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Happy Hump Day #1154479
06/19/18 07:29 PM
06/19/18 07:29 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.
-
~Robin Williams~
````````````````


When my grandson, Jimmy, was 4 or 5, we asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. “I want to be a machine,” he said without hesitation. When we asked him why, he explained, “Well, you can replace the parts in a machine when they wear out.”

````

One night when my son Patrick was 2 years old, he looked up at a half moon and said, “Moon broken.” The next time there was a full moon in the sky, he looked up and said, “Moon fixed now.”

`````

Several years ago, our grandson Andrew slept at our house overnight. For breakfast I made pancakes, and I gave him one that was browner than the others. He told me he didn’t want that one because it was too ripe.

```````

One day when my son David was 5 years old, he informed me that he no longer wanted to go to day care because the other kids were all babies. He said he was a big boy and could stay home alone while I worked. So I asked him, “Who will make your lunch? You can’t reach the stove.”

He quickly replied, “I’ll make a salad.”

`````

My great-granddaughter Brylee was playing horse with her pappy one night. As she was sitting on his back, he asked her how old she was. Brylee said, “Pappy, you know I’m 3.”

“When will you be 4?” he asked. “When I get through being 3,” she explained.

```

When my daughter Mandy was 31/2, we went to visit my grandma in the nursing home. Mandy was trying to talk to a wheelchair-bound resident but was getting little response from her. So she decided to end the conversation by looking down at the wheelchair and exclaiming, “Nice wheels!”

`````

Recently my wife and I were watching our grandsons, ages 3 and 4. The older boy, Owen, fell while he was playing and said, “I hurt my toe.” When I asked him which toe, he hesitated for a few seconds before replying, “the one that goes to market.”

````

An old guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID. "You've got to be kidding," he said. "I'm almost 60 years old." The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license. The guy showed his ID, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change. "The tip's for carding me," he said. The bartender put the change in the tip cup. "Thanks," he said. "Works every time."

`````

The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. Even his son turned up.

“How old are you?” a tenant asked.

“I’m 81 years old,” he answered.

The tenant shook her head. “They sure grow up fast, don’t they?”

```````

Police in Tampa, Florida, raided and shut down a weekly $4-a-round mah-jongg game played by four 
elderly women. The Week asked its readers for titles of crime movies that could be made about this bust:

Golden Girls, Interrupted

The Lavender Hair Mob

Indicting Miss Daisy

No Country for Old Women

The Social Security Network

`````

“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”

The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”

`````

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that's the law.

—Jerry Seinfeld

``````

When a soldier came to the 
clinic where I work for an MRI, he was put into the machine by an 
attractive, young technician. Sometime later, when the examination 
was over, he was helped out of the machine by a far older woman. The soldier remarked, “How long was 
I in there?”

`````

While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi.

“It’s taped under the modem,” 
I told him.

After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?”

```````

After trick-or-treating, 
a teen takes a shortcut home 
through the cemetery. Halfway across, he’s startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots 
an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone.

“I thought you were a ghost,” 
says the relieved teen. “What are you 
doing working so late?”

“Oh, those idiots,” grumbles the old man. “They misspelled my name!”

``````

“What’s a hipster?” asked my four-year-old cousin.

“Someone who will wear something just to look different,” I said. “They’ll often buy clothes in thrift shops and wear thick glasses.”

