The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'
~Robin Williams~
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What do you call a sheep without legs?
A cloud.
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Did you know that UPS and Fedex are going into a merger? They will be called Fed-Ups now.
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I went to choir practice. My dad told me not to forget a bucket. I asked why. Dad said, “You’ll need something to carry your tune in.”
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Have you heard there was a kidnapping at the school?
[NO]
It's ok now, the teacher woke him up.
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“Can you put the cat out, please?”
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“IT'S ON FIRE???”````````
Dad to his daughter: "Never forget, sweetie, you are unique, just like everyone else."
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Two cows meet, one says, "Mooooo!"
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The other one is offended, "Hey, I was going to say that!"
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Do you know how to make somebody curious?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
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I was a doctor for a while but then I quit. I didn’t have the patience for it.
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Son: “Am I adopted?”
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Dad: “Not yet, it seems nobody is interested.“
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Do you know where you can learn to make the best ice cream?
At Sunday school.
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They’ve opened a new shop recently, and it has everything. It’s called Moderation.
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Vegetarian is an old Indian word. Originally, it means “a bad hunter”.
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How many pears grow on a tree? They all do.
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What do you call an egg that doesn’t believe in Santa Claus but agrees there is some magic in Christmas?
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Eggnostic.
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I met Bruce Lee’s vegetarian brother today.
His name is Brocko Lee.
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Why can’t fish cry?
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Because they don’t have eyebrows.
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Why are the North Koreans the best at geometry?
Because they’ve got a Supreme Ruler.
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Why didn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
He met with too many cracks on the way.
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What tea is it not a good idea to drink?
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TNT.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Those dad jokes are so bad...........I love 'em!
I could not have had a nicer day to go out to the sod farm.
Beautiful sunshine. Not a cloud in the sky. Nice temperature with just a light breeze.
I started out looking in an area I hadn't looked before, and I found four points. The were all very rough damaged points but I'm not complaining.
I found this nice little tip, and I stuck it in my pocket. Five minutes later I found a base half point, and I pulled the tip out of my pocket and found they were mates. I've glued them back together.
I spent the rest of the day walking over the area I had covered the last time I was there, and I found two morw points.
I also found a scraper and some other pieces.
All in all a pretty good day.
We're going up into the 80s for Tuesday.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Lately we are other way over or way under, so appropriate is a good thing. 
