Life is all memory, except for the one present moment that goes by you so quickly you hardly catch it going.

~Tennessee Williams~
````````````````````


Man to a butcher: "I'd like bull's testicles."

Butcher: "So would I"

````````

Girl: So, how many times a day do you shave?

Man: Well, about 15-20 times every day.

Girl: My god, are you some kind of crazy?

Man: No, I’m a barber.

```````

What’s black, red, black, red, black, red?
-
A zebra with a sun burn.

````````

“I am a master of fast calculations.”
-
“OK, what is 758 time 642 divided by 5?”
-
“22!”
-
“Ha ha, that’s wrong!”
-
“Might be, but it was fast!”

``````

What is green and sits crying in the corner?

The incredible Sulk.

```````

Why are pigs not allowed to ride bikes?

Because they lack the thumbs to ring the bell.

`````

What has four legs, one foot and one head?
-
A bed.

``````

At work:

Excuse me, may I disturb you shortly?
-
Of course, what is it?
-
Nothing, I just wanted to disturb you.

```````````

Where do we get virgin wool from? Ugly sheep.

```````

What is white and sits on your TV?

A fly wearing a nightie.

`````````

Andy has 150 candy bars. He eats 125. What does Andy have now?

Andy has diabetes now.

`````

It has four legs and it can fly, what is it?
-
Two birds.

```````

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?

Michael: The good news.

Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

--

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?

Michael: The bad news.

Paul: The bad news is that I have no good news.

```````

Whenever I’m sad I just read my blood donor ID. It always says “B
positive”.

`````

What did the cowboy say to the cow that stood on the barn roof?
-
Get down, cow!

````````

What is yellow and cannot swim?
-
An excavator!
-
And why?
-
Because it only has one arm.

```````

What is the tallest piece of furniture?
-

The bookcase. It’s got the most stories.

````````

Last words of a highly poisonous snake?

"Drat, I just bit my tongue!"

`````````

Q: What is blue and smells like red paint?
-
A: Blue paint.

```````

Why are you giving me an apricot?
-
I heard there’s no way you can get a date.

```````

Why do cows wear bells?

Their horns don’t work.

```````

A crying son runs to his mom: “Mom, mom, (sniff), Grandpa slapped me in the face.”
-
Grandpa approaches: “Stop lying or I’ll do it again!”

```````

Helium walks into a bar and orders water. Bartender apologizes, "Sorry sir but we're currently out of water." What does Helium do? It doesn't react.