“Is Grandma a hipster?” he asked.

```````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Hump Day already?? shocked


Wow! That was a lot of lawn mowing I did. I'm sure I started it on Monday. headscratch


It still has not rained here, although we did get a few drops today. rolleyes


I went out this morning to take Missy to the park, and my battery was dead. hardwall


It seems yesterday when I was having the oil changed, they turned the lights on to check the turn signals and break lights, and the left the switch in the on position and I didn't catch it. A neighbor let me know the lights were still on, and I turned them off, but I guess it was too late. slapforehead


Wednesday is supposed to be our best chance for rain, if it doesn't change again, so I've got my fingers crossed. yes


Have a happy day everyone. rah


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1154487
06/19/18 08:54 PM
06/19/18 08:54 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Good morning Joe...Good morning everybody laugh

It's Tuesday evening and I'm getting ready for bed...but must feed dogs first puppy

I survived the day and I am one day closer to the weekend! Tomorrow will be problematic and very difficult...I will be relying on mindfulness to get me home tomorrow wink

I hope you get your rain Joe and more importantly I hope your battery recovers

Ana, I hope the day went will today without too much heat or sun

Technical difficulties can be frustrating Venus...I encounter those in my job too and find ways around them if I can't fix them

I'll have a coffee and Danish to go Connie and Gerry

We had 97 percent humidity this morning Midge...the air was thick and damp

L4L flowers

Have a wonderful day everyone

wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1154496
06/19/18 11:09 PM
06/19/18 11:09 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, sorry about the dead battery, what a pain! Hope you had jumper cables. We have had so much rain! We got a few inches last night. So much water everywhere!

soot, the day was very humid and warm (80's) but I love it. I get to go to the river and take some dogs on a park run to swim so that's always a fun place to cool down because they get me very wet.

venus, umbrellas are impossible when walking the dogs. I have to keep my hands free. I do have a thigh length raincoat when needed though.

Have a great day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1154500
06/19/18 11:50 PM
06/19/18 11:50 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Sorry about your battery, Joe. frown Hope you were able to get it jump started.

Soot, I had a different type of difficulty with the same project today. I think that project is cursed. lol Luckily, I only have one more of those projects tomorrow, so I only have to endure the curse one more time. lol Sorry tomorrow will be problematic and difficult. Hope it goes more smoothly than anticipated and that your mindfulness gets you through it!

Ana, I thought that might be the case. It's good that you have a raincoat if you need it. thumbsup Glad you had a great time with the dogs at the river. thumbsup

It's Tuesday night, and I'm off to sleep. I had another project added to my long list of projects tomorrow, which means tomorrow is going to be the longest day of the week for me. crazy I keep trying to talk Saga into working for me, but she just stares at me blankly. I think she knows better than to get involved. lol

Have a great Wednesday, everyone. summer

Last edited by venus; 06/19/18 11:51 PM.

Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1154508
06/20/18 05:00 AM
06/20/18 05:00 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Taintedfury Offline
Addicted Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Hello Joe, all funny Joe hehehe urock

Hope you get the battery going and get some rain - it just keeps raining here. insane

Hope you have a wonderful day. joy


*******************************************

Hiya Ana lab , Soot wavegirl and venus dragon have a great day too you all, happy gaming. spring
penguin

Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1154509
06/20/18 05:29 AM
06/20/18 05:29 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, soot, Ana, venus , Tainted and everyone. Connie hope all went well for your friend in court. Joe hope your battery recovers. Soot wishing you a stress free day. Ana I'll take some of that rain for you! Venus hope your day doesn't run to late. Tainted nice to see you in the Diner. Wishing you a sunny day!
summer Coffee and tea are ready. Happy Day to you all! summer


Gerry
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1154517
06/20/18 06:57 AM
06/20/18 06:57 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super Hump Day. All went well in court yesterday. Queen of Hearts at the Eagles tonight Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, Sausage, and French Toast in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1154540
06/20/18 09:53 AM
06/20/18 09:53 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Wonderful Wednesday ya'll puppy

Hot and humid are the theme of the day.

I'm taking the 2 babies (who are not babies anywhere except in my mind) to the vet today for routine appointments. Then I need to make Seagy an appointment..she is doing some odd trembling that I don't like. I prefer to take her by herself as her health is more complicated than the younger ones.

wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1154546
06/20/18 10:34 AM
06/20/18 10:34 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Taintedfury Offline
Addicted Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Hello Kaki's Sister tyvm hope you have lovely day too summer.

Connie happy that court went well for you enjoy your outing. bravo


Looney hope Seagy gets better soon crossing my finger's. lab

dragon penguin

Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1154583
06/20/18 06:05 PM
06/20/18 06:05 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Connie, I'm happy that court went well!

Taintedfury, hope your rain stops too! We have had crazy amounts! So much flooding.

L4L, I hate vet trips, hope all is well for all of them!

Gerry, did you get our heat wave?

venus, how is the cursed project going? I hope that today went well!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1154606
06/20/18 08:20 PM
06/20/18 08:20 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
good night all sleep


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1154607
06/20/18 08:33 PM
06/20/18 08:33 PM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Taintedfury Offline
Addicted Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Ana thank you very much wave2 we've just started winter and when it rains here it comes hard. so I'm happy today because we got some sunshine. penguin


P.s hope you get some sunshine too. summer




Hiya Soot hope you have good nights sleep dragon

Last edited by Taintedfury; 06/20/18 08:36 PM.
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1154617
06/20/18 10:59 PM
06/20/18 10:59 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Nighty night...another long day down in history.


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1154622
06/20/18 11:50 PM
06/20/18 11:50 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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