Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others.
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Meeting Bingo
Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Monotone voices burbling on and on like a creek for hours on end, forcing you to look for the nearest sharp object or length of wire to end it all. Here's a way to change all of that...
1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5"x5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
synergy
strategic fit
core competencies
best practice
bottom line
revisit
take that off-line
24/7
out of the loop
benchmark
value-added
proactive
win-win
think outside the box
fast track
result-driven
empower
knowledge base
solution
touch base
mindset
client focus
paradigm
game plan
leverage
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHOT!"
Testimonials from satisfied "Bullshot Bingo" players:
"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."
- Jack W., Boston
"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."
- David D., Florida
"What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win."
- Bill R., New York City
"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Denver
"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHOT!' for the third time in two hours." - Kathleen L., Atlanta
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Men And Dogs
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
Dogs don't criticize your friends.
Dogs admit when they're jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs do not play games with you--except Frisbee (and they never laugh at how you throw).
Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
You can train a dog.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
(OK. The *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)
Dogs understand what no means.
Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
Dogs admit it when they're lost.
Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE ALIKE
Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
Both are threatened by their own kind.
Both mark their territory.
Both are bad at asking you questions.
Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
Neither does any dishes.
Both pass gas shamelessly.
Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
Both like dominance games.
Both are suspicious of the postman.
Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
Neither understands what you see in cats.
HOW MEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS
Men only have two feet that track in mud.
Men can buy you presents.
Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block.
Men are a little bit more subtle.
Dogs have dog breath all the time.
Men don't shed as much, and if they do, they hide it.
And the number one reason dogs fall short...
It's fun to dry off a wet man !!!!!!!! (If you're a woman that is !!!)
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend!
Hey soot, I enjoyed the game, but I was kinda pulling for Tampa. I didn't think they would win, but the sure made a run at it didn't they?
I'm watching Kill Bill V1 right now. Love that movie.
Later on I'm going to try out my own acting skills with the staring role in Rip Van Winkle.
Ana I hope you sleep better tonight.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe