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Monday's #1153706
06/10/18 06:54 PM
06/10/18 06:54 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes – and six months later you have to start all over again.
-
~Joan Rivers~
`````````````


What do you get if you crossbreed an insect with a cute Easter rabbit?
-
Bugs Bunny.

````````

Question: What did the alien ask the garden?
-
Answer: Take me to your weeder.

``````

Q: When is the best time to go see the dentist?
-
A: Some time before tooth-hurty.

`````

What did the traffic light said to car?

Can you look away? I’m changing.

`````

Why do hens lay eggs? Because if they were throwing them, they’d break!

```````

Why was 6 scared of 7?
-
Because: 7 8 9.

`````

Why do some fish live in salt water?
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Because pepper water would make them sneeze!

`````

Why did the teacher have to put the lights on?
-
His class was too dim!

``````

What is the most important skill when you want to work in an orange juice factory?
-
You have to know how to concentrate!

`````

Where do bees love to go to the bathroom?
-
The BP station!

``````

Q: Why did the guy store his money in the freezer?
-
A: He loved cold, hard cash!

`````````

Have I told you the joke about the roof?
-
Actually, never mind, it would be way over your head!

```````

Q: Why did the banana have to go see the doctor?
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A: It was not peeling very well.

```````

Why did the triangle refuse to be friends with the circle?
-
It found the circle pointless.

``````

They expelled me from school on pyjama day. But how is it my fault?! I just sleep naked!

``````

Little Kenny is about to have a big test and his father says: “You better study real good boy, ‘cause if you don’t pass that test, you can forget that you’re my son!”

The next day Kenny comes home and his dad asks him how he did in the test.

Kenny looks at him and says, “And who are you, dude?”

`````

Why was the knight running around, yelling for a tin opener?
-
There was a bee in his suit of armor!

````````

Q: What is it – it has one horn and gives us milk?
-
A: A milk truck.

``````

Where do bulls exchange their messages?
-
On a bull-etin board.

````

A boy comes home from school and tells his daddy he got an F that day. The dad gets angry and says he’ll go to school the next day to make things clear. He does, and asks the teacher, “Why did you give my son an F?!”

The teacher calmly replies, “Because it’s not possible to give him a G.”

`````

Snake’s last words? Oh drat, I bit my tongue!

```````

Q: How does a celebrity stay cool?
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A: By keeping close to his fans.

``````````

Little Joe always gets teased about being dumb. One of the favorite jokes is that the kids offer him a nickel and a dime to see which one he chooses. Stupidly, he always chooses the nickel and off the kids go laughing.

One day a kindly neighbor can’t watch it anymore and says, “Joe, my boy, a dime is worth more than a nickel!”

“I know,” smiles Joe, “but if I keep picking the nickel, they won’t stop the joke and I already got 15 dollars this way.”

``````

Why do birds fly to warmer climates for the winter?
-
It’s much easier for them than walking!

``````

Little Kevin rides his bike and yells at his mummy, “Look mom, I can ride the bike with just one hand!”
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He goes by the second time and yells excitedly, “Mom, mom, look no hands at all!”
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He comes the third time and proudly hollers, “Look mom, no teeth, either!”

`````````

Why do you always have to put sunscreen on your bananas when you take them as a snack to the beach?
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Because otherwise they might peel!

```````

Do you know what they wrote on the grave when a knight in shining armor died in battle?
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Rust in peace!

``````````

Why did the picture have to go to prison?
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It was framed.

``````````

Why is it impossible to trust atoms?
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They make up everything!

`````

Fiona asks her daddy, “Dad, can you write with your eyes closed?”
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“I believe I could, child, if I tried.”
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“Excellent, do you think you would like to try it on my school report?”

```````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


I'm posting this one really early tonight. yes


I mowed half the yard this morning, and have to mow the rest this evening. razz


Don't want to wait too late to do that, and then get my shower. It's 89 degrees out there right now. slapforehead


We have a visitor (Beau), for the next few days. puppy


Another puppy to keep me warm at night. penguin


Have a happy day everyone. wink


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 06/10/18 06:56 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1153709
06/10/18 08:01 PM
06/10/18 08:01 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Early is necessary sometimes Joe...in fact I'll be going to work early for the next two weeks. I hope the lawn mowing proceeded without incident and you can call it done for another week (or 2?). Have fun with the puppy's they are one of life's elixirs!

Hope your Sunday was a good one Ana...looks like you and I have a very busy week!

Venus, nothing major planned Sunday, rest, relaxation, rolling new D&D characters, prepping for work on Monday; my next two weeks will be busy busy. How was you Sunday? What's in store for you this week?

Good morning Connie and Gerry...I'll have a tall coffee and Danish bacon sandwich to go please

Hope you have super weather all week Sorta.

Have a great week everyone wave


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1153733
06/10/18 11:09 PM
06/10/18 11:09 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Glad you got Beau again, Joe! Fun for you and Missy! Hope you got all your chores done.

soot, it will be a week I'll be relieved when it's over! Earlier starts a few days, evenings a few days and jam packed in between. It all adds up to a whole lot of wagging tails though so how could I possibly complain? lol
I hope your week goes smoothly even if its busy.

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1153738
06/11/18 12:15 AM
06/11/18 12:15 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope the lawn mowing went well, and have fun with Beau, Joe! puppy

Soot, that sounds like a great Sunday to me. thumbsup My Sunday was good, although I didn't get as much practice in as I wanted. I had to do some extra cleaning, as it looks like we may have to have some repairs done in the apartment. If the maintenance people show up, I don't want to give them anything to complain about. lol My upcoming week will be somewhat busy, but I get another 3 day weekend, which is good. grin

Ana, my upcoming week looks good, thanks. Monday through Thursday will be a bit hectic, but as I told soot, I have a 3 day weekend planned, so it will be worth it. grin Sorry your week will be so hectic, but at least it will be a fun hectic, so hopefully it will balance out. grin

It's Sunday night, and I'm off to sleep. It's back to work for me in the morning. Have a great Sunday, everyone. spring


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1153747
06/11/18 04:38 AM
06/11/18 04:38 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, soot, Ana, venus and everyone. Joe have fun with Beau! Soot don't work to hard. Ana how's the water problem? Venus how nice you have another 3 day weekend coming up. We are renovating a bathroom. Today shopping for a new sink. Lots to do!
spring Coffee and tea are ready. Wishing a Happy Day for everyone! spring


Gerry
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1153750
06/11/18 07:37 AM
06/11/18 07:37 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super Monday. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, Sausage, and French Toast in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1153757
06/11/18 08:28 AM
06/11/18 08:28 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
venus, glad you have a 3-day weekend coming up! That is something to look forward to! I have a 12 day stretch starting today.

Connie, anything fun planned for today? How is your weather now?

Gerry, they stopped the leak Friday by turning off my water line to the fridge. Apparently the plumber that cut the drywall to get to the pipes damaged it. frown It will be fixed next week. They repiped a section that wasn't to code and rodded in all out and will be back to jet it next week and put the camera in again to be sure it's all ok. Then they can pour a concrete slab again on the hole in my kitchen and we need two new walls built, one in the kitchen, one in the garage which they destroyed. At least I have all sinks and laundry working right now!
Have a great day!

Off to work I go!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1153768
06/11/18 10:41 AM
06/11/18 10:41 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Ana, what an adventure story you have there. You'll have to have a party to celebrate when it's all finally done wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1153810
06/11/18 10:28 PM
06/11/18 10:28 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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