If people say they just love the smell of books, I always want to pull them aside and ask, To be clear, do you know how reading works.
@bridger_w
(Bridger Winegar)
````````````````````````````
I don't need a personal trainer as much as I need someone to follow me around and slap the unhealthy foods out of my hand.
`````
"Wow, that Lean Cuisine really filled me up," said no one ever.
````
Q: What was the most popular weight-loss trend in the Holy Roman Empire?
A: The Diet of Worms.
``````
Q: How does the Energizer bunny stay in shape?
A: The Alkaline diet.
````
Today I bought a cupcake without the sprinkles.
Diets are really hard man!
``````
Nutritionist: You should eat 1,200 calories a day.
Client: OK, and how many a night?
``````
I wanted to work out...but then I wanted to not work out even more.
It's all about priorities.
``````
I never thought I'd be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise.
I was right.
```````
I need to start eating more healthy, but first I need to eat all the junk food in the house so it's not there to tempt me anymore.
I payed good money for that stuff anyway.
`````
My wife is on a tropical food diet, the house is full of the stuff.
It's enough to make a mango crazy.
``````
I’m on a seafood diet. Any food I see, I eat.
`````
I only seem to remember I want to lose weight after eating 9 cookies.
```````
Q: What’s your favorite exercise?
A: Chewing.
``````
I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.
```````
It took a lot of willpower. But I finally gave up dieting.
``````
I gave up jogging for health reasons.
My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
`````
Don’t forget, you are what you eat….
I need to eat a skinny person.
````````
If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?
``````
Good morning everyboomie.
I've always been fond of Tuesdays, how about y'all?
Josh just left for home, and I'm back to me the bird and the pooch.
I've still gotta eat dinner, shower, and walk the dog tonight, so I'm throwing this out for you all to start enjoying.
Half a happy day everyone.
Heck....have a whole one.
joe