“I’m planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn’t my first choice but my doctor told me I can’t have any biologically.”
–
~Bill Murray~
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When someone shakes his finger at me like ‘you’re going to regret this in the morning’, I just sleep until noon. I'm a natural solver.
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Last month I made a firm resolution to lose 10 pounds. I only have 15 left to go now.
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I don’t understand why there are so many people outside. I mean, don’t they have Netflix or something?!
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Love is temporary insanity. The only tried and tested cure for it is marriage.
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My job is super confidential. As a result, I’ve no clue what I’m doing.
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Geek Jokes and Sayings. Romantic relationships can actually be represented in algebra. You for example, have definitely at some point looked at your X and asked yourself Y.
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I went on a date with a chess player to an Italian restaurant. With checkered table cloths. It took him maybe half an hour to pass the salt.
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Why are astronauts always so calm and efficient?
Zero pressure in vacuum.
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I bought a universal remote control today. I’m kind of afraid of myself now…
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Moses was leading his people across the dessert to the promised land for 40 years. This was possibly the start of the saying that men refuse to stop and ask for directions.
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I’ll never buy a vacuum cleaner. It would only gather dust.
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Time is money. Therefore, ATMs are time machines.
But.....all your money won't another minute buy.
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How can you tell a programmer is an extrovert? When you’re talking to him, he’s looking at your shoes.
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Unless you’re the lead dog, your prospect isn’t really very good.
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College is really just kidnapping done backwards. If you don’t give us a ridiculously large amount of money, we’ll send you your child back.
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A fine is a tax when you’ve been doing something wrong. A tax is a fine you get when you’ve been doing something right.
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Tomato is a fruit, right? Does that make ketchup a smoothie?
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Good morning everyboomie.
Another day, another.......never mind.
Heading out to the sod farm in the morning, because last night it rained.
Last night I went to bed at 10:00. I finally went to sleep sometime after midnight. At 2:00 I am awakened by a thunderstorm, and it poured good and hard for a half hour. Then, at 4:00 this afternoon we had another big time storm with rain blowing sideways. I know it dropped a couple of inches in an hour.
That same storm blew out over the sod farm.
Hopefully tonight I can get to sleep at a decent hour.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Good luck at the farm today! 
It's a good thing my job is project based rather than time based. 
Venus 
and Kaki's Sister 
hope you all stay safe from the weather and have a fantastic day. 
Joe, looking forward to your archeology report of finds from the sod farm...keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for restful sleep at night