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#1139991 - 01/29/18 09:10 PM Tuesday's
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32450
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.


"I gave up jogging for health reasons. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire."—Judy Franconi


“I would like vitamins for my son,” a mother said. “Vitamin A, B or C?” the pharmacist asked. “It doesn’t matter,” the mother replied. “He can’t read yet.”


One night as I was putting my 
2 1/2-year-old daughter to bed, 
I saw a bright full moon in the sky. I let her look at the moon for a minute and then asked, “Who made the moon?”

“God,” came her reply.
“And the stars?” I asked. Again the answer was, “God.”
I continued with a few more questions: Who made the trees, the flowers, etc. Finally I asked, “Who made Daddy?”
She said, “Grandma.”


My niece Katrina tailgates other cars and it makes me nervous. I just can’t get it through her head that she does this and that it’s very dangerous. One good thing is that I sometimes find myself drawing closer to the Lord when I ride with her.


I bought one of those tapes to teach you Spanish in your sleep. During the night, the tape skipped. Now I can only stutter in Spanish.

Steven Wright


Probably the worst thing you can hear when you’re wearing a bikini is “Good for you!”



The photographer was positioning my new husband and me for 
our wedding photos when he asked, “Have you ever modeled?”

My cheeks instantly turned red. “No, I haven’t,” I said. “But I always thought …”

The photographer interrupted me: “I meant him.”


How To Translate Work Emails

I have a question. = I have 18 questions.

I’ll look into it. = I’ve already forgotten about it.

I tried my best. = I did the bare minimum.

Happy to discuss further. = Don’t ask me about this again.

No worries. = You really messed up this time.

Take care. = This is the last you’ll ever hear from me.

Cheers! = I have no respect for you or myself!


Watch The Walking Dead with someone who is super into it, so every time a zombie appears, you can pull the old, “Wait, who’s this, now?”


The Problem With Scooby-Doo

Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.


My collection of vintage kitchen utensils includes one whose intended purpose was always a mystery. It looks like a cross between a metal slotted spoon and a spatula, so I 
use it as both. When not in use, it 
is prominently displayed in a 
decorative ceramic utensil caddy 
in my kitchen.

The mystery of the spoon/spatula was recently solved when I found one in its original packaging at 
a rummage sale.

It’s a pooper-scooper.


One of my friends is pregnant. And I’m really excited. Not for the baby but because she’s one of my skinniest friends.

@MichelleIsAWolf (Michelle Wolf)


After hearing a sermon on Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the IRS, “I can’t sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. Enclosed is a check for $150. If 
I still can’t sleep, I’ll send the rest.”


Good morning everyboomie. wave2

Welcome to a new Tuesday! penguin

The new Monday is now another 'old Monday' to file away with all the other old Mondays. wave


If you were starting a new chapter in your life today, what would you title it? think

Inquiring minds want to know. yes

If it was a new chapter in my life, I guess I would call it.....Chapter 24,090....give or take a day. snicker

Every day is a new chapter right? wink

Maybe, I'd call it 'Just Another Manic Tuesday' insane

Who knows?

Have a happy new chapter everyone.


Edited by gymcandy1 (01/29/18 09:13 PM)
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#1139992 - 01/29/18 09:56 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 76516
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Happy Monday, Joe! I would call my new chapter "Full Steam Ahead: The Adventure Awaits"

Have a happy day all! I had an easy day yesterday, today is booked solid.

Ana wave
Don't feed the Trolls

#1139993 - 01/29/18 10:00 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 28772
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
What'd you think of the Grammy Awards Joe? Anything you like...other than the pretty girls?

Chapter 1: Keep Smiling!

Wife and I were taking on Legion invasion no rest for the weary.

How are the puppy visits Ana...I'll bet they are a blast

Woo Hoo Hoo Venus, a three-day weekend coming favorite kind of weekend!

I'll have a cup of Hot Chocolate Gerry...have a good day!

I'll have French Toast, eggs and a danish Connie...have a great day!

Hope you get to just hang around today too Gail!

Good morning L4L...Stay Out Of Trees!

Have a great day everyone!

To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music

#1139995 - 01/29/18 10:07 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 76516
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Soot, I love my job! It's tiring, but how can you have a bad day when all your clients are so happy to see you everyday!
Hope you can kick the Legion Invasion forces butt!
Don't feed the Trolls

#1140003 - 01/30/18 12:29 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 8262
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Joe, I'm tempted to call my chapter "Cat," as everything important in life should involve a cat. grin However, since it would have to be a musical, as I sing every day, people would be too likely to confuse it with that other musical of a similar name. wink So, I'll just call it "Rose Petal Keyboard," because . . . well, it doesn't have to make sense. lol

Ana, that's a great name. thumbsup Glad you're enjoying your job, and hope it's not too tiring for you today!

Soot, I know, I'm really looking forward to it. thumbsup I'm sure you and L4L were tremendously successful taking on the Legion Invasion Forces. grin

It's Monday night, and I'm off to sleep. I had an especially good practice session today. It's back to work for me tomorrow, and practice afterward, of course. smile

Hope everyone has a great Tuesday. winter
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

#1140011 - 01/30/18 03:53 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 23330
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, soot, venus and everyone. Joe I'm retired so I would have to call my new Chapter Healthy is Happy! Ana that's the right attitude! Soot good luck with Legion Invasion! I'm replaying Tomb Raider Anniversary. Getting used to the controls again! Venus I agree I love cats too. Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready.
catrub Wishing you all a cat happy day! catrub

#1140016 - 01/30/18 07:21 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10641
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Beautiful Tuesday. Joe, mine would be Welcome to a New and Beautiful Chapter. Dinner, Dancing, and Karaoke at 8-8 Panda tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. penguin

#1140018 - 01/30/18 08:05 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 18262
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers penguin

Joe, I'd love a new chapter in my life. Think I'd call it "The great success".

Ana, enjoy the pups today. lab

Venus, good day ahead.

Soot, I'm just hanging around. Have a great day!

Gerry, hot coffee please and thank you. ( I love my coffee).

Connie, enjoy Panda tonight.

Wishing everyone a wonderful day! It's snowing here. winter

#1140041 - 01/30/18 10:12 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47862
Loc: Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

It's Cold in AL. Had to turn the heat on this morning after at least a week on not running it. Hubby is on his way for an out-and-back to Colorado. Daughter pins on Tech Sgt tomorrow. So good that hubby will be there.

Love the quote, Joe

Enjoy the pups, Ana.

Venus, love that name. Maybe it should be "Cats on the Rose Petal Keyboard."

Gerry wave

Connie, enjoy!

Gail, they said the "S" word for us too, but haven't seen it yet.
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

#1140047 - 01/30/18 11:14 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 9683
Loc: San Diego, CA
New Chapter for me is: "Remembering The Future". Fits my life exactly.
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

#1140097 - 01/30/18 11:51 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 8262
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
L4L, that sounds good, I'll go with that. grin

Good night, everyone. sleep
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?


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