Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
~Mark Twain~
````````````
A man invited a woman over to his home for a seven-course meal.
“That’s lovely,” she said. “What are we going to have?”
He said, “A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.”
```````
During World War II my parents had planned a romantic Valentine's Day wedding. Suddenly my father, then stationed at Camp Edwards in Massachusetts, received orders to prepare to ship out, and all leaves were canceled. Being a young man in love, he went AWOL. He and my mother were married four days earlier than originally planned and he returned to base to an angry sergeant. After hearing the explanation, the sergeant understandingly replied, "Okay, okay!" Then, as an afterthought: "But don't let it happen again!"
```````
If you like Piña Coladas About a year had passed since my amicable divorce, and I decided it was time to start dating again. Unsure how to begin, I thought I'd scan the personals column of my local newspaper. I came across three men who seemed like they'd be promising candidates. A couple of days later, I was checking my messages and discovered one from my ex-husband. "I was over visiting the kids yesterday," he said. "While I was there I happened to notice you had circled some ads in the paper. Don't bother calling the guy in the second column. I can tell you right now it won't work out. That guy is me."
``````
Hallmark wants youMy friend Mark and I work in a lawn-mower-parts warehouse. Somehow Mark got the idea that his wife did not want a card on Valentine's Day, but when he spoke to her on the phone he discovered she was expecting one. Not having time to buy a card on his way home, Mark was in a quandary. Then he looked at the lawn-mower trade magazines scattered around the office—and got an idea. Using scissors and glue, he created a card with pictures of mowers, next to which he wrote: "I lawn for you mower and mower each day."
````````
My husband, a certified public accountant, works 15-hour days for the first few months of the year. In spite of his hectic schedule, he took time out to order me flowers for Valentine's Day. While pondering what sweet endearment to write on the card, he obviously began thinking of the many hours of work still ahead of him. His note read: "Roses are red, violets are blue. If I weren't thinking of you, I'd probably be through."
``````
The lingerie store where my aunt works was crowded with shoppers selecting Valentine's Day gifts for their wives. A young businessman came to the register with a lacy black negligee. My aunt noticed that the next customer, an elderly farmer, was holding a long flannel nightgown and kept glancing at the younger man's sexier choice. When it was his turn, the farmer placed the nightgown on the counter. "Would you have anything in black flannel?" He asked.
``````
Do you mind if I give you a ping?My boyfriend Hans and I met online. After dating a long time, I introduced him to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met over the Internet. He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up. Ever the geek, Hans naively replied, "I just used a modem."
``````
Wife: "Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don't you do that?"
Husband: "Why would I? I don't even know her."
```````
My sister Tina was telling her husband, Jay, about a wonderful program she had watched on TV. The show gave a national award to heroic people who put themselves in grave danger to help out someone they hardly knew. Jay replied, “That sounds a lot like getting married.”
```````
Q: Whats the difference between love and marriage?
A: Love is blind and marriage is an eye-opener!
``````
My son wanted to know what it's like to be married. I told him to leave me alone and when he did, I asked him why he was ignoring me.
When I marry, I want a woman just like Mom. `````
If I have to choose between a husband and shoes, I choose shoes. They tend to last longer and are easier to replace.
Just don't buy loafers.`````
Man: “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”
Friend: “Why not?”
Man: “I don’t like to interrupt her.”
```````
Son: Dad, I’ve heard that in some parts of the world a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.
Father: Son, that's true everywhere.
`````
Every man wants a beautiful wife, a smart wife, a loving wife, a sexy wife, and a cooperative wife. Sadly, bigamy is against the law.
```````
If a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing — either the car is new or the wife is.
`````````
A retired rancher decided
to go back to school. He made an appointment with the dean of admissions at a university.
The dean asked him, “Are you pursuing a bachelor’s degree?” The rancher replied, “I'd like to, but I can’t. I’m still married.”
``````
Good morning everyboomie.
Busy week coming up for me here. My friend in town (Beau's owner) is having a birthday this week, my niece is having a birthday, and her daddy (my brother) is turning 70.
I'll be going up to his place Friday to help him celebrate.....or commiserate.
He lives 2 1/2 hours North of here in Shawnee.
Between now and then, I have a few things to get done.
I hope your week is a pleasant one, and you all have a happy day.
joe
acebook
witter
Tomorrow is another day and before you know it it'll be Friday 
Great that you looked up belting. I bet you heard a lot of it when you saw Annie. 
Wishing a Happy Day for you all!! 
