Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
~Harriet Tubman~
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Funny QuipsIf a man said he’ll fix it, he’ll fix it. There is no need to nag him every 6 months about it.
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You look just like I feel...
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I’m pretty sure some people’s head is just a backup copy of their butt.
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What do I have in common with a Victoria’s Secret best model?
I’m hungry, too.
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1. Before you say something harsh about someone, try walking a mile in their shoes. It’s very convenient because even if you’re really rude, you’re a mile away AND you’ve got their shoes.
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F_art when someone hugs you. You’ll make them feel strong.
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I didn’t fall down. I did attack the floor though.
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How stupid are you?
a) very
b) A
c) B
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Funny that you can't spell "slaughter" without "laughter".
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We got divorced on the grounds of religious differences. My husband thought he was God.
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Money alone won’t make you happy. You’ve got to own it.
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A sound defense:
Crazy? Me? Nah - It was the voices that told me to do it.
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I speak fluent Ironic with a solid sarcastic accent.
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I used to think that you were a pain in the neck. My opinion of you has dropped significantly lower since then.
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Dogs have beloved masters. Cats have waiting staff.
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What to say to a person that gets on your nerves?
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"I think you deserve a standing ovation … of my longest finger!"
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I’ve been single for so many years I believe I will soon become an album.
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It is a truth universally acknowledged that your urge to pee intensifies as you are unlocking your door.
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Sorry, I can’t hang out. My auntie’s cousin’s brother in law’s best friend’s accountant’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Some other time maybe.
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I had loads to do today. Ah well, so now I have loads to do tomorrow.
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All my life I thought air was for free. That was until I bought a bag of crisps.
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Of course you're not fat. Just grab a couple of chairs and come sit with us.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend!
We had a super day here. Besides being a bit windy, we hit the 70s. What a day!
I had a good visit at the VA. No having to bend over, turn my head and cough. She was running behind, and in a hurry.
Although, I think my prostrate secretly missed the massage.
Saturday will also be in the 70s for us here, but we have rain chances, so I'm not sure what I'll be doing.
I wouldn't mind getting a bunch of rain though.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe