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Tuesday's #1141485
02/12/18 09:40 PM
02/12/18 09:40 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
When you can't make them see the light, make them feel the heat.

~Ronald Reagan~
```````````````

On the day I received my learner’s permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver’s seat. “Why aren’t you sitting up front on the passenger’s side?” I asked.

“Kirsten, I’ve been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl,” Dad replied. “Now it’s my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.”

`````````

While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Mom couldn’t help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, “Now remember — run to Dad first, then the dog.”

``````````

My husband’s cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service. They bought their four-year-old son two stuffed bears — one in a UPS uniform and the other in Marine garb. When the boy seemed confused, his father brought out a picture of himself in full Marine dress. “See, Connor?” he explained, pointing to the photo and then to the bear. “That’s Daddy.”

Connor’s eyes went from one to the other, and then he asked in a puzzled voice, “You used to be a bear?”

````````````

Father’s Day was near when I brought my three-year-old son, Tyler, to the card store. Inside, I showed him the cards for dads and told him to pick one.

When I looked back, Tyler was picking up one card after another, opening them up and quickly shoving them back into slots, every which way. “Tyler, what are you doing?” I asked.

“Haven’t you found a nice card for Daddy yet?”

“No,” he replied. “I’m looking for one with money in it.”

``````````

I decided to make myself useful and do a load of the family laundry. When I took the clothes out of the machine, I discovered — to my dismay — that I had also washed the watch my wife had given me while we were dating. “Don’t expect me to replace it,” she said later with an obvious lack of sympathy. By the time Father’s Day rolled around, however, she had relented and gave me a beautiful new watch. Attached was a note with this stipulation: “DRY-CLEAN ONLY!”

`````````

Our Gen-X daughter, Cristie, made my husband a Father’s Day card entitled “Things My Dad Would Never Say.” Such as:

“Can you turn up that music?”

“Go ahead and take my truck. Here’s 50 bucks for gas.”

“I LOVE your tattoo. We should both get new ones.”

“Here, you take the remote.”

``````````

Before I took the old family car to college, my father loaded the trunk with soft-drink bottles filled with oil, coolant and transmission fluid. Sure enough, my car overheated. Scolding myself for not listening to my father’s instructions, I looked at the engine and saw how well he knew me. The oil cap was labeled Dr Pepper, the transmission stick, Coke, and the empty coolant container, Diet Pepsi. I finished the trip safely.

```````````

My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father’s Day and he had neglected to buy a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed to find only two cards left on a picked-over rack. Selecting one, he brought it home and, somewhat sheepishly, presented it to our father.

Upon opening it, Dad read this message: “You’ve been like a father to me.” He looked at Ryan, puzzled.

“Well, Dad,” Ryan tried to explain, “it was either that or the card that said, ‘Now that I’m a father too!’”

````````````

I gave my father $100 and said, “Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.” So he went out and bought a present for my mother.

````````

I got all my looks from my father. Especially the look of disappointment.

```````````

A neighbor finds a young boy sitting on the stairs crying. “What's the matter, honey?” she asks him.

“It's my father,” the boy says, sobbing. “He hit his finger with a hammer.”

“Then why are you crying?” she says.

“Because first I laughed!” he answers.

```````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


My kids never gave me a card with money in it. razz


I should be getting one from Uncle Sam soon though. I filed my tax return today. hamster


I plan on buying a box of tooth pics when I get it. joy


It's either that or pull all of my teeth out, and I prefer not to do that. wink


We are going to be 43 degrees here today, but 64 on Wednesday, and 69 on Thursday. penguin


Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1141489
02/12/18 10:32 PM
02/12/18 10:32 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, keep the teeth, buy the box of toothpicks! lol We are supposed to be above freezing soon too! Can't wait!

Gail, hope you are feeling better and the doc appt went well.

Have a happy day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1141493
02/13/18 12:10 AM
02/13/18 12:10 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Enjoy your toothpicks, Joe. lol

Glad you'll be above freezing soon, Ana! woot

Hope you feel better, Gail!

It's Monday night here. I'm off to sleep to prepare for a long work day tomorrow. crazy I had another great practice today, so I'm happy about that. smile

Hope everyone has a fantastic Tuesday. winter


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1141501
02/13/18 06:22 AM
02/13/18 06:22 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus and everyone. Joe I'm with Ana keep the teeth and buy the picks! grin Ana I hope it gets warmer for you today! Venus nice the voice lesson went well. Gail hope the doctor appt went well and you are feeling better. Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready.
Happy Day wished for everyone! wave


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1141505
02/13/18 08:12 AM
02/13/18 08:12 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super Tuesday. Ana, I will gladly send you some of our heat. It was 86 yesterday, I'm not ready to turn on the AC. Gail, I hope you are feeling better, and your doctor appointment went well. Dinner, Dancing, and Karaoke tonight at 8-8 Panda. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, French Toast, and Bacon in the NC. kitty


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1141553
02/13/18 01:56 PM
02/13/18 01:56 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
It's a beautiful day in Al. Keoki is out wandering around the yard...soaking a little sun here and a little sun there. I'm working on a little laundry, a little vacuuming, and a little taxes. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1141612
02/13/18 09:57 PM
02/13/18 09:57 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Tootin Toosday everybody laugh

Here's to hoping you had a wonderful day

And an even better evening thumbsup


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1141625
02/14/18 12:00 AM
02/14/18 12:00 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Nighty night...


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1141628
02/14/18 01:14 AM
02/14/18 01:14 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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