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#1143236 - 02/28/18 07:19 PM Happy Thump Day
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32190
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

~Maya Angelou~
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A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, the nurse said, "No change yet."

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The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from eating too much pi.

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Three doctors are out geese-hunting. A gaggle flies over and the oncologist raises and then lowers his gun. "I better conduct an MRI first to determine if those were really geese." Some more geese fly by & the endocrinologist raises his gun and then lowers it. "I'll need some bloodwork to conduct an A1C and determine what those birds were first." Some more geese fly over. The trauma doc raises his shotgun and blows them out of the sky. "What were those things, anyway?" he asks.

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I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

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Three guys are stranded on a remote island when a native appears out of nowhere and says, "I will grant you one weapon with which to kill yourself so I can make a boat out of your skins." The first guy wishes for a pistol, shoots himself, and dies. The second guy does the same, but the third guy wishes for a fork, stabs himself everywhere.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a pianist, who is only one foot tall, playing the piano. He talks to the bartender and says, "That's amazing! Where did you find a 12 inch pianist?" The bartender replies, "Oh, I have a genie in the back room who grants wishes. Give it a try if you want." The man goes to the genie and says, "Oh genie, I wish I had a 100 million bucks." The genie nods his head and a few seconds later there's a puff of smoke and 100 million ducks fly over the man's head. The man goes back to the bartender and complains, "I wished for 100 million bucks, not 100 million ducks!" And the bartender says, "Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"

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There was a man who sent ten different puns to friends, in hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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When I was single I had this old aunt that use to come up to me at family weddings and poke me in the ribs and say, "You’re next." She stopped after I did the same to her at a funeral.

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A wife saw her husband weight himself on the scale trying to pull in the stomach. The wife thought he was trying to reduce his weight on the scale. So she said, "You know, I don't think that will help you." The husband replies, "Of course it helps. It is the only way I can see the number on the scale."

```````

A teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his one to 10 well. "Yes! Of course! My pop taught me, even more than 10!" "Good. What comes after three?” "Four." "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. Now, what comes after, let's say 10?" "A jack."

```````````

A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious - Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --meat, toast, fish, vegtables, everything." "Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

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I’m on a whiskey diet. I have lost three days already.

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A guy riding on a motorcycle was wearing a tee-shirt. The back of his shirt says, "If you can read this my woman fell off."

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


More rain today in my neck of the woods. yes


I'm just happy it wasn't raining down my neck. rolleyes


The creeks are still at flood stage, so it's going to be a few more days till I can go, but I just might take a drive out to the sod farm and slosh around in the mud. yes


Maybe I'll get a few points stuck between my toes. grin


It's raining again. shocked


Not gonna complain about that. shame


Missy might though, although I did take her to the park today. thumbsup


Have a happy day everyone. yay


joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (02/28/18 07:25 PM)
_________________________
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

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#1143264 - 03/01/18 12:25 AM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 7724
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope you're able to go to the sod farm soon, Joe. smile

It's Wednesday night, and I'm off to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be my longest work day of the week, but I'm hoping it will feel short. lol

Have a great Thursday, everyone. winter
_________________________
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

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#1143273 - 03/01/18 05:42 AM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Online   happy
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22787
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, venus, Ana and everyone. Joe tomorrow we will be getting rain. They expect 3 to 4 inches before it turns to snow! Avery messy day tomorrow and with the winds gusting 40 to 50 miles per hour they expect we may lose power. Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready.
wave Wishing everyone a Happy Day! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#1143275 - 03/01/18 07:06 AM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10252
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great Day. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. wave2
_________________________
Connie

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#1143277 - 03/01/18 07:54 AM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 27714
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Good morning Joe Venus Gerry and Connie laugh

woot Friday Eve it is with the weekend just around the corner .. my favorite part of the week!

Good hunting Joe if you get the chance to get out and slosh around

I hope your day feels short too Venus

I hope you don't lose power Gerry .. we have rain here too, more in the afternoon I think as it's nice now just finished walking the dogs around the neighborhood ... see you in the Garden

Wishing you a happy day Connie...relax today and tonight

I'm off to work after I Garden a bit

Have a wonderful Thump Day everyone

I'll have a coffee and Danish to go please

wave2
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music

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#1143310 - 03/01/18 01:39 PM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47568
Loc: Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday ya'll puppy

Whew, rain finally got here and the temps went down a good 10 degrees. We are getting cooler air through the windows now. I no longer feel like I'm sitting in a sauna.

Bread just out of the oven, kitchen clean, dogs fed. Now I'm considering a nap so I'll energy for Bible Study tonight wavegirl
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#1143333 - 03/01/18 07:12 PM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 9560
Loc: San Diego, CA
So my credit union finally advised me as the status of my home equity line of credit application that I filed on January 31st. I was denied because of 'too much credit debt'. Ummmmm? That's the reason I wanted the line of credit in the first place, to pay down high interest credit debts. I guess you can't get a loan unless you don't need it. rotfl
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#1143348 - 03/01/18 11:45 PM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75349
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Sorta, unfortunately that's the norm. frown

Nighty night all!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#1143349 - 03/02/18 12:28 AM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 7724
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep
_________________________
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

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