``````

What is the most squeaky clean breed of dog?
-
The Maine Shampoodle!

````````

Good morning everyboomie.


I don't know whether those are the funniest dumb jokes, or the dumbest funny jokes, but I know they're dumb and funny, and I hope you like them as much as I do.


If you do then I'll like them as much as you do.


At any rate I hope you do, because there will be more tomorrow.


If you're like me then these will be a very distant memory by then. Some of them already are.


Whut??


Oh yeah. Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Happy Wednesday everyone

Now could someone please put in a request for spring to actually strart? Friday we had thunderstorms and a 1/2 of hail, yes, hail. That was then covered with 3" of ice and sleet, which was eventually covered by 18" of snow by Sunday - My snow-thrower was not a happy machine. Now, we have another 2-3 inches predicted. I'm waiting for the frogs and locusts next!

Joe, Have an awesome day!

Trail, I just posted a plea on FaceBook to help the Wisconsin birds. My backyard wildlife costs me a fortune to feed every month, but I can't imagine my life without seeing them when I look out the window. Here is the article I posted. You guys really got buried!

Have a happy day all!

Ana

Have a great day Joe, Trail_Mystic, Ana and all who follow.

Just a quick post tonight, as I'm late getting to bed, and I have another 5 am wake up tomorrow morning.

Have a great Wednesday, everyone.

Good Morning Joe, Trail, Ana, venus and all. Joe I love your funnies! Trail I hear ya! We are still waiting for Spring too! Ana even with the cold here the birds are back and building their nests in the curve of the gutter in the back of our home as they do every year. Venus I hope your day is not to stressful.
Coffee and tea are ready.
Wishing everyone a peaceful day!

Good morning everyone, have a Great Hump Day. Queen of Hearts at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC.

Gerry, that's the problem! The birds are all back here too in the MIdwest but they are dying because of the cold and lack of food. Spring is not here yet. The trees are still bare and other than a couple normal early spring sprouts, there is nothing here.

Venus, have a great day!

Connie, enjoy your night out!

Hi ho, hi ho...it's off to work in freezing rain and snow today.

Warm, sunny, lots of new tumbleweed sprouting up. I'm on the attack. Only problem is when I walk down the 200 feet to the back empty lot, I am followed by MOST of the feral cats, who then run and play and try to trip me (really) and it's quite a chore. Then they slip into the backyards of the neighbors on the other street and I have to hope they all come back in one piece. No telling if the neighbors know they are my ferals, or just some cat in their yard. The kitties aren't really friendly so they won't go up to anyone, they just run. BUT one of the 'gals' who seldom comes for food, I think is eating somewhere else. A friend of mine on a side street (back yards accessible) might be sharing one of MY ferals with me. Ohhhhh! She says it's friendly to them, lets them pet her, comes inside the garage, meows a LOT. Yeah, sounds like the one I named, Shadow. I only see her every day or so, but she's always down back when I call and she comes. Gotta ask my friend. Ha. She has 7 ferals of her own.

3 kittens are still in the century plants near the sidewalk. I can hear the loudest. Mom didn't come for breakfast, but then neither did most of the others. Must have been a good night for catching mice or birds. They just don't seem hungry. Maybe later. I'm pretty sure mom is still with the kittens but I worry when she isn't front and center for food.

Wonderful Wednesday ya'll

It's a beautiful day in AL. I hope some of our warmth finds most of ya'll soon.

I have to get out the door soon to take the babies to the vet for their check ups. Depending on the time we get back, I'll might get the seniors to the park for a walk, or I might just collapse.

Hey Ana, yep we are definitely wild life supporters and are keeping our boxes and suet containers full until things start sprouting. I even throw nuts and veggie scraps out for the squirrels and rabbits. Some of the squirrels out here are really young, so I try to help them out a bit. Some folks call them tree rats, but the ones around here provide endless entertainment with their antics and knock on wood haven't caused any havoc in our attic. When it's a nice spring or summer day, it's not unusual to see robins playing with the squirrels and rabbits, and I do mean playing. The basically play chase and tag, then sit around on the lawn together chilling out. It's like living in a Walt Disney movie

That was really nice of you to post that article, thank you.

TM

Trail, I love squirrels! I give them peanuts and corn cobs and of course they eat the bird suet and seeds too! Here is a photo of some of my wildlife getting along outside my window. Bunny and ducks

I can't imagine life without seeing them come visit. Thank you for feeding them too!

Hey Ho Everyone

What day is it Mike?

What?

Hump Day!! And for all practical purposes the day is at end now that I'm at home

We have up to 10 squirrels at a time feeding on our back porch when I put out the food...they are fun to watch; they don't share nicely with the cardinals, chick-a-dees, sparrows, blackbirds, doves or pigeons. Bought a special bird feeder the squirrels can't get into for the birds. Won't be long before the hummingbirds are back; we've had a lone hummingbird stop by on occasion these past weeks...in and out quick

Wishing everyone a special and quiet evening

Nice duckies Ana

We're getting walloped again here. I'm laughing at the forecast page, for our area. They still have "accumulation of 1-2" listed. Between the time that I got home at about 4:30pm and now (7:15pm) we've got about 4 additional inches on the ground and it's still coming down strong. The strongest band of the front is running right through our area. Watching the radar loop, it's hard to tell if the storm is diminishing or flattening out because it's pulling in moisture from Lake Mich. The commute into work is going to be another interesting one tomorrow.

Here's our backyard about 20 minutes ago: https://www.dropbox.com/s/pj3anqfgqpmhpr3/Back%20Yard.jpg?dl=0

Don't you just love when the forecasters can't get it right even when its happening? You sure have a winter wonderland, TRail! It's pretty much an ice/sleet storm here right now. It's accumulating the last hour. THankfully, 40's tomorrow (supposedly) so it should be melting.

soot, back to normal for you at work now? The squirrels are crafty little buggers! It's hard hiding stuff from them! But they are such fun.

Good night, everyone.