Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.
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~Groucho Marx~
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And why do you think you’d be academically qualified for this job, Mr Richardson?”
-
“I possess a degree of intelligence.”
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5 and 2 had an argument.
2 1
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How to kill a male walrus with no effort?
Point to the ground right in front of him and gasp, “Oh goodness, is that a sardine?!”
````
“If you could invite any historically important person to dinner, who would be your choice?”
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“I’d invite Gandhi.”
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“Why’s that?”
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“There’d be more food left for me.”
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Yo girl, I put sexy in dyslexia!
Um… hang on a moment though…
````
How many potatoes do you need to kill an Irish guy?
None at all.
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Fun fact – did you know that when you take all the nerves from a human body and align them so they’re forming a straight line, you’ll end up in jail for a really, really long time?
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What’s the proof that Cyclops was a pretty bad teacher?
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Well you can’t deny he only had one pupil, right?
`````
Woman to her husband while going at it: "Please say dirty things to me!"
Man: "Bathroom....Kitchen....Living room..."
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My son wanted to know what it's like to be married. I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.
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I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday, having had my spine and both testicles removed. Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic.
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My wife’s cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
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My wife told me she needs more space. I said no problem and locked her out of
the house.
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My wife and I have been married for quite a few years and my wife asked me recently to get some pills that would make sure I’d be up to some action in the bedroom again.
I brought home diet pills. Apparently very much not what she meant.
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What to give a man who’s got everything? A woman. She’ll tell him how everything works.
````
I tried to re-marry my ex-wife.
-
But she figured out I was only after my money.
`````
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.
His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?
“Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age."
His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.
"Well", he replied. "I said I was 87!"
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Marriage is an institution of three rings. Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
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“Darling, can I go out in this dress?”
“Yes dear, it’s already dark out.”
`````
Newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: "Darling, why don’t you brew us some coffee?"
Wife looks confused: "But that's your task, honey."
“What? Why?”
"It’s all over the Bible, dearest."
"The Bible says nothing about who’s supposed to be brewing coffee!"
The wife grabs hold of a copy and starts flipping pages at random: "See? Everywhere: Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews."
That is so bad.
``````
It’s been raining for days now and my husband seems very depressed by it.
He keeps standing by the window, staring. If it continues, I’m going to have to let him in.
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A little boy looks at his mum at a wedding and says, “Mummy, why is the girl dressed all in white?”
His mum answers, “The girls is called a bride and she is in white because she’s very happy and this is the happiest day of her life.”
The boy nods and then says, “OK, and why is the boy all in black?”
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Hello everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend!
At 6:30pm here it's still 91 degrees. Not sure exactly how much over that mark we went today.
There's something about walking around inside a nice cool game environment that really appeals to me on a sunny hot day.
I played around in Beyond Atlantis, URU, and Myst Exile today. Beyond Atlantis, and Exile were the first two computer games I ever played, and two of the few games I have that will play on this laptop.
I've gotta reinstall the two Syberia games with the 'no CD' exe.
This will be a long Summer indeed if I'm limited to just 5 or 6 games.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
It's raining here and 55 degrees. You can have it! 
