Does it disturb anyone else that “The Los Angeles Angels” baseball team translates directly to “The The Angels Angels”?
~Neil DeGrasse Tyson~
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A whale swims all day, only consumes fish and water, and is fat. A rabbit only eats vegetables, runs and hops all day long, and only lives 5 years. Meanwhile a tortoise doesn't run and does nothing energetic, yet it lives for 450 years. And you tell me to eat well and exercise! I don't think so.
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Q: What do you call a non-amateur live bacteria?
A: A Pro-Biotic
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I choked on a carrot this afternoon, and all I could think was, "I bet a donut wouldn't have done this to me."
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I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you can't have any more food. I'm just never ready for that kind of commitment.
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I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.
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Ladies – want to drop 5 pounds? Let go of your purse.
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All my life I thought air was free… until I bought a bag of chips.
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Q: What do you call an American folk hero who starts a weight loss trend?
A: Johnny Applecidervinegar.
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When someone tells me I gained weight, I just say I’m in the process of westward expansion.
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Q: What was the terracotta figurine’s favorite superfood?
A: Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia Seeds.
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Good Monday morning everyboomie.
I hope you all have a terrific week, and a very happy day.......or vise versa.
joe