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TGIF #1138154
01/11/18 09:15 PM
01/11/18 09:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.

~Amelia Earhart~
````````````````

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded, dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are rude, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at the downtown International Marriott."

"That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?"

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the man, "not only were we on time in one of TWA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel - it was great! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it's the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the barber, "I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke to me."

"Really?" asked the Barber. "What'd he say?"

"He said, 'Who gave you such a lousy haircut?'"

``````````````````

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."

"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."

"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

```````````

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."

`````````````

An American tourist visited a small town in Spain.

The residents had never seen an American before, so he was treated as an honoured guest at the hotel.

Dinning for the first night, he asked the waiter what he recommended for dinner.

He suggested the "cojones".

The tourist asked what they were and the waiter replied, "Those are the testicles of the bull killed in the ring today."

He was shocked but agreed to try them after being assured it was a delicacy reserved only for special guests.

The tourist found them to be very tasty.

The next night he again ordered them for dinner.

The waiter complied but somewhat reluctantly.

The tourist again found them to be very tasty but asked the waiter why they were so much smaller than before.

The waiter said, "You see, Senor, sometimes it is the bull that wins!"

`````````````

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man.

So, he hired a famous chinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report any activities that might develop.

A few days later, he recieved this report:

Most honorable sir:

You leave house.

He come house.

I watch.

He and she leave house.

I follow.

He and she get on train.

I follow.

He and she go in hotel.

I climb tree-look in window.

He kiss she.

She kiss he.

He strip she.

She strip he. He play with she. She play with he.

I play with me. Fall out of tree, not see.

````````````

The girl was supposed to write a short story in as few words as possible
for her college class and the instructions were that it had to discuss Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.

She was the only one who received
an A+ and this is what she wrote:



Good God, I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?

````````````

The lookout aboard a clipper ship spots a pirate ship approaching, and yells down to the captain. The captain orders the bosun to bring his red shirt. The captain puts on his red shirt, and successfully leads his crew in fighting off the pirates. The next day, the lookout spots TWO pirate ships approaching. He yells to the captain, who again orders the bosun to bring his red shirt. The captain again wears the red shirt as they successfully repel the pirates. After the battle the bosun asks, "Captain, why do you always wear the red shirt in battle?" The captain replies, "Because, if I am wounded, the crew will not see the blood and lose their courage." The next day the lookout spots SIX pirate ships approaching and yells to the captain. Anticipating the order, the bosun immediately brings the red shirt. "To heck with that!" says the captain. "Bring me my brown pants!"

`````````````

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe.

``````````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave


You know, spell check had a problem with amolst ervy wrod in taht lsat jkoe. headscratch


IT'S FRIDAY!! penguin


Hope it's a warmer day. razz


Today we we're supposed to get to 61 degrees. I looked at the thermometer and it said 59 degrees, so I took the dogs parking, but it was so windy because of a cold front moving in, and the temperature had already started to fall, and it felt like about 35 degrees at the park. I was in my shorts. shiver


Right now it's 32 degrees, and the wind chill is 14 degrees. winter


That's a bit nippy for these parts, and by that I mean any part of my body that's exposed. snicker


I hope things are sunny and warm where you are.......and that you save a spot for me. wink


Have a happy day everyone. rah


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1138161
01/12/18 12:19 AM
01/12/18 12:19 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Back to miserable frigid temps again. We had a couple nice days at least!

It's been a really busy week, I am looking forward to the weekend!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1138164
01/12/18 01:00 AM
01/12/18 01:00 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Stay warm Joe and Ana! shiver Ana, I'm also looking forward to the weekend. yes

It's Thursday night and I'm off to sleep. I have one more work day left, and then it's time for the weekend. happydance12 I was able to get in some practice today, and I'm hoping I'll have time tomorrow as well. smile

Have a fantastic Friday, everyone. winter


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1138173
01/12/18 05:45 AM
01/12/18 05:45 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus and all. Joe that's amazing. I was able to read it with no problem. Ana hope you have a warmer day. Venus hope you get some time to practice. Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready.
Wishing you all a great day! wave


Gerry
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1138184
01/12/18 08:04 AM
01/12/18 08:04 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful TGIF. Shopping with a friend today, and Karaoke at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. winter


Connie
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1138188
01/12/18 08:32 AM
01/12/18 08:32 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers smile

Joe, stay warm now.

Ana, enjoy the day!

Venus, hope you get in some good practice.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Connie, have a great night at the Eagles. Enjoy your visit with your friend.

Hope the day is great for everyone here and on their way! hug


Gail
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1138190
01/12/18 08:45 AM
01/12/18 08:45 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Good morning Joe Ana Venus Gerry Connie and Gail laugh

Another dry (so far) but muggy walk this morning with 3 of our pack enjoying the morning quiet and listening to the latest Jack Reacher book. Sure would like to have him on my team!

Joe, I have a spot saved for you down here...it's currently 57...but...we're headed down to the 20s this weekend so you probably want to look further South...like Key West where its 74 degrees right now. Whoa, that sounds nice.

I'm looking forward to the weekend too Ana...lots of chores & projects to do but get all day time and game time with WOM

woot Venus...keep up the practice and enjoy your weekend

Stay safe while shopping Connie and have fun tonight

Hoping for a grand TGIF day for you Gerry and Gail

I'll have a stack of pancakes, eggs sunny side up, bacon, grits and a coffee please.

See you all later

wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1138206
01/12/18 11:06 AM
01/12/18 11:06 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Fantastic Friday and Welcome to the weekend! puppy

Started the day near 60...heading down to the 20's tonight. Might get Keoki out for a walk but rumor has it the wind is supposed to howling. We shall see.

wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1138217
01/12/18 12:22 PM
01/12/18 12:22 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Nice weather here. Rain all gone, sun coming out around 7 am, things are drying out slowly and it smells great with all the wet vegetation. Only problem is my tree which fell against my back gate is still there, mocking me. Can't use the gate. Tree is 20-25 feet tall, been dead for years, and is horribly heavy. I can't cut it myself and have to call a tree removal guy. Trying to find the money to pay him, and I don't know what it will cost yet. Can't call until I get some cash. He's only 1 1/2 blocks away, was here long ago for another 'emergency' and usually wants to do the job immediately. Gathering my pennies but it will be awhile. Hate not having my back gate working. Have to walk my trash all through the house, out the front door, around the side and back to the cans. Ugh!


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1138259
01/12/18 07:28 PM
01/12/18 07:28 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Oh my SortaB...hope your penny hunting is successful...maybe you can enlist Joe as he's very good at finding things!

Great last day of work to finish the week and now I'm ready for the weekend...oh yeah

L4L was spot on, the temperature fell rapidly this afternoon and it was quite cold & blustery as Pooh would say...not a good day for her to walk Keoki.

Off to Garden...see you all later wave2

Later it is...time for bed...sleep well everyone sleep

Last edited by soot; 01/12/18 10:57 PM.

Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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