Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
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~Greg King~
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Whenever four New Yorkers get into a cab together with no arguing, a bank has just been robbed.
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Confessions may be great for your soul, but they are hell for your reputation.
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Yes, the early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Hard work pays off in the future. Lolling on the couch pays off right now.
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Do you remember when I asked you to give me your opinion? That’s right, me neither.
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Sometimes it’s time to lay on the couch and do nothing at all for two years.
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If the grass is greener on the other side, fair bet is, the water bill is higher too.
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The last thing I want to do is to hurt you.
But we’ll get there eventually, once I’ve gone through the entire list.
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Of course you’re not stupid.
You just have bad luck when you think.
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If you want to keep a true perspective of your own importance, get a dog that will worship you and a cat that will scorn you.
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I’ll be there to catch you whenever you fall.
Love, the floor.
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A bag of money can be a symbol not only of wealth, but also of tremendous inflation.
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The only scenario where you really need a land line today is when you’re trying to find your smartphone.
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When you’re calling a woman, you need to call her twice. First time to give her a chance to find the phone in her handbag, the second time for her to actually answer.
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Help a woman when she’s in trouble. She will remember you when she’s in trouble again.
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Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
Oh yeah? Ever dunk a cookie in alcohol?
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My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.
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Always be yourself. Unless you can also be a unicorn. In that case, always be a unicorn.
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He who laughs last is a bit of a slow thinker.
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Some people's x-rays actually look much better than their photographs.
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Television is a medium – anything well done is rare.
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Of course I can keep secrets. But the people I tell them to obviously can't.
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Good morning everyboomie.
A nuther day has come and gone. I sat at my window watching it go bye. It took a long time.
I took Missy to the park this morning.
I came back home and mowed the lawn outside the fence, and was pretty warm after that.
I spent the afternoon inside where it was cool. My friend brought Beau over to spend a night with us, so there's three of us this evening.
I'm sitting here now eating grapes, which I'm too fond of. I eat a lot of fruit, especially in the Summer when it's hotter. You know what they say, an apple a day keeps the horse flies away, or something very similar to that.
I've gotta go back to cantaloupe though. The grapes are outrageous. I bought a bag two days ago and found out at checkout that it was $9 worth of grapes, that will last me 3 or maybe 4 days.
I eat a lot of pears too, and strawberries, but I hardly ever actually buy apples.
I hope you all have a peach of a day.
joe
acebook
witter
I do want to make sure to get plenty of practice in, and maybe play a game tomorrow. Saturday, I'm going out to lunch with my mom. 
