17 06:50 PM
09/11/17 06:50 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Space Quest, so good to see you back hamster

Sorta, Glad your neighbor heard from her relatives. Even better, they are ok. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1124629
09/11/17 08:38 PM
09/11/17 08:38 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
dance yay joy SpaceQ!!! So happy to see you here!!! Missed you. Hugs! hearts

Connie, glad you are safe!

Hi all! My new car that I finally got back after over three weeks in the shop, broke again while stuck in Chicago traffic. Caused me to be an hour late to see Looney so we only had a couple hours to chat. Still great to see her! She says hi to all! I am back to a loaner car until they get mine straightened out. It may be awhile again.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1124636
09/11/17 08:45 PM
09/11/17 08:45 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Oh my gosh, Ana, that is awful. I am glad you got to see her though.

I'm off to bed. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1124642
09/11/17 09:32 PM
09/11/17 09:32 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
welcome back Space Quest!

Sorry about your car, Ana. sad Glad you got to see her shortly, anyway.

Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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