“What’s my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I’m describing my bed again.”
–
Bill Murray
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They say money doesn't bring you happiness, but why trust what strangers say?
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Good thing Noah took those two coffee beans on board.
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I'm really good at stuff until somebody watches me do that stuff.
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You can train a cat to do anything the cat wants to do at the moment it wants to do it.
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It is a fact of nature that light arrives faster than sound. Which is why some people can appear quite bright, until they speak.
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I am swift as a gazelle. An old one. With arthritis. Run over by a Land Rover. 8 days ago.
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You have to excuse me, I suffer from emotional constipation. I really can’t give a ****.
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Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what’s he done to you?
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If your wife wants to learn how to drive, you better not be standing in her way.
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You may have one but that doesn't mean you have to act like one.
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I’m very sorry to interrupt you, but you must have mistaken me for somebody who cares what you think.
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Fat? Me? No, no, no! These are airbags. I'm very safety minded.
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How many times must I flush before you finally go away?
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Looking at the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken must have been around 8 or 11 feet tall.
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Maybe you should move. There must be a village looking for an idiot.
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If you see nothing you could be grateful for, check your pulse.
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It is what’s inside that matters - the fridge is a perfect example.
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If I’m driving you crazy, please remember to put your seatbelt on.
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Chocolate doesn’t ask any questions. Chocolate simply understands.
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The true nature of a human being clearly shows when the supermarket opens a second checkout line.
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I read married couples do it about 74 times per year. It’s end of November now. Seems I’m going to have a seriously exciting December!
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I like being an optimist. It pisses people off.
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They say money doesn’t grow on trees, but why do banks have branches then?
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With a face like yours, you stand a good chance in a lawsuit against your parents.
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Yeah, roll your eyes all you like, it won’t help you. You won’t find any brains back there.
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An opportunist is the guy who drinks the water while the pessimist, the optimist and the realist are arguing about how full the glass is.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the first weekend of the rest of your life.......and the second weekend of May.
I may drive out to the sod farm today just to punish myself. Why not? It's sunny, hot, and dry. There's very little chance that I'll find anything.
I like those odds.
Heck, we may not get any appreciable rain for the rest of the Summer, and any rain at all would be appreciated.
At 88 degrees, the best I can hope for tomorrow is a windy day, and hopefully they have cut more sod in the right area, and or they plowed the ground up, and then irrigated.
Then again, I may role over and go back to sleep.
I surely will if I don't sleep better than I didn't sleep last night.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Hope you get some heat soon.
Venus Happy Birthday! 
Birthday cake and ice cream ready and waiting for you! 
Good hunting to you if you go with #1