Anaïs Nin
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.
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Lessons In Logic
If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
Practice makes perfect.
But nobody's perfect
so why practice?
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Money is not everything.
There's MasterCard & Visa.
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep.
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning.
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk.
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours.
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So... why learn.
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.
what more can I say.
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Male Wedding Plans
What would it be like if men were put in charge of organizing weddings?
There would be a "Rehearsal Dinner Kegger" until the cops showed up.
Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops.
They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not.
Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors.
June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs.
Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that "forsaking all others" part.
The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up '73 Charger or some other Mopar with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car. Better yet, a Harley!
Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really old) would get punched in the head.
Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man".
There would be "Tailgate Receptions".
Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at half-time or between innings.
Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.
Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the bachelor party. The cost of strippers and liquor really do add up.
Men wouldn't ask, "Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy or the wine colored napkins?" They'd just grab extras from their local pub, tavern or donut store.
Favors would be matchbooks and cigars. Better yet, free drink passes at the local lounge.
The bride's dress would show cleavage, her navel, and be form-fitted to her arse.
Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or buckets of chicken, pizza and plenty of b-b-q.
No one would bother with that "Veil Routine". But they would insist that the garter be as high up on her leg as it could go.
The bridal bouquet would be recycled from a previous funeral/wedding (what's the difference) or something.
Invitations would read as follows...
Tom (Dick or Harry) is getting the old ball and chain...
He's getting married. He either:
A) Knocked her up
B) Couldn't get a different roommate or
C) Caved in to her ultimatum...
Please meet the woman who will cook and clean for him. For the rest of his life at Soldier Field Stadium. On the 50 Yard Line At Half-time during Sunday's Game. Please join us at the Moonlight Lounge after the game For Beer, Nachos and Pizza.
Oh yeah... BYOB!
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Good morning everyboomie.
The weekend has ended. It was a great day for football......as long as you're not a Cowboys fan.
At least the Texans won, and boy howdy did they win!
I guess I shouldn't feel too bad when the Patriots lost their second game as well, and they won the Super Bowl last season.
It's true, misery loves company. I feel all better now.
Monday looks like a Walmart day, judging from the contents of my fridge.
I'll take the dogs parking first, then we'll all come home and have a grand old time doing something else.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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Good Morning Joe, Ana, and everyone. Joe love the funnies! Ana enjoy your day. Coffee and tea are ready.
Hubby took the young ones and I took Keoki walking once I got up. Wee bit windy, but I'll take that over the heat any day. 
