We've had "cloning" in the South for years. It's called "cousins"
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~Robin Williams~
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How to keep a redneck busy (please see below)

How to keep a redneck busy (please see above)

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Redneck pick up lines:

1. Hey, you wanna come to me? The bed is still warm from mah brother.

2. Did you f*art? ‘Cause you just blew me away.

3. Did you just touch my butt? Nah? Pity!

4. Oh baby, you are cooler than a set of snow chains.

5. Girl, I want you more than a new set of monster truck wheels.

6. Maybe you ain’t the most beautiful girl around but hey, true love’s just a light switch away.

7. Are you fertile?

8. You are so beautiful – you would fit perfectly in my trailer.

9. Shame I’ve got diabetes. You’re so sweet I would eat you right away.

10. Say, does this smell like chloroform to ya?

11. You owe me a beer. I dropped mine when I saw you.

12. You look so familiar... are we related?

13. Hey wow! Are those real?

14. Would you like to increase my family’s genepool?

15. Between 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

17. Can I show you my collection of monster truck wheels?

18. So, you say you can lift a pig under each arm, gal?

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What is long and hard for a redneck? The fourth grade!

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Rednecks never brush their teeth. They brush their tooth.

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What is a redneck dressed really smart? Artificial intelligence.

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Why do you have a slightly higher IQ in Europe in average?

Because they don’t have rednecks.

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Redneck divorce: “Get the heck outta my truck.”

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Why do redneck girls have a really big belly button? From meeting redneck guys.

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One redneck girl to another: I think Billy Bob might be cheatin’ on me. I ain’t even sure the kids’re his.

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Why is it OK for a redneck mama to call all her sons Harlan?

Because she can still refer to them by their different surnames.

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I am having a redneck moment. Please speak slowly and use small words.

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You know you live in a redneck neighborhood when the drinking age has been raised to 35 to keep alcohol out of schools.

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It’s really easy to get a redneck into a dare. That’s why so many of them die in such weird ways.

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Good morning everyboomie.


Hump Day again?


Like sands through the hour glass, so are the weeks of our life.


It seems like just last week I was running around in diapers.


Actually that was last week. They're more absorbent than my tightie whities.


Whut?


I'm tired of getting up 3 times a night, you know?


Too much info?


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Oh my Joe...TMI
...so close to a G10 museum grade perfect point
...tomorrow is another day
...unless of course you do today what you thought you would do tomorrow in which you wouldn't have to

Ana...hope your Toosday was kind to you...how are the plumbing challenges progressing?

Yes indeed Venus, back to work it is and now I need to figure out how to squeeze 36 hours into each day

Connie...how was dinner, dancing & karaoke at 8 n' 8 Panda?

I'll have a cuppa and Danish to go this morning please Gerry and Connie

Enjoy the quiet time L4L

Have a great Hump Day everyone

Soooo it's Wednesday...again. And yesterday was hectic. Got up to find a dead possum on my front sidewalk. Probably died from a car accident or maybe he was just ill. Saw him about a week at the feeding table and his back legs worked, but he didn't seem normal. Had a problem with poop all over. Ick. So I guess whatever it was, he's gone. Poor guy. Called animal control and all we can do is 'leave a message' and they used to list 'dead animal removal' but now they make it a guessing game of what number to push so I left a message and waited 4 hours. Finally called the main number to ask for assistance and got a grouchy gal who kept saying 'we handle emergencies first' and 'it might not be till tomorrow' etc. I finally gave up. Bagged the poor guy myself (used rubber gloves) and now it sits on my front steps waiting. Hope they come tomorrow since it's starting to smell. Sigh.

THEN the back doorbell rings. Never a good thing since it's always my middle tenants and it's always a problem with something broken. So today, it wasn't that at all. THEY (all 3 of them) are MOVING back to the Philippines! I figured they might do that someday as they still have a house there, but they have lived in the states for 55 years. Wow. They have lived in this house for 30 years (20 of which I was the Landlord). Gonna miss them. Can't imagine what it will be like with new people in that house.

