I’m writing my book in fifth person, so
every sentence starts out with: “I heard from this guy who told somebody ...”
Q: When do you go at red and stop at green?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon.
Q: What do you call cheese that is sad?
A: Blue cheese.
What do you call blueberries playing the guitar?
A jam session.
Q: Did you hear about the carrot detective?
A: He got to the root of every case.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
Did you see the movie about the hot dog?
It was an Oscar wiener.
Q. What's the difference between a shamrock and a bread knife that gets used a lot?
A. The shamrock is a four-leaf clover, and the knife is a four-loaf cleaver.
Q. What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race?
A. Wow, I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
Q. Which thrill ride does a wine glass love to go on the most?
A. A coaster!
Q. How do you keep intruders out of a castle made of cheese?
Wow! That one was really bad.
Q. What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that gets right up in your face?
A. Too close for comfort food.
Grilled cheese?? THAT"S WHAT I HAD FOR LUNCH!!!
Did you hear the one about the guy who invented Tic Tacs? They say he made a mint.
Tic Tac Dough...
Q. Which type of vegetable tries to be cool, but is only partly successful at it?
A. The radish.
I can't stand potato puns. I think they're pomme de terrible.
Q. What do you call a round, green vegetable that breaks out of prison?
A. An escapea.
Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend.....in just 2 more days!
Get through Thursday and Friday and you got it made. Just try and stay in the shade.
If you're like we are, it ain't getting any cooler.
If you get out of bed today, then have a happy day.
If you don't get out of bed......I'm so jealous.