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T*G*I*F #1153375
06/07/18 08:04 PM
06/07/18 08:04 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Honolulu – it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother.
-
Ken Dodd


What is the best season to jump on a trampoline?
-
Spring time.

`````

A prisoner is finally released, after many years in jail. He stands at the pavement, yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!"
-
A little kid walks up to him happily and joins, “I’m four! I’m four!"

`````

Mother is waking her son: “Paulie, come, wake up, you have to go to school.”
-
“Aw mom, just a bit more sleep, please.”
-
“No, it’s really high time, now get up.”
-
“But I don’t want to. The children annoy me and the teachers are a complete pain!”
-
“Stop it, now. Get up and off to school with you!”
-
“Mom, give me two good reasons why I should go to the stupid school.”
-
“Paulie, first of all, you’re 45, and second, you’re the headmaster.”

````````

What is the strongest creature in the world? The snail. It carries its whole house on its back.

```````````

Dad on the last day of school: So, where’s your school report, my boy?

Tom: Sorry, I’ll bring it a day later.

Dad: Why?

Tom: I loaned it to Kevin because he wanted to scare his parents.

`````````

Teacher to Paul: “Wake up, Paul! You can’t sleep in class!”
-
Paul to teacher: “I could actually, it’s just that you’re a bit loud.”

`````

Teacher asks the student: “Why are you so late?!”

Student: “Well I was crossing the road and suddenly it says “School ahead, go slowly!”

``````

Four elephants go for a walk on a stormy day. They only have one umbrella between them. How come they none of them get wet?
-
Well did anybody say it was raining?

````````

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
-
A carrot.

``````

What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
-
He didn't count with this...

``````

Where do pencils spend their vacations?
-
In Pencilvania.

```````

Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”

Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

Patrick, “What school?”

`````

A child comes home dripping wet.

Mother: What on earth were you doing?!

Kid: We were playing dog with my friends and I was the tree.

`````````

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
-
A: It wanted to go to the mooovies.

