In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
~George Carlin~
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Here are some funny resume mistakes:“Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.”
“Education: College, August 1880- May 1984.”
“Work Experience: Dealing with customers’ conflicts that arouse.”
“Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget.”
“I’m a rabid typist.”
“Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation.”
Reasons for Leaving your Previous Job:
“Responsibility makes me nervous.”
“They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn’t work under those conditions.”
“Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”
“Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches.”
“I was working for my mom until she decided to move.”
“The company made me a scapegoat – just like my three previous employers.”
Personal Qualities
“I’m married with 9 children. I don’t require prescription drugs.”
“I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don’t let them know of my immediate availability.”
“Number of dependents: 40.”
“Marital Status: Often. Children: Various.”
“I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award”
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Actual Medical Record Entries Mistakes From DoctorsDischarge status: alive but without permission.
The patient has been depressed ever since
she began seeing me in 1983.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
Patient has left his white blood cells
at another hospital.
Between you and me, we ought to be able
to get this lady pregnant.
She is numb from her toes down.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband,
I thought you would like to work her up.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
Both breasts are equal and reactive
to light and accommodation.
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Funniest Bush quotes for 2004 are:10) “I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me.”
—Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004
9) “Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling.”
—Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004
8) “Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat.”
—Washington, D.C., Sept. 17, 2004
7) “It’s a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life.”
—Washington, D.C., Dec. 21, 2004
6) We will make sure our troops have all that is necessary to complete their missions. That’s why I went to the Congress last September and proposed fundamental — supplemental funding, which is money for armor and body parts and ammunition and fuel.”
—Erie, Pa., Sept. 4, 2004
5) “After standing on the stage, after the debates, I made it very plain, we will not have an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week — we will have an all-volunteer army!”
—Daytona Beach, Fla., Oct. 16, 2004
4) “Tribal sovereignty means that; it’s sovereign. I mean, you’re a — you’ve been given sovereignty, and you’re viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities.” —Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004
3) “I hear there’s rumors on the Internets that we’re going to have a draft.”
—second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004
2) “Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.”
—Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004
1) “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
—Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend!
Hopefully it will be a carbon copy of last weekend, where Sunday followed Saturday.
Otherwise I'm gonna have to rename this thread.
Any other differences you'll just have to adjust for yourself.......mentally I suppose, maybe emotionally.
Sorry it's too late to adjust physically.
Of course if you had a happy day last Saturday, then you'll probably want to keep that in there too.
Enjoy your weekend everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Joe! Weekends are awesome! I am so ready for mine! Hubby and I are taking James to Starved Rock to see the icefalls. He's never been before so I hope he loves it! 
Hmmm, Venus I am liking your theory's...kind of like a spin on Ground Hog Day. 
