It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
~Buddha~
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Nobody hates Mondays. Just a lot of people hate their jobs.
Laughing at a fat guy at a gym is like laughing at an unemployed guy at a job fair.
I wonder what name my dog would choose for me. Wild animals live in a continuous state of poverty.
Running naked is awkward and it hurts to have your privates flapping about everywhere.
Is that the real reason why people invented underwear?
Maybe Batman fights crime only at nights because if he did it during the day, he’d get funny tan lines in the face?
I’m ready to bet that dinosaurs were similar to dogs. The huge ones were calm and relaxed while the small ones were the yappy, snappy little twits.
Every day, some unsuspecting person does the biggest poop on Earth for that day.
Why don’t drivers’ licenses show blood types?
Is the salary that I get a bribe to forget my dreams?
Our stomachs believe all potatoes are mashed potatoes.
Does my dog take me for a hypocrite because I poop in the house?
The person who proofread Hitler’s speeches was the first grammar Nazi.
The outer Space is really just an hour away if my Toyota could make it straight up.
How come caretaker and caregiver describe the same person?!
When you say somebody is one in a million, then taking into account the current human population, you’re really saying there are 7 500 people exactly like him.
Being an actual wealthy Nigerian with legitimate overseas interests must suck.
There should seriously be a button on every TV that would make the remote peep.
If I would call my cat “Meow”, I can boast to my friends that it can introduce itself.
It would be good if toothpaste producers would make the tubes transparent; squeezing out the remaining toothpaste would be much more efficient.
When you rob a bank, you can stop worrying about rent/food bills for several years – regardless of whether you get caught or not.
Chances are, good looking nurses and doctors never get accurate blood pressure level readings from their patients of the opposite gender.
A spider builds its home from its body products. If a human wanted to achieve the same, they’d literally have to s**t bricks.
It’s actually awesome how my body can take a hamburger and fries and turn it into more of my body.
In a hospital, you can find people experiencing the worst, the happiest, the first or the last day of their lives.
The next generation kids will be able to look up their parents on the internet and see their whole lives documented, no excuses.
Tissues in a box should have different colors so you’d be warned that you’re approaching the last tissue.
You know how you pull the smartphone out of your pocket to check the time? We’re really going back to the era of pocket watches.
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Good morning everyboomie.
How are you guys doing this fine day?
We had a nuther day with the heavy clouds and rain, only not so much rain. I think most of it fell last night,
Thursday we'll start to dry out some and Friday will be sunny all day, but we still have rain in our forecast for the next two weeks.
It's a good thing Friday will be sunny, because I'll be helping Beau's owner move all day.
I'll probably forego my exercises for Friday.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Glad you have a dog at the house to keep you company. 
Enjoy your day everyone! 
