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TGIF #1132962
11/23/17 09:20 PM
11/23/17 09:20 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

~Henny Youngman~

Otherwise you need to be out of bed by 11:00. yes
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

A guy has a talking dog.
He brings it to a talent scount.
"This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent.
"Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what's on the top of a house?" "Roof!" the dog replies.
"Oh, come on..." the talent agent responds.
"All dogs go roof." "No, wait," the guy says.
He asks the dog "what does sandpaper feel like?"
"Rough!" the dog answers.
The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience. "No, hang on," the guy says.
"This one will amaze you."
He turns and asks the dog: "Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?"
"Ruth!" goes the dog.
And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street.
And the dog turns to the guy and says "Maybe I should have said DiMaggio?"

`````````

A girl has brought her fiance home for dinner. After dinner, the fiance
and the girl's father go into the study for a man to man talk.

"So, what are you doing right now?" asks the father.

"I am a theology scholar," replies the fiance.

"Do you have any plans of employment?"

"I will study and God will provide."

"What about the children?" asks the man.

"God will provide."

"And your house and car?"

"Again, God will provide," says the fiance.

After the talk, the girl's mother asks the father, "So what did you two
talk about?"

The man replies, "He has no plans of employment, and
he thinks I'm God."

``````````````

A factory foreman is walking through the work area, and notices that Kawolski isn't at his station.

He asks one of the other workers if they know where Kawolski is, and the employee points straight up in the air. The foreman looks up, and there's Kawolski, hanging by one arm from the rafters.

"Get down from there, Kawolski," he yells, to which Kawolski replies, "But I'm a light bulb!"

The boss is -NOT- impressed, and makes Kawolski climb down and get back to work.

About an hour later, the boss is walking through the factory once again, and once again he notices that Kawolski is missing. On a hunch, he looks up, and again sees Kawolski hanging by one arm from the rafters.

The foreman makes him climb down, and chews him out, saying that if he catches Kawolski up there one more time, he's going to get fired.

Another hour later, the boss is making another round, and sure enough... there's Kawolski, hanging by one arm from the rafters.

"That's it, Kawolski," he yells. "You're FIRED!"

Kawolski climbs down, and grabs his lunchbox. As he gathers his belongings, all of the other employees stop working, and begin to empty their lockers as well.

"What's going on?" the foreman asks. "The rest of you had better get back to work right now!"

One of the employees turns to the forman and says, "Sorry boss, but we aren't about to work in the dark."

`````````````

This guy walks into a bar and ask the bar tender for a drink. He gets his drink and minds his own business and looks up and down the bar.
To his amazement, he is stunned to see a 10' pianist on top of the bar.
"Hey bartender," he says..."What is that 10' pianist doing on top of your bar?"
"Well, you see this lamp?" asks the bartender.
"Rub this lamp and you can make a wish, and you will see why I have a 10' pianist on the bar."
So the man rubs the lamp and he wishes for a million bucks.
All of a sudden, the doors pop open and a million ducks come flying into the bar.
"Hey wait a minute!" says the man. "I wished for a million bucks not a million ducks."
The bartender looks at him and says..."Do you think I asked for a 10' pianist?"

``````````

"Boss, I've got to have a raise," the salesman said to his sales manager.
"There are three other companies after me."
"Is that a fact?" the manager asked. "What other companies are after you?"
"The electric company, the phone company, and the gas company."

````````````

The Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony beaming at
thousands of people in the forecourt below.
The Queen says to the Pope out of the corner of her mouth, "I bet you a tenner that I can make
every English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my hand."
The Pope says, "No way. You can't do that."
The Queen says, "Watch this."
So the Queen waves her hand and every English person in the crowd goes crazy, waving their little plastic Union Jacks on sticks and cheering, basically going ballistic.

So the Pope is standing there thinking, "Uh oh, what am I going to do?
I never thought she'd be able to do it."
So he thinks to himself for a minute and then he turns to her and says,
"I bet you I can make every Irish person in the crowd go wild, not just
now, but for the rest of the week, with just one nod of my head."
The Queen goes, "No way, it can't be done."
So the Pope headbutts her.

`````````````

A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Mary Lou written on it," she replied.

"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Mary Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explained.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known there was a good explanation."

Three days later he was watching a ballgame on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, "What the hell was that for?"

She replied, "Your horse called."

`````````````````

"My whole family is shocked and surprised with the death of my uncle", says a man to his friend.

"Oh, that's terrible. Tell me, how old was he?", asks the friend.

"He was 95 years old", answers the man.

"Actually, that's kind of old", claims the friend, "Why are you so surprised?".

"Because his parachute didn't open".

```````````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


I hope you're all doing great today after all the stuffing yesterday. turkey


It was a really nice day here, until the Cowboys played. taz


It's down right painful to watch them this year, they're so bad. blush


They don't do any good at all in the first half, and then in the second half they completely fall apart. hardwall


There's always next year I guess..... rah


I hope you're all ready for a great weekend.


Have a happy day y'all. thumbsup


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1132980
11/24/17 12:16 AM
11/24/17 12:16 AM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer
MsMercury  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
Hello to Joe and all Boomers who stop by later! Hoping you are all well and had a peaceful Thanksgiving!

Doing 'night shift' tonight, can't sleep!

Will be attending funeral for my Aunt later on today, she passed away very suddenly on Monday. sad

Have a great day guys, take care!

Mary hearts wavegirl


"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1132987
11/24/17 01:06 AM
11/24/17 01:06 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, sorry your Cowboys stank today! I guess they aren't playing this weekend then, huh? You can rewatch an old game that they won. lol

Mary, so sorry about your aunt. My condolences. hearts

Chiropractor appt today and no work, so I am a happy camper!

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1132996
11/24/17 05:47 AM
11/24/17 05:47 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
fall Good Morning Joe, Mary, Ana and everyone. Joe to bad about the Cowboys game. Maybe they are just getting a slow start this season! Mary we had a peaceful Thanksgiving. Sorry to hear about your Aunt. Ana are you feeling any better?
Coffee, tea, and hot chocolate are ready.
Wishing you all a great day and if you are shopping Good Luck! fall


Gerry
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1133004
11/24/17 08:14 AM
11/24/17 08:14 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great TGIF. Mary, I'm sorry about your aunt. Karaoke tonight at the Eagles. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC. fall


Connie
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1133028
11/24/17 01:07 PM
11/24/17 01:07 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Good morning Joe Ms Mary Ana Gerry Connie and the rest of the Boomers when you're up and at em today laugh

What a great day and meal had by us yesterday to include our Skywalker lol

Really enjoying the time off and going to game with WOM today which is always great happydance

Yes Joe, I was surprised about yesterday's game...tomorrow is another day

So sorry to hear about you Aunt Mary...will keep you and family in our prayers

Hope you're feeling better after your appointment Ana

I'll have hot chocolate today Gerry...it's time for some chocolate

Have fun at Karaoke Connie...enjoy...I'll have a Danish to go!

Have a great day everyone wave2

Catch you later...


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1133031
11/24/17 01:15 PM
11/24/17 01:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

I'm having a hard time waking up this morning...staying in bed all day watching tv sounded sooooooooo good. But finally I am up and dressed and getting on with the day. I hope everyone had a fun one yesterday!

Mary, my condolences. Always hard to lose someone you love.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1133040
11/24/17 02:06 PM
11/24/17 02:06 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
So while my Thanksgiving Day was calm and nice, my neighbor lady, who went to her son's house for dinner, didn't have the same experience. I called her after dark (she doesn't drive at night) and although her car was there, she didn't answer. Finally, a car arrived and delivered her home. She called and said that while they were getting ready for dinner, her son, who is a diabetic and has had a few heart attacks, leaned over to pick up something from the floor, stood up, walked a few steps and collapsed. He has done this before and it's so scary. He refused to go to the hospital, but they did get paramedics to look him over and they strongly suggested he go. He still refused, so after they left, MOM finally badgered him enough to allow the wife and her to drive him to the emergency room. Seems he was dehydrated. He never drinks enough water, so mom says and needed a bag or so of stuff. She doesn't know what. I'm guessing saline and glucose. He's fine now, mom is a wreck. So much for Thanksgiving family togetherness. Mom is 87, son is late 60's and her only child. I'm keeping an eye on her today until I see she's calm and collected.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1133057
11/24/17 04:38 PM
11/24/17 04:38 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Oh, Goodness, Sorta, that was scary for her!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1133072
11/24/17 08:58 PM
11/24/17 08:58 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good evening all! Beautiful day here! No work, went to the chiropractor and then went for a hike with my camera. My favorite pastime that I haven't done in a month. It was a fantastic 62 degree day!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1133088
11/24/17 11:29 PM
11/24/17 11:29 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
woot Ana...glad you got out to take pictures!

Wow SortaB...what day for your neighbor!

Enjoyed my first turkey sandwich today laugh

Good night all...see you tomorrow

sleep


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1133091
11/24/17 11:36 PM
11/24/17 11:36 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Sounds wonderful, Ana.

We just had a fun game night. Off to bed. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1133116
11/25/17 10:17 AM
11/25/17 10:17 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,402
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,402
marietta,georgia
tomorrow i hope my sister and i split up the food., the reason the cowboys lost is because one of the players failed a drug test, and sorry mary about your lost , will keep your family and you in our prayers.

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