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#1140946 - 02/08/18 07:14 PM TGIF
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32050
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.

~Thomas Jefferson~
``````````````````

There she is. Sitting there at the bar. Time to make your move. But what do you say? You start to get a little nervous. Then you remember. “Oh yeah. I have a new iphone. And some oh so witty pick up lines.” You relax. You walk up to her casually and say:

I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock. Plus I have an iphone!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put u and iphone together.

Hey baby. iphone you tomorrow?

Hi. My friend over there bet you wouldn’t let me google you on our first date. So what do you say? I’ll buy you a drink. You can even google me back. My iphone battery is big and strong and fully charged up, so we could google all night.

Did you know my iphone is also a remote control? Let’s go somewhere remote and you can have control.

Hi there angel. Did it hurt when you fell from heav- oh, sorry, I’m getting a call on my new iphone…. Oh, it was Saint Peter. He said have a great time on your trip to Earth, and don’t worry about being good- they won’t keep score up there while you are on leave.

I AM happy to see you but that’s just an ipod in my pocket.

Hi there. Wanna use your fingers to enlarge my pixel size?

Is your dad a thief? Because if he is, I’ll keep my new ipod hidden when you introduce him to me next Saturday.

I think I need to call Heaven- on my new iphone- because they lost one of their angels.

I forgot my phone number. Can I have yours? I’ll store it in my new iphone.

Excuse me- I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your place? Let me just open up Google maps in my iphone.

How much does my new iphone weigh? Enough to break the ice. Can I enter in your phone number?

You know, inheriting 50 million dollars doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart, even if you have a four houses, two islands and a brand new iphone like this one.

Excuse me, did you just call me on my iphone? Then I guess it wasn’t my phone that was vibrating in my pocket.

````````````

These popular redneck pickup lines were obtained by InnocentEnglish- the first site to acquire them- by sending out private investigators into redneck bars across the South. These brave women put on very uncomfortable cowboy boots and 6 times their usual amounts of make up in order to attract redneck men at many different bars. They took notes of every pick up line used, and together created this list of the most popular and commonly used redneck pickup lines.

BEST FUNNY REDNECK PICKUP LINES


If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d sure shootin’ put U and me together.

I may not have as many teeth as Fred Flinstone, but wanna watch me make my bedrock?

Your eyes are the same color as my 1972 Ford Pickup Truck. I mean without the mud. Or the nude girl on the mud flaps.

Howdy. You’re not the kinda unchristian girl that goes out drinking and then spends the night with the first loser she meets are ya? Well then, how about your uglier friend there?

Well, aren’t you hotter than a mama cougar in heat running from my hunting dogs in August?

Hey Baby. Wanna go back to my place? Mamma said you had to be home by 11 anyway.

Can I make you a drink? My still is in the back of my camper- Or as I call it- my sheep shack.

Well, tie me to a pig and roll me in the mud! You are mighty purdy for a heavy girl.

Can I borrow your t-shirt? I gotta go wipe the oil off my dip stick.

If I had a garden, I’d put your tulips next to my tulips. And then plant some watermelon and probably a few tomato plants. It’s a little late in the year for lettuce, but we might be able to still get a few green beans to grow, iffen we add enough fertilizer, and give ‘em a lot of evening water since day water can just kill off those suckers right quick, cuz of how strong the sun is and those water beads just act like a magnifier, which is great for zapping those sunbich aphids but don’t do the vegetables no good at all which is why- what was we talking about?

Tell me honey ham, did it hurt when the devil spit you up and you landed here?

Hi there darling. Wow, I bet you were really hot when you were about my age!

Roses are red. Spend the night with me and I’ll teach you all kinds of cool scientific stuff like that!

You’re hair is just about as purdy as that squirrel’s I skinned this morning. And it smells just as good!

A few more beers, and I’d probly do ya. So give me a minute darling, and then I’ll give you one!

Hello there darlin. You look finer than a new set of retreads on my 58' peek-up truck.

````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Well this here train has one more day to chug through before pulling into the weekend. razz


It'S FRIDAY!! dance


I picked up another passenger to help me make it a great weekend. Beau has come to visit. puppy


We have 65 degrees on tap for Friday. hamster


Not bad for a February 9th eh? yay


Have a happy day everyone. rah


joe
_________________________
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

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#1140962 - 02/08/18 11:59 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 7380
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have fun with Beau, Joe, and enjoy your warmer weather. thumbsup

It's Thursday night, and I'm off to sleep. Tomorrow should be a nice short work day for me, which means I'll have plenty of time to practice. rah

Have a great Friday, everyone. winter
_________________________
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

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#1140963 - 02/09/18 12:00 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 74662
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
While you are enjoying your 65 degrees, Joe, I'll be fighting this snowstorm here walking dogs. lol Most of my clients have canceled, but I am taking others from people afraid to drive. Fun day ahead! Enjoy Beau!

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#1140974 - 02/09/18 05:33 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22507
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, venus, Ana and everyone. Joe what a wonderfully warm day for you! Have fun with Beau and the dogs! Venus how nice you have a short work day to start the weekend. Ana I can't believe you are getting so many storms! Stay safe!
Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready.
Wishing you all a Happy Friday! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#1140987 - 02/09/18 06:51 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 18262
Loc: Massachusetts
Morning Boomers happydance12

Joe, enjoy your wonderful heat!

Venus, have a great short work day.

Ana, hang in there.

Gerry, have a great day!

Wishing a wonderful day to All! cat
_________________________
Gail

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#1140988 - 02/09/18 07:00 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10091
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super TGIF. Our temps are back in the 80's again. Karaoke at Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, French Toast, and Bacon in the NC. kitty
_________________________
Connie

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#1140989 - 02/09/18 07:49 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Geo Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/01/05
Posts: 2711
Loc: Michigan
What are BB Pancakes?

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#1141028 - 02/09/18 11:05 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10091
Loc: winter springs fl.
Blueberry Pancakes, Midge's favorite. wave2
_________________________
Connie

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#1141031 - 02/09/18 11:25 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Geo Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/01/05
Posts: 2711
Loc: Michigan
I thought they were BarBQ. Yech.

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#1141033 - 02/09/18 11:28 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 27042
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
TGIF Ana Joe Venus Geo Connie Gerry Gail and the rest of the gang when you are up and at em today laugh

I'll have a Danish and a cuppa tea to go please

Wishing everyone a great day!

wave2
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music

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#1141045 - 02/09/18 11:58 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47362
Loc: Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

Made it from the bed as far as the computer. Wanted to stop in and wave before going back to bed. It's a beautiful day in Al. Wish we could roll back the roof. wavegirl
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#1141116 - 02/09/18 07:26 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 9458
Loc: San Diego, CA
Filled in yet another hole in my driveway. Getting tired of hauling around 50lb bags of asphalt patch!
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#1141142 - 02/09/18 11:26 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 74662
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Nighty night...
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#1141154 - 02/10/18 02:31 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 7380
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep
_________________________
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

Top

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