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Happy Thump Day #1149307
04/25/18 09:23 PM
04/25/18 09:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut.
-
~Albert Einstein~
`````````````````

Politically, Literally, Indescribably, Unabashedly, Wickedly, Wonderfully Incorrect Jokes



A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken.

The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, “Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die...”

```````

They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

`````

I took my wife’s family out for biscuits and tea.

They weren’t very happy about having to donate blood though.

````````

Why did Lisa fall of the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Well, not Lisa, obviously.

``````````

Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!

`````````

“I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years.”

“Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!”

“No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him.”

``````

My Grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Atlanta Zoo.

````````

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.

````````

What did the man with no hands get for Christmas?
-
No idea. He hasn’t opened his presents yet.

```````

A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide.

“I’m sorry sir, but I can’t give you cyanide just like that.”

Without a word, the man takes out his wife’s photograph and holds it in front of him.

The pharmacist apologizes, “My mistake, I didn’t realize you had a prescription.”

``````

I want a divorce!
-
But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part.
-
I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you.

````````

Doctor: And how is it going with your old ailment, Mr Smith?

Patient: Very well, I’ve been divorced for half a year now.

```````

A lady tells the nurse at a maternity hospital, “I want to call my little baby Ellie.”

Nurse replies, “I’m sorry, but that name is already taken, perhaps you can consider naming her Ellie532 or Ellie_153?”

````````

My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her.

It may come across as judgmental, but really, I’ve only ever known and loved her as Christine.

`````

Daddy, there is a man at the door. He says he is collecting for the nursing home.
-
That's perfect. Tell him grandpa is coming in a moment.

``````````

Good morning everyboomie. yay


I'm actually happy to see Mr Sun again today after a long pissy day yesterday that I had to sit around the house all day. I mean we could use the rain alright, but we really didn't get that much anyway. rolleyes


I got my seats recovered okay, but I left it there at 8:00am, and didn't get it back until after 6:00pm, so I didn't get to drive around digging my new leather seats for very long. razz


They look pretty awesome. woot


I think that's probably what I'll do all day today, just drive around digging my new seats, and picking up strangers just to say hey how do you like the seats? snicker


Hmmm, maybe I'll go to work for Uber or Lyft. think


Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 04/25/18 09:25 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1149313
04/25/18 09:41 PM
04/25/18 09:41 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
Hey Joe...hmmmm, an uber day to show off you new seat covers might be fun at that yes

Ana...is the 50s a warm day for you this time of year? I am thinking maybe yes...for sure for Nome Alaska today. No, hadn't heard of the new drive through Alabama Safari Park...looks like it just opened weeks ago and looks like fun...we will definitely check it out.

Venus...work couldn't be better, I'm back to normal hours with more than enough work to keep me occupied for the next 24 to 27 years. Hope you 5 store adventure was shorter yes

Good morning Gerry and Connie...I'll have a cuppa tea, some french toast and grits this morning please

SortaB, I am hoping it's all quiet on the Western Front in your neighborhood...peace and quiet are good

L4L hearts

Have a great Thump Day TrailMystic, Mary, TaintedFury, My10RR and the rest of the Diner gang!

wave


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1149321
04/25/18 11:06 PM
04/25/18 11:06 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, I almost became an Uber driver before I started dog walking. It's not a bad way to earn some money!
Glad you got your seats done. Are you happy with them?

soot, that place looks cool! I bet the kids would love it.

Have a great day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1149328
04/25/18 11:33 PM
04/25/18 11:33 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Glad you got your seat covers finished, Joe. thumbsup

Glad to hear you're back to normal hours, soot. thumbsup My 5 store adventure was shorter, thanks. smile I have 5 stores again tomorrow, so I'm hoping there will be a "repeat performance" in that regard. grin

Have a great day with the dogs, Ana. puppy

It's Wednesday night, and I'm off to sleep. I have 5 stores to go to again, but except for one potentially complicated project, everything should go relatively smoothly.

Have a great Thursday, everyone. spring


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1149339
04/26/18 04:46 AM
04/26/18 04:46 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Online happy
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Online Happy
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, soot, venus and all. Nice you got the seats covered Joe! Ana enjoy your day. Soot we are finally getting warm weather. It will be in the 60s today. Venus wishing you another shorter work day! Coffee and tea are ready.
Wishing you all a Happy Day! spring


Gerry
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1149343
04/26/18 07:27 AM
04/26/18 07:27 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super Thursday. Ana, that zoo looks amazing. I wish I lived closer. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1149358
04/26/18 10:59 AM
04/26/18 10:59 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday ya'll puppy

Ahhhhh, nothing like spending an hour restarting your computer to start your morning rotfl

Have to say a quick "hello" while I'm still able to.

Ana, that safari park looks fun. we shall have to get the g'kids out there. Thanks.

Joe, glad you love the new seats. How did you find the guys to install them?

Soot kissy

Venus, hope the day is quick and uncomplicated.

Gerry, have a great day.

Connie, I'm heading for the hashbrowns. Have a wonderful day wave

Off to get some breakfast and see what the folks in Downton are up to

wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1149383
04/26/18 01:06 PM
04/26/18 01:06 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Happy Thursday. Fun day. Neighbor friend who got divorced from the abusive hubby called EARLY to let me know her ex had texted her a million times through the night and finally left a voicemail message saying he was now ENGAGED (to the really horribly nasty girlfriend) and then proceeded to say the usual nasty things to my friend. Can't imagine what he thinks this will accomplish except to make him look even more stupid than he is. Hope he enjoys being married to the new gal. Neither one is working now, they will have to move very soon (as the house is being sold) and maybe the neighborhood will be a nicer place without their constant fights and the gal prancing around in her short short short skirts and flirting with all the men on the block. Very fun to watch all the drooling guys. rotfl

One of the Outdoorsies is unhappy with the current food choices. I ran out of slurpy canned food and fed them only pate and dry food for the past 2 days. This morning, after I fed everyone, I went out to find the pate eaten, the dry food untouched AND perched on top of the dry food dish was one of the cloth, fake mouse toys they love. Guess one of them is offering up something to me hoping I will restore the slurpy food. Very cute. blackkitty catrub


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1149422
04/26/18 10:17 PM
04/26/18 10:17 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
Good night everyone...sleep well sleep


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1149429
04/26/18 11:04 PM
04/26/18 11:04 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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