Not only that, but I will have to spend about a month rehabbing the place and they were heavy smokers. Might have to remove the carpet and paint the entire inside to get rid of the odors. I've convinced them to leave the Fridge, Stove and the mom wants 100 bucks for the washer. I'll pay that if it's in really good condition. Probably is. They are very clean, neat people and kept the place in top shape. Lots of upgrades to do and loads of 'sweat equity' to be done. THEN finding new tenants that won't drive me nuts and will pay the rent on time. THIS is the biggie. I have no idea where to start the search, but with the 'rules' for Landlords I'm limited in who I can refuse. Wish me luck. I have until August 23 till they vacate. I'll be planning in the meantime. Anybody here wanna move to San Diego???

Joe! Some days you leave me shaking my head.

soot, Plumber didn't show today, hubby took off work again and we found out they quit us. Our insurance company hired them and they are forcing then to come back. They are ripping up my kitchen floor. I'm not feeling confident at all.

Sorta, my son is moving there or Oregon end of summer. Pretty sure he'd give you something to talk about for sure! I'm sorry you lost your tenants.

Have a great day all! I have some long days ahead.

Have a great Wednesday Joe, soot, Sorta, Ana and all who follow.

Soot, that's quite the challenge. If you figure out how to accomplish it, let me know. I'd like to learn the secret/trick.

It's Tuesday night, and I'm off to sleep. It's going to be a long day tomorrow.

Have a great Wednesday, everyone.

Good Morning Joe, soot. Sorta, Ana, venus and all. Sounds like everyone has a busy schedule today! I've got errands to run and shopping to do. Coffee and tea are ready.
Wishing everyone a stress free day!

Good morning everyone, have a Great Hump Day. Day 4 and still waiting for the AC guy to make it here. Queen of Hearts at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, Sausage, and French Toast in the NC.

Happy Wednesday to all.

Kittens are getting cuter every day. One, the totally black guy has taken to sleeping with the older totally black long haired youngest of the previous little gal. Cute. They sort of match. They snuggle and play like crazy. Mom is getting farther and farther away in her 'monitoring'. The little guys are now under the orchid cactus patch, running in and out of the closely grouped pots. It's like a maze under there. They are banging on the side of the house and being chased by 2 other of the older cats. Fun and games.

Still have a dead possum in a bag on my front lawn. Ugh. Called animal control again and begged for someone to come pick it up today. They start at 8:30am so I called and left a message at 8. They never answer the phone so it's just me waiting for a truck to pull up and grab the bag. Hate this. If it's not gone today, I just might risk the city chastising me for disposing of a dead animal in the regular trash. Tomorrow is pick up day.

Happy Hump day ya'll

It's been a busy day here. I have read the boards, but finally have a minute to post.

It's actually only 38% humidity out there, so took the opportunity to brush and wash Skywalker and brush Seagan. That's enough bending over for the day, so Lil Soot will get his turn tomorrow.

Sorta, we'd never get anyone out here to pick up a dead animal. It's hard enough to get them to come for live but dangerous ones.

Wow, Connie, your AC guy must be swamped.

Happy Erranding, Gerry.

Venus, hope your long day is nearing it's conclusion.

Oh, Ana, what an adventure. Hope it is all fixed soon.

Joe,

Funny about the dead possum. After calling 2 days in a row, I got a call from a gal at Animal Control asking if I could bring the possum in. Animal Control is only a few blocks away so it was OK, but I had to ask about FEES. They always charge me for cat disposal. She assured me there was no charge. So I packed up the possum which was already in the heavy duty 'compactor' plastic bag and added a second bag to be sure there would be no odor in my car.

Got to Animal Control only to stand in a LONG line of people. Found out it was Rabies vaccination day. Ugh. Only took 15 minutes, but I really didn't want to stand that long around a million dogs (some who were not the best behaved). Got home and guess what? The Animal Control Officer drove up to get the possum! Geez. I apologized to him and he was awesome and friendly. Thanked him for stopping by. I assumed the office would have told him they already had the poor dead possum an hour earlier. Oh well.

Possum gone, all is right with the world.

Good night, everyone.