“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt for my food, I don’t even know where Sandwiches live.”
–
~Bill Murray~
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Chuck Norris has a Grizzly bear rug. The bear is alive, but it's too scared to move.
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Chuck Norris can magic a hat out of a rabbit.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can really kill time.
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Chuck Norris drives on the right side, even in Great Britain.
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Chuck Norris uses Tabasco as eye drops.
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Chuck Norris killed the Dead Sea.
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Some children can pee their names into snow. Chuck Norris pees his in cement.
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Somebody asked Chuck Norris to please stop giving roundhouse kicks to people all the time. Historians agree this was one of the biggest mistakes ever made.
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The Holy Grail has never been recovered because nobody is so brave as to ask Chuck Norris for his favorite coffee mug.
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We are finally certain why the universe expands. It is trying to get as far away from Chuck Norris as possible.
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How many push-ups did Chuck Norris do?
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He did them all.
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Chuck Norris' dog collects his own poop because Chuck bows for no reason.
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Chuck Norris doesn't know fear. But fear knows him.
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Contrary to legends, Chuck Norris does need a double. But he only uses him for scenes where he's supposed to cry.
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Chuck Norris once made a Happy Meal cry.
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There was once a street named after Chuck Norris but they had to change the name quite quickly. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once won a tennis match against a wall.
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When Chuck Norris looks directly into the sun, the sun has to squint.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Ouch! That poor rabbit!
They're right though. I tried to kill 8 hours today and only wounded it.
Old Chuck is starting to sound like the most interesting man in the world.
Stay thirsty my friends.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe