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Happy TGIF Day #1147367
04/05/18 08:47 PM
04/05/18 08:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Fun is one of the most important - and underrated - ingredients in any successful venture. If you're not having fun, then it's probably time to call it quits and try something else.

~Richard Branson~
`````````````````


An elderly man was on the operating table awaiting surgery to be performed by his son, a renowned surgeon. Just before they would put him under, he asked to speak to his son: "Don’t be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me… your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife."

````````````

A man has usually no idea how often he normally f*arts. That is, until he spends 24 hours with a girl he likes.

```````````

The view of a female cleavage reduces the concentration of a male by 50% (per breast).

```````

A fat guy and a thin guy meet:

Fat guy: “When I see you, I’d think a famine broke out!”

Thin guy: “And when I see you, I’d think you’re the one responsible for that!”

``````````

Most of the time, when you cry, nobody notices the tears you shed. Most of the time, when you're facing trouble, nobody feels your pain. But try f*arting in public just one time!

```````````

Today I ran from a ticket inspector. He chased me through half the train. When he finally caught me, he wasn’t very amused to find that I actually do have the ticket.

```````

Stalking: When two people enjoy long romantic walks together, but just one of them is aware of this fact.

```````````

“Waiter, could you bring me some tooth picks, please?”

“I’m sorry sir but you’ll have to wait a little bit, they are currently all in use.”

`````````

Petra comes back from the bathroom in a café where she was sitting with her friend Nicole.

Nicole says, “Listen, I think your electric toothbrush must have switched itself on in your handbag.”

Petra replies, “But I don’t have an electric t… Oh yeah, that darned toothbrush!”

````````

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.

````````

At a job interview:

“Mrs Lober, what do you consider your greatest weakness?”

“Honesty.”

“Really? I don’t believe that is a weakness at all.”

“And I don’t give a rat’s f*art about your stupid opinion!”

```````

Why haven’t there been any shark attacks on lawyers?
Professional courtesy.

`````````

My boss told me yesterday, “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want”. But when I turned up at the office today in Ghostbusters gear, the SOB fired me.

`````````

The Queen takes the visiting pope for a ride in a carriage through London.

Suddenly one of the horses farts very loudly. “I am terribly sorry,” apologizes the embarrassed Queen.

The pope replies, “Oh don’t worry, if you hadn’t said anything, I’d just think it was the horse!”

```````

A woman is at a doctor after her husband’s check-up.

The doctor looks serious and says, “Mrs Connelly, your husband is very sick. He needs to rest and not get upset. I will prescribe you some sleeping pills.”

“Ok,” nods Mrs Connelly, “and how often should he take those?”

“Oh, they’re not for him, Mrs Connelly, they’re for you.”

```````````

Little Johnny once bought his Grandma a very nice, luxurious toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a couple of weeks later, it wasn't in the bathroom.

Little Johnny asked his Grandma, “Gran, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?”

“Darling, I'm sorry but I just didn’t like it. It was too scratchy. After all those years, I’ve gotten used to the toilet paper.”

```````

A man to a psychiatrist: “How do you select who should be admitted to your facility?”

The psychiatrist replies: “We fill a bathtub with water and give the person a spoon, a cup and a bucket. Then we ask that person to empty the bathtub.”

The man smiles: “Ah, I understand, if you are sane you would take the bucket.”

The Psychiatrist replies: “No, a sane guy pulls the plug. Do you want a room with or without a balcony?”

```````

I got a really cute dog and called him Threemiles. It sounds great to say I walk Threemiles twice a day.

`````````

Two planets meet. One moans to the other: “Can you believe it, I’ve got humans!”

The other cheers her up: “Don’t worry, it will pass soon.”

