Ah, yes, divorce . . . from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
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~Robin Williams~
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Why haven’t you ever seen any elephants hiding up trees? Because they’re really, really good at it.
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We have a strange custom in our office. The food has names there. Yesterday for example I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and its name was "Michael".
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Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie.
The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?”
Son: “Yeah.”
Detector: “Beep.“
Son: “OK, OK, I was in a cinema.”
Detector: “Beep.”
Son: “Alright, I went for a beer with my friends.”
Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!“
Detector: “Beep.”
Mother laughs: “Ha ha ha, well, he really is your son!”
Detector: “Beep.”
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What is dangerous?
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Sneezing while having diarrhea!
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Secretary: “Doctor the invisible man has come. He says he has an appointment.”
Doctor: “Tell him I can"t see him.”
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Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”
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"I really don't know which kid I'm supposedly being unfair to, according to my wife, Thomas, Anton, or the fat, ugly one?"
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"Grandpa, why don't you have any life insurance?"
"So you can all be really sad when I die."
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Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The love of your life.
Liar! Chocolate can’t speak!
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A detective asks a woman, "So, your husband hanged himself?" Woman replies, "Yes, that is correct." The suspicious detective continues, "But why does he have all those bruises on his head?"
"The old fool used bungee rope!"
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Little Red Riding Hood walks all alone through the deep dark wood. Suddenly she hears rustling in a thick bush. Cautiously she moves the branches aside and finds herself facing the big bad wolf.
"Oh, Big Bad Wolf, why do you have such huge red eyes?"
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"Go away! I'm trying to poop!"
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Why don‘t cannibals eat divorced women?
Because they’re bitter.
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Q. What’s the worst thing about being lonely?
A. Playing Frisbee.
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Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
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I’m certain there are female hormones in beer. When I drink too much, I talk nonsense and I cannot control my car.
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Patient asks his doctor: “Can I take a bath with diarrhea?”
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Doctor: “Yes, if you are able to fill it up. “
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Man: Hi, do you want to dance?
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Woman: Yeah, sure!
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Man: Great, you go and dance, while I talk to your pretty friend!
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Good morning everyboomie.
Here we are on the threshold of another Friday.
Quick, someone pull me through!
After teasing us all day Wednesday, wew finally go some good rain yesterday. It hit at 10:30 and only rained fast and hard for about 15 minutes, then it was just piddly rain for the rest of the afternoon.
This morning I'm going back to the sod farm. I'm hoping that they cut more sod from the right spot.
We have rain chances again today, but right now it is very sunny and warm. After today, the temperatures are going to stay around 86 and 87 degrees for the rest of the month.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
at the farm, Joe.
Not complaining, though, as I got paid for my full project time(s), even though nothing took that long. 
Hope you have a terrific Friday!