```````

Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
-
Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!”
-
Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”

```````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Mooovies.... snicker


How was your Wednesday? oops


OK, How was your Thursday? blush


Mine was pretty spiffy. yes


Took the mutt to the park, and then came back and did a bunch of exercising. More than I wanted to but the mutt wouldn't let me stop. She's my trainer. puppy


Then I wanted to lay down and take a much needed nap, but as soon as I did, our 10% chance of rain suddenly multiplied 10X. We had a huge severe, gully washer storm that really really upset the mutt. She jumped on the couch, got right beside me, climbed over me, went down my back, got between my legs, climbed back over me, jumped off the couch, and then started the process over, and repeated that about 10X. rolleyes


I knoiw that the sod farm got all of that rain too, but tomorrow is going to be 95 and steamy. slapforehead


It will also be muddy. Still, I could go out there early and wear the old rubber boots.


Will have a muddy mutt. lol


Have a happy day everyone.


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1153378
06/07/18 08:55 PM
06/07/18 08:55 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, #MuttsRule lol I think a sod farm visit will be a great outing! And if Missy is anything like mine, mud is just more fun to add to the excursion! Have a wonderful day!

Plumbers cut up my kitchen floor and the concrete foundation to get underneath today. Tomorrow they will cut the pipes and put a clean out in and jet it and see what is up. Still leaking from somewhere too, but they haven't found it yet. They caused the leak and there is a lake under the slab now and you can hear the dripping now that its all dug up. I'm tired of it all...

Happy Friday all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1153387
06/07/18 10:24 PM
06/07/18 10:24 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Joe...mud and dogs go hand in hand...you all enjoy it to the fullest

Oh my Ana...that is no fun; I hope they get er fixed sooner than later

My Thursday was spiffy too, but I ran out of time again...that's going to be the norm until the 22nd

Venus...I hope your day was not too long...a 3-day weekend sounds incredible right now

I'll have a coffee and Danish to go this morning Gerry and Connie

Oh my SortaB...wonder if it will end? What do you think about the new water restrictions they're thinking of? Not sure how the plan to restrict showers and laundry...

L4L hearts

have a great TGIF everyone

wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1153411
06/08/18 04:38 AM
06/08/18 04:38 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Online happy
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Online Happy
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, soot and all. Joe I saw on our local news how stormy you are in Oklahoma! Ana how awful! There is nothing worse then water problems especially when you can't find the leak! Soot hope your day is better today. Coffee and tea are ready.
wave Wishing you all a nice day! wave


Gerry
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1153415
06/08/18 06:48 AM
06/08/18 06:48 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Lovely TGIF. Karaoke at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, Sausage, and French Toast in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1153450
06/08/18 11:11 AM
06/08/18 11:11 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Fantastic FriFantastic Friday ya'll puppy

It's hot and steamy in AL. We continue to run about 10 degrees hotter than normal.

Boys will be here in a bit.

I spent the first couple of hours in the kitchen. Now it's on to laundry and sitting and surfing.

Have a great day all wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1153452
06/08/18 11:16 AM
06/08/18 11:16 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Joe, Jupiter does things like this with me all the time, and he's a cat. lol Not because he's afraid, though, he just wants attention. Hope the mutt is feeling better now, and hope she has a great time in the mud. grin

Ana, so sorry you are still having these problems. frown Hope it all gets resolved soon!

Soot, hope you get a 3 day weekend soon, as well! Have a great Friday, and hope today is better than yesterday! Do you have any plans for the weekend?

Have a great day also, Gerry.

Have fun at Karaoke, Connie. thumbsup

Hope it cools off for you soon, L4L. Have fun with the boys. Hope you get some time to relax as well.

I just realized I hadn't posted yet today. I have a day off with no plans except practice, so of course, I'm going to fit some gaming in as well. grin

Have a fantastic Friday, everyone. spring

Last edited by venus; 06/08/18 11:18 AM.

Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1153461
06/08/18 11:46 AM
06/08/18 11:46 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Oh soot! Yes, our water providers in Calif. are always coming up with ways to make us think there is a big water shortage. We do have limited rain around here, so it's not all a lie, but in actuality, it's a clever way to up the prices and make more money. True, so true. I've been here since 1955 and gone through so many of these 'perceived' droughts and all the restrictions it's now become the norm. It does get the 'serious offenders' to conserve a bit, but it's a bit off putting for tourists to see no grass at the hotels, and especially Golf Courses looking like Death Valley landscapes. Not a good image for "America's Finest City" as we are called.

Last time, they restricted watering lawns and washing vehicles and fined anyone who was caught with 'run-off' in the street. They actually had 'water police' going around looking for offenders. AND they limited (or suggested) the amount of water you could use by listing the suggested use for the next month on our bills. Sort of a target amount.

So everyone conserved, they ripped out lawns, let shrubs and trees die, and put in 'drought resistant' vegetation. Looked great, just like a desert landscape. The places that sold astroturf and all the plant selling businesses and landscapers and crushed rock and bark places were thrilled and made hefty profits. I let my grass die which I always do so I don't have to mow it. Nothing new there, but I didn't water my trees much and lost 3 older pittisporus (sp) lovely flowering trees. One of those was the one that fell on my fence later during heavy winds and I had to pay $350. to get it removed. Sigh So much for saving money.

THEN of course, as I knew it would, we all conserved so much (just like we were mandated) the water company RAISED our rates because....get this....not enough water use revenue to the water company so they had to raise rates to sustain the service. Yeah, like I didn't know this would happen (again). Always the same. Conserve, get taxed, yelled at, and then comes the big rate increase.

This last bit is just another one of the same old thing. Oh, and not only the water company does this, but our power company restricts using 'heavy appliances' during certain times of the day. If you follow their rules they give you a 'break' on your bill. We all had to indicate on our bill which time rates we wanted. We had a choice of 3. I opted for NO restrictions and I'll pay the extra penny an hour or whatever it is to do my laundry when it's a good time for me.

So give this about a year or two at the most and suddenly the 'water supply' will be just fine again and the providers will have loads of extra profit and all will be right with the world. You can bet on it. haha


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: T*G*I*F [Re: gymcandy1] #1153521
06/09/18 01:31 AM
06/09/18 01:31 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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