“My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn’t walk to the donut shop.”
–
~Bill Murray~
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Funny Answering Machine Recordings1. Hello, this is Frank's fridge. If you leave a message, I will attach it on my door with a magnet. Now go chill.
2. Hello, I am David's answering machine. And who are you?
3. Hello, this is Death speaking. If you leave your name and telephone number, I'll get back to you at your appointed time. Leave your address too.
4. Hi, I'm at home but unfortunately too drunk to find the telephone. Please leave a message and I'll call you back as soon as I'm capable of it, and for gosh sake don't yell!
5. Hello, this is Daniel's answering machine. Please leave a message between the beeps: Beep-beep. Nothing? OK, good bye.
6. Hello, this is Anna's answering machine. I'm always here for you and I love listening to you. Please leave a message after the beep.
7. No, please not the beep. Please, noooo.... Beep
8. You have the right to remain silent. Feel free to exercise that right after the beep.
9. Hello, you are connected to the Vatican. All the confessionals are currently busy. Please explain your sins in full detail after the tone.
10. Hello? Hello? Yes, Aha... Well this is Tony's answering machine. Sorry he's not here. But you can leave him a message after the tone. Bong Bing
Burp! Oops sorry!! Bing Bong Bing. Ok that's your Que.
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After millions of years of evolution, you’re kind of a disappointment.
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I’m breathing. That’s about as productive as I can manage today.
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I am an example to others. I mean it's a bad example but still.
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Rule No. 1: Women are always right.
Rule No. 2: If a woman is not right, Rule No.1 applies.
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Men with piercings are ideal marriage material. They are not new to pain and they have experience with buying jewelry.
- Gabi Köster -
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Girls want a lot from one guy. On the other hand, a guy only wants one thing from a lot of girls.
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Panic, Chaos, Pandemonium – my work here is finished.
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Whoever said "nothing is impossible" clearly never tried slamming a revolving door.
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May I be excused? My brain is quite full.
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The perfect man doesn’t swear, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t get angry, doesn’t drink. He also doesn’t exist.
Two out of four ain't bad though.
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Do not let your mind wander too much. It is too small for you to let it out alone.
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The human body was clearly designed by a civil engineer. Who else would put a waste disposal pipeline running through a recreational area?
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Every rule has an exception. This rule is no exception.
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When the weekend is over:
Where exactly was I in the night from Friday to Monday???
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Monday office chat:
There are days one should really just sleep through. Like Monday through Friday.
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Promises are like babies… They’re fun to make but hard to deliver.
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Good morning everyone!
Hump Day already? Imagine that. I know I was conscious sometime during Monday and Tuesday.
Oh yeah. Tuesday morning the grass was too wet to mow, so I cleaned house all morning. The glass technician came at about 12:00 or so, and repaired the pit in my windshield. After that I took the dogs to the park, came back home and did some exercising, ate supper, took a shower, and then mowed the lawn inside the fence area.
It was all a blur. That's why I can't dismember it so easily.
Everything's a blur to me nowadays. Even when I'm sleeping I can't remember what I did.
So......
Have a memorable day everyone.
joe
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I had to give away a client today because there weren't enough hours in a day. I have Otto boarding here again too, so Nugget is a happy camper! 
Hoo 
