"Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail." Kinky Friedman


1. What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?

That hit the spot!

2. What did the dog say to the tree?

Bark.

3. What do you call a dog with a surround system?

A sub-woofer.

4. What did the dog say to the sandpaper?

Ruff!

5. What happens when it rains cats and dogs?

You can step in a poodle.

6. What is a dog’s favorite city?

New Yorkie!

7. What is a dog’s ideal job?

Barkeology!


8. What kind of dog chases anything red?

A bulldog!

9. Why did the poor dog chase his tail?

He was trying to make both ends meet.

10. What do you call a dog in the winter?

A chili dog!

11. What kind of dog does Dracula have?

A bloodhound!

12. What did the skeleton say to the puppy?

Bone Appétit!

13. Why did the dog cross the road?

To get to the barking lot.

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Q: Why are dogs like phones?

A: Because they have collar IDs!



Q: Why do dogs run in circles?

A: Because it's hard to run in squares!



Q: What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A: A collie-flower!



Q: What do you get when you cross a racing dog with a bumblebee?

A: A greyhound buzz!



Q: Why did the snowman name his dog "Frost"?

A: Because "Frost" bites!



Q: What dog keeps the best time?

A: A watch dog!



Q: Which dog breed absolutely LOVES living in the city?

A: A New Yorkie!



Q: Why is a tree like a big dog?

A: They both have a lot of bark!



Q: What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?

A: A cockerpoodledoo!



Q: What do you get when you cross a frog and a dog?

A: A croaker spaniel!



Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone?

A: A golden receiver!



Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?

A: Right where you left him!



Q: Why aren't dogs good dancers?

A: Because they have two left feet!



Q: What did one flea say to the other?

A: Should we walk or take a dog?



Q: Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs?

A: Because you might step in a poodle!



Q: Why can't dogs work the DVD remote?

A: Because they always hit the paws button!



Q: How are a dog and a marine biologist alike?

A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale!



Q: Why was the dog sweating so much?

A: She was a hot dog!



Q: What did the waiter say to the dog when he brought out her food?

A: Bone appetit!



Q: What do you call a great dog detective?

A: Sherlock Bones!



Q: How do fleas travel from place to place?

A: By itch-hiking!



Q:Which dog breed does Dracula love the most?

A: Blood hounds!



Q: What's a dog's favorite dessert?

A: Pupcakes!



Q: What kinds of stores do dogs love the most?

A:Re-tail stores!



Q: What's a dog's favorite kind of pizza?

A: Pupperoni pizza!



Q: Which dog breed chases anything that's red?

A: A bull dog!



Q: What did the dog say when he sat on some sandpaper?

A: That's ruffffffff!!



Q: What's a dog's favorite instrument?

A: A trombone!



Q:What did the hungry Dalmatian say after his meal?

A: “That hit the spots!"



Q: What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?

A: A flea market!



Q: What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show?

A: A CAT-tastrophy!



Q: What do you call a dog that's been out in the cold?

A: A pupsicle!



Q: What do you do if a dog chews your dictionary?

A: Take the words right out of his mouth!



Q: Which breed of dog is the quietest?

A: A hush puppy!



Q: Which dog breed just LOVES bubble baths?

A: A shampoodle!



Q: What did the dog say to the flea?

A: Quit bugging me!



Q: What's a dog's favorite breakfast food?

A: Pooched eggs!



Q: Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?

A: He kept seeing spots!



Q: Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes?

A: A Chi-ha-ha!



Q: What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?

A: Her pet-degree!

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Welcome to the weekend everyone!

Joe is off visiting so you are stuck with me!

Try as I might, I am just not witty like he is, especially when I am trying hard to stay awake.

I wish you all a happy day!

JoeAna

they were good ones Ana, thanks for the laughs, now you can rool over and sleep, after all, you must be dog tired.

Have a fantastic day Ana, Starcom and all who follow.

I just realized I stayed up way too late playing a game tonight. It's a good thing I don't have to be anywhere in the morning. I really have to get some sleep now, though. Then I'll play some more tomorrow.

Hope everyone has a terrific Saturday.

Good Morning Ana, Starcom, venus, of course Joe and everyone. Ana love the doggy funnies! Thanks for taking over for Joe. Starcom enjoy your day. Venus goodness you stayed up late! Hope your kitties let you sleep in this morning! Coffee and tea are ready.
Wishing everyone a relaxing day!

Good morning everyone, have a Great Saturday. A Costco trip today. Dinner and Trivia at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Sausage, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC.

Gerry, yes, it was way too late! I haven't been that captivated by a game in a long time, even though there have been really some good ones. Jupiter did not let me sleep in as much as I would have liked, unfortunately. Hope your day is relaxing also!

Thanks for all the delicious food, Connie. Hope you have a great Saturday.

I have to make sure I fit some practice in today in addition to gaming. No voice lesson this week, but I want to make sure everything stays in shape for next Saturday's lesson.

Hope everyone is having a great day so far.

It's going to be a busy day for me. Gotta spy on the neighborhood all day and night. Seems the house that got sold just before the foreclosure isn't going to be 'rehabbed' as we thought! The very day the hubby got out, the new owners came over and put up a FOR SALE sign from a major realty company. Yikes! I should have guessed when I looked up the buyers and saw they were an 'investment company'. Never occurred that they would just buy at a low low price and then do a tiny bit of clean up (got a dumpster over there last night) and then resell for a proper price. How smart of them. I figure that in one day, they made a 50k profit without doing much of anything. Ohhhhh! Looking for the new listing on MLS today. The realtor is a guy I saw taking pictures the day before and it should be up by today. If I had money, I'd have bought the house myself as a rental. Won't take much to fix it up and the worst part is all the junk the guy had. Tons of stuff. Probably will fill 5 or more dumpsters by the time they finish. Just labor, nothing really difficult. Fun fun fun.

Good one StarCom; roll over and sleep It's great to see you in the Diner

Oh my Venus...I'll say you were up late; er actually that's early ...yes, you need to keep your voice in shape!

hey there Gerry and Connie...I'm ready for coffee, 2 eggs sunny side up, grits, sausage and french toast in the NC please

Hope you get good neighbors SortaB...how are your critters?

Lazy Saturday for me; did my errands this morning, a project this afternoon, a little cleaning to chip in, drying out my step counter which I washed with my laundry yesterday...it's still ticking after taking a licking washing. Last 3 days of work at a conference were actually very busy and I'm drained...so need to recharge my batteries.

have fun everyone

OMG Soot you just sent me back when the Timex watches first came out and they tied the Watch to a Boat propeller and after XXX times revolution they took the watch out and it was still ticking. Later someone actually tried it and the watch did not work, when that person wrote to Timex they wrote back and said not to believe everything you see on TV and the Company got away with it, this was the 70s after all.... They would not have got away with that answer today without a lawsuit.....

PS: I hope you all had a great week-end.

Good night, everyone.