Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
~Mahatma Gandhi~
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I made cookies for you. It is an apology because I crashed your car.
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YOU DID WHAT?!
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Cookies. I made cookies for you.
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Tom and Anna are both 60 years old and have been married for 40 years.
One day they go for a walk and all of a sudden a good fairy stands in front of them and says, “You’ve been married for so long and you’re so cute together, I’ll grant you a wish each.”
The woman is beside herself with joy and wishes for a trip to Thailand. Poof – she’s holding two tickets to Thailand and a five star hotel voucher for two.
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The man says, “Wow, that’s one chance in a lifetime! I’m sorry, darling, but I wish I had a wife that’s 30 years younger than me.”
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“Are you sure?” asks the fairy.
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“Yes!” replies Tom without hesitation.
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Poof once more – and he instantly aged 30 years.
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A boy is sitting on a bus and eating one piece of chocolate after the other. A man sits down next to him and says: “Eating so much chocolate is not healthy for you boy.”
The boy replies: “My grandfather died when he was 112 years old.”
The man asks: “You think he became so old because he was eating lots of chocolate?”
The boy answers: “He became so old because he minded his own business.”
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Funny, those road signs: "Caution - Watch for children!" I mean, how dangerous can a child be?
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A guy walks into a bar and says urgently to the bartender, "Give me a beer before trouble starts!" He drinks his beer and orders another, again saying, "Give me a beer before trouble starts!" The bartender is confused but lets it go for another two beers, when he finally asks, "Hey man, when are you gonna pay for those beers?" The guy answers, "And now the trouble starts!
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Three guys are flying over a desert in a hot air balloon. They see a man below and yell at him, “Do you know where we are?”
The man thinks about it for a long time and when they’re nearly out of earshot, yells after them, “You’re in a balloon.”
“That was a mathematician,” says one of the aviators. “Why?” asks another. „Because it took him a hell of a long time, the answer is perfectly correct, and yet its practical value is zero.”
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“Oh no, Roger, why did you two split up?”
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“She’s a liar and a cheat! She said she was at her sister’s for the whole night!”
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“So? Maybe she was.”
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“Yeah, no way. I was at her sister’s all night.”
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"Granny, why do you read obituaries every day?
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Don't worry grandson. I just want to see who is single again.
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A drunk guy stumbles into a bar and says, „Those to my left you are all jerks. Those to my right, you are all idiots!“
A tall, muscular guy slowly stands up, puts on his cowboy hat and quietly says to the guy, “Well, I don’t think I’m an idiot at all.”
“Alright,” agrees the guy, “you can move to the left side.”
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I was told a glass of Nutella has about 9870 calories, which is why I never eat the glass.
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I found my wife hanging from a rope in the attic.
There was a note saying, "I really can't stand your criticsm any longer!"
I quickly cut the rope and reanimated her. Thankfully I could bring her back to life.
As she lay in my arms I could see her eyes slowly open and I said, "You misspelled criticism."
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Good Sunday morning everyboomie.
I was doing some gaming for the first time in about 4 months, and I almost forgot to post the diner.
Talk about a relapse! We were at 32 degrees at 8 this morning, and at 10, and at 12, and at 1. I quit looking after that. we were supposed to warm up to 45 degrees at some point, and I guess maybe we did, but the wind was blowing about 21mph, so I don't think it ever felt any warmer than 32 anyway.
We're supposed to warm back up to the 50s for Sunday.
I plan on laying out and getting some sunshine.
I won't need as much sun block when it's 52 degrees.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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Karen!
