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Monday's #1147692
04/08/18 08:15 PM
04/08/18 08:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Keeping an active mind has been vital to my survival, as has been maintaining a sense of humor.

~Stephen Hawking~
`````````````````



You stole my Microsoft Office and for that you’re going to pay.
-
You have my Word!

```````````

Web site log in: Sorry, your password 257EeffQ@# is not secure enough.
-
Cash machine login 1234: Here’s your 1000 dollars.

`````````

When I greeted my boss in the morning, he told me to have a good day.

Who am I to argue? So I thanked him and went back home.

``````

I’m already doing 60 in a 30 mph zone and still that guy is sticking to me. And now he’s blinding me with these blinking blue & red lights. The world is full of psychos!

``````

Not every badly unkempt guy is homeless. It could well be that he lives with 3 females and only 1 bathroom.

`````````

A German, an American and a Russian walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them suspiciously and says, “Is this some kind of a joke?”

`````````

Waiter? I’m sorry, but I cannot eat all this. Would you be so kind and pack it for me? To take away?
-
But sir, this is a buffet.
-
Pack it up I said!“

`````````

I wish I could go to the Maldives again.”

“Wow, you’ve been to the Maldives?”

“No, but I wished it before, and now I'm wishing it again.”

``````

I saw a poster today, somebody was asking “Have you seen my cat?” So I called the number and said that I didn’t. - I like to help where I can.

``````

I just like to sleep naked........but that air-hostess could have been a bit more understanding.

````````

Woman to her husband while going at it: "Please say dirty things to me!"

Man: "Bathroom, Kitchen, Living room..."

``````````

My son wanted to know what it's like to be married. I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.

```````

I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday, having had my spine and both testicles removed. Still, some of the wedding gifts were prettycool.

``````

My wife told me she needs more space. I said no problem and locked her out of
the house.

`````````

My wife and I have been married for quite a few years and my wife asked me recently to get some pills that would make sure I’d be up to some action in the bedroom again.

I brought home diet pills. Apparently not what she meant.

``````

What to give a man who’s got everything? A woman. She’ll tell him how everything works.

```````````

I tried to re-marry my ex-wife.
-
But she figured out I was only after my money.

````````

A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.

His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?

“Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age. I told her I was 89."

```````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


It is Monday April 9th. Exactly one week until tax returns have to be filed. rolleyes


Does everyone have your returns filed yet? happydance


I got my refund weeks ago. penguin


I bought a half tank of gas with it. razz


I'm thinking about going back to work, so that I can pay more taxes, so that I can get a bigger refund. snicker


Wishing you all a happy day, and many happy returns. thumbsup


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 04/08/18 09:03 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147705
04/08/18 09:32 PM
04/08/18 09:32 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
lol Joe! I consider any tax refund a bonus. nothing worse than owing the IRS.

Finally back to my "Normal" Full days! no more getting up at 5ish! joy I do have to meet a new client at 7pm but other than that it's normal routine. Oh happy days!!!

Have a great day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147717
04/09/18 12:38 AM
04/09/18 12:38 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a great Monday Joe, Ana and all who follow. wave

I managed to play Pillars of the Earth today after practicing, lost track of time and ended up staying up way too late. eek lol I'm (rushing) off to sleep for another day of work tomorrow. woozy

Have a great Monday, everyone. spring


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Monday's [Re: venus] #1147720
04/09/18 02:19 AM
04/09/18 02:19 AM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
HI YA Joe, Ana & Venus wave2

have a wonderful Monday Boomers hug Karen chocobunny


"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147724
04/09/18 05:59 AM
04/09/18 05:59 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning oe, Ana, venus, Karen and everyone. Joe my taxes are filedbut no refund. Ana nice you are back to your regular schedule. Venus enjoy your Monday. Karen a special birthday cake for you in the naughty corner! Coffee and tea are ready.
chocobunny Wishing everyone a great day! chocobunny


Gerry
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147729
04/09/18 06:59 AM
04/09/18 06:59 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Good morning Joe Ana Venus Karen Gerry and the rest of the gang when you get the chance to pop in...

woot Ana...I'll get back to normal days next week

I'll have a coffee to go Gerry

I'm off and will see you all later today

hearts L4L

wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147732
04/09/18 07:14 AM
04/09/18 07:14 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Monday. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147753
04/09/18 10:55 AM
04/09/18 10:55 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

Grey and rainy here today. I'm heading out to do some errands. Time to renew tags and mail MIL's taxes. I used to renew online, but stopped after there was a snafu. I did it, had the print out, but the stickers never came. Had to go do it in person and pay again, and of course, since it was "late", had to pay a penalty. Now I just stick to in-person.There is a satellite office in my little town so it's pretty painless.

Daughter said little Leo has the croup. I thought he might after talking with her on Sat. Such a scary sounding cough with that.

Ana, luck with the new client.

Hope the sleep you got was wonderful, Venus.

Doc, so good to see you wave

Gerry, have a great day.

Soot kissy

Connie, are you guys getting this rain too?

Back later wavegirl



Last edited by looney4labs; 04/09/18 10:55 AM.

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147786
04/09/18 06:02 PM
04/09/18 06:02 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Can't tell you how good it is to be back to my normal schedule! It made the snow that fell all night much more bearable!

Hope you all enjoyed your day!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147797
04/09/18 07:58 PM
04/09/18 07:58 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
It was a lovely day here again. 70's although they predicted 80's. Glorious Spring weather. Birds chirping, feral female cat I can't catch, had kittens yesterday. Ugh! At least 2 little meows were heard, maybe 3. Won't know if any survive until a few weeks from now when mom will move them. I'm still trying to figure out how to catch and spay her. No luck in all this time. Darn. Having evil thoughts. Forgive me feral mom for hoping you just move away to someone else's yard. cry


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147800
04/09/18 08:55 PM
04/09/18 08:55 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Sorta, it'd be great if you could catch mom.

I'm off to bed. Sweet dreams sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147805
04/09/18 10:11 PM
04/09/18 10:11 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Whew...long day...but knew it was coming yes

Time to call it quits..see you all tomorrow

sleep


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147814
04/09/18 11:11 PM
04/09/18 11:11 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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