``````````

When a guy says he likes girls with a sense of humor, he doesn't mean that he wants a girl to be really witty and funny. He means he wants her to laugh at his jokes.

``````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Mr Soot, thank you for contacting our help center. We pride ourself in our fast, courteous, confusing customer service. However, I'm not sure what you think I said corresponds with what I think I was talking about. If you wouldn't mind submitting your question again, I wouldn't mind sleeping on it, and getting back to you around the 32nd of this month. thumbsup


We had a great day here after the clouds cleared out and it warmed up. hamster


I decided to go to the creek this afternoon. happydance


I left about 1:00, and I had a real good feeling about it. penguin


I came home at about 4:00 with a bunch of bad feelings, in my feet, ankles, leg muscles, lower back, and some other places. razz


Really tired too. tired


Not 1 stinking point. blech


We have 80% chance for rain tonight, and 90% chance tomorrow. yay


We'll probably be in the 20% tonight, and the 10% tomorrow.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 04/05/18 08:50 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Happy TGIF Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1147369
04/05/18 09:10 PM
04/05/18 09:10 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Dear www.Joe'sDinerInc., In theory, one day we could meet and I could ask you questions directly then but I really like this venue where I can direct my questions to the corporate office which decides what changes to make when shipping supplies and other materials to customers which are sometime used to check see if anyone remembers the proper sequence for starting a new project if you always want to make sure that you have all the materials then you can really make a difference on how you tackle half backs versus tackling a full back a long time ago when most things were made by hand today when yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life then what will tomorrow morning bring is usually the first question and the best time to approach a new task master can be difficult to work with someone else especially if they speak another language...Sincerely, Soot

Sorry about no points Joe...next time!!!!

Ana...back to normal will be good for you...how long will normal last?

Venus...woot enjoy your 3-day weekend!

Hi Gerry...I'll need two cups of coffe to go today please

Connie...I'd like a open-face danish bacon and egg sandwhich to go please

L4L flowers

Whoa, can't believe it's Friday already but am glad it is as have the day off tomorrow (grin, I had to look at my watch to make sure it was Friday)

TGIF everybody wave


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Happy TGIF Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1147373
04/05/18 09:55 PM
04/05/18 09:55 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Joe and all! Joe, glad you got out even if you didn't find anything! Fresh air is always good!

soot, so far no extended morning till bedtime visits till Memorial Day week. I just want to sleep till 7am. That is all I want. LOL
Any fun plans for the weekend?

Have a happy day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy TGIF Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1147387
04/06/18 12:34 AM
04/06/18 12:34 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Joe, I like that you pride yourself on your confusing customer service. lol Sorry you didn't find anything. Hope things go better next time!

Thanks, soot! happydance Enjoy your day off tomorrow! Do you have a 3 day weekend as well? Your letter made perfect sense to me. lol

Hope you are able to sleep until 7 am soon, Ana! Glad you'll finally be getting a break! thumbsup

It's Thursday night, and I'm off to sleep. We have maintenance people coming in tomorrow at around 10 am to resume work on the bathroom tiles. They were here today as well, but I was at work, so they had to deal with Thorsgoats. grin I kind of hope they finish by 12, as I want to watch the stream for The Walking Dead Season 4 game. grin I saw an announcement Telltale made a few days ago that they would be showing off the new game, and I would like to catch it live it possible. If not, hopefully the stream will be recorded, and I can watch it later. smile

Okay, off to sleep. Have a terrific Friday, everyone. spring


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Happy TGIF Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1147388
04/06/18 02:32 AM
04/06/18 02:32 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Taintedfury Offline
Addicted Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Hi Joe ghost busters are cool! bravo

Hello Ana, Soot & Venus spring

Hope everyone has a wonderful day or good night sleep and keep smiling:) :wave



penguin

Last edited by Taintedfury; 04/06/18 02:33 AM.
Re: Happy TGIF Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1147395
04/06/18 05:59 AM
04/06/18 05:59 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, soot, Ana, venus, Taintedfury and everyone. Joe better rain then snow! wave Soot 2 cups to go for you! lab Ana enjoy your day. yes Venus Happy Day off Friday! thumbsup Taintedfury have a wonderful day too. bunny Coffee and tea are ready.
Wishing everyone a peaceful Friday! spring


Gerry
Re: Happy TGIF Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1147402
04/06/18 07:34 AM
04/06/18 07:34 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great TGIF. Dinner at Rookie's, then Karaoke at the VFW. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Happy TGIF Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1147440
04/06/18 12:39 PM
04/06/18 12:39 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
LOVE The Walking Dead and Fear the Walking Dead. Quite an 'escape' from my normal life. Then again, in my neighborhood, maybe it's just more of the same. haha

The PLAN here for me and all my best buddies is when the Apocalypse hits, we all rush and meet at our local Costco (only 4 blocks from here), barricade ourselves in, and wait it out. It has everything we could possibly need to wait out the Zombie attacks and to protect us from the other guys who might want to harm us. Good plan huh? zombie


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Happy TGIF Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1147450
04/06/18 02:05 PM
04/06/18 02:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

Back from walking all the dogs. Took Keoki to the park. It was so nice out I came home and grabbed the other 3 and took them around our neighborhood. That one had to be short though. Seagy was a bit draggy on the hills. Might be time to move her walks to the park with Keoki.

Then time to feed everyone, including me. Now it's finally time to sip and surf a bit before the kids get here. wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Happy TGIF Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1147497
04/07/18 12:25 AM
04/07/18 12:25 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Happy TGIF Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1147507
04/07/18 04:52 AM
04/07/18 04:52 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Taintedfury Offline
Addicted Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Hi Kaki's Sister grin , Venus, Connie, Sorta Blonde and Looney spring

Love the coffee taz

I love watching The Walking Dead too great show.. thumbsup

Good Day/Night and Keep smiling Boomers cya.. penguin

Last edited by Taintedfury; 04/07/18 04:56 AM.
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