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#1157533 - 07/21/18 08:22 PM Sip & Surf Sunday
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32463
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

~Robin Williams~

A military base commander called to complain that the weather-forecasting software our company created for them kept reporting 
unexplainable wind shifts.

“Do you know where the sensor is located?” my coworker asked.

“Of course,” he responded. “It’s where we park the helicopters.”


My husband is infantry, and 
he said the most wonderful things 
to convince me to marry him:

• The closets could all be mine since he wears the same thing every day.

• I could have as many babies as 
I want because giving birth is free.

• He would never get on my nerves, because he would always be gone.


Humankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there.


We were an Air Force family, but our son could not grasp that 
fact. Anytime someone asked what his father did, he’d say, “He’s in the Army.” I told him umpteen times, “Stop telling people I’m in the Army!” It finally seemed to hit home because on the admittance form 
for kindergarten, under “father’s 
profession,” the teacher wrote, “He doesn’t know what his father does, but he’s not in the Army.”


“Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.”

“The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.”

“Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.”

“Airspeed, altitude, and brains: Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.”


I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when my squad leader barged in. He was holding a toothbrush, which he proceeded to use to scrub underneath the rim of a toilet.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Hazing the new guy,” he said with a grin.

“You do know that he could get ill from the bacteria on the toilet.”

His reply was quick and to the point: “You didn’t.”


The flight attendant on our trip was handing out plastic pilot wings to some kids. As I stepped 
forward, she jokingly offered me one, but I passed. Pointing to the Airborne wings on my Army uniform, I 
explained, “The last time someone 
gave me wings, I had to jump 
out of the airplane.”


Mom Jokes

Don't wake up mom! There are at least seven species who eat their young. Your mom may be one of them.


Mother: (noun)

One person who does the work of 20. For free


You know you're a mom when...

...picking up another human to smell their butt is not only normal but totally necessary


Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth with Oreos.


When I was growing up, my mother’s best dish was store-bought Entenmann’s chocolate chip cookies.


One of my friends is pregnant. And I’m really excited. Not for the baby but because she’s one of my skinniest friends.

@MichelleIsAWolf (Michelle Wolf)


My Mom Taught Me …

Logic: “If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can’t go to the store with me.”

Humor: “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

Justice: “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you’ll see what it’s like!”


When Relatives Attack

There is nothing more awkward than the moment you realize you’re getting a double-cheek kiss.


Dog Mom Is Always Right

“We’re eating 
dinner soon. 
Don’t fill up 
on homework.” 
—Dog mom


My mother was rushed to the 
hospital following a serious tumble. There the staff placed a band around her wrist with large letters warning: Fall Risk.

Unimpressed, Mom said to me, “I’ll have them know I’m a winter, spring, and summer risk too.”


Good morning everyboomie. wave2

I'm back from my little trip. Thank you Ana for helping me out last night with the diner. hearts

The dog jokes were awesome. bravo

I had a wonderful time at my brother's. It was great to see my two older brothers, my sisters-in-law, my nieces, nephews, great nieces, great nephews, and a lot of other people that I didn't know.

I hope we can do that again on my brother's next 70th birthday. yes

It's good to get together with your relatives every few decades or so. thumbsup

My brother has 5 big dogs, and two little inside dogs......all rescues. All just as sweet as they can be. I loved playing with them. lab

I took Missy with of course and everyone loved her too. puppy

I hope everyone has a super fantastic Sunday. rah

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#1157543 - 07/22/18 12:55 AM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 76554
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, I'm glad you and Missy had a great time! How awesome to have so many pups! Lots to love!

I worked yesterday for a couple favorite clients, among going to an event I had tickets to first thing, a birthday party for my neighbor in the late afternoon and an outing at night with my son and a bunch of his friends. It was a crazy full day and can't believe we fit it all in! Just got home and going to unwind and then get some sleep. I'm supposed to help clean up Starved Rock today but that means I have to get up early. I had a migraine yesterday morning because of the weather change so I'll play it by ear.

Still haven't received my test results back, so I am assuming no news is good news!

Have a happy day all!
Don't feed the Trolls

#1157549 - 07/22/18 02:09 AM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 8278
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Glad you had a great time, Joe! bravo

That's impressive that you managed to fit so much into one day, Ana! Hope your head feels better today, however! yes Also hoping no news is good news!

It's Saturday night, and I'm off to sleep. I have one more day off before my upcoming crazy work week.

Have a great Sunday, everyone. summer
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

#1157555 - 07/22/18 05:50 AM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Online   happy
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 23344
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus and everyone. Joe sounds like you and Missy had a wonderful visit with your brothers. Ana maybe you should call the doctor and to see what the hold up is on the test results. Venus enjoy your last day off. We are finally getting some much needed rain today. Hopefully the severe weather stays away. A good day to watch the Tour De France! Such beautiful country they bike thru in France. Coffee and tea are ready.
summer Enjoy your Sunday everyone! summer

#1157559 - 07/22/18 07:26 AM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10666
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Sunday. Breakfast out this morning, Gaming later today. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, Ham, Bacon, Sausage, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC. summer

#1157577 - 07/22/18 11:24 AM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 9685
Loc: San Diego, CA
Going to be HOT today and all week. Ohhh. We finally get Summer! Been missing that around here. Get to wear shorts, wheeee.

I've become a 'kitten wrangler'. Still trying to determine the male/female of the Triad. Got 2 of them as males but the third won't come near me, just like its mom. Darn darn. So it's Mom not spayed and another of her brood from a previous litter not catchable but is a male so he's good. Won't have to worry about him for now. He will probably gravitate to another area where he can be the 'top dog' so to speak. Ha.

My back Tenant/friend told me last night that the neighbor behind me who bought the property that joins my empty back lot is starting to erect some sort of fence. I've got to get a look at it today. When the guy (and big family) first moved in, I met him and he was nice. Wanted to know if he could straighten the chain link fence that leans over onto my property. He thought it was mine. It's his so I told him sure. Not so sure what he's up to now. Hopefully he is going to either remove the 'offending' fence or straighten it up. The bottom is on the property line, but the top leans over my property by about a foot or foot and a half, due to the previous owner's kids building a huge skateboard ramp over it which bent the actual posts. I didn't own the property at that time but made them remove it when I took ownership. Not a biggie as the lot is empty and 4 others properties adjoin mine back there. Fun. All manner of OLD ratty fencing and lots of fun trying to figure out whose fence is whose. Then again, maybe the posts are for a huge chicken coop. They have chickens now! Little 4x4 box with some reddish guys in it. Not a good place in the hot sun, but I don't know much about chickens. Only problem is that the City doesn't allow farm animals in our area. I'm not going to complain. Maybe I'll get some eggs.

Off to spy on the 'sold' house which is again for sale after only a week of ownership. They have already filled a commercial dumpster and are waiting for another to be delivered. It's a massive cleanup. Can't imagine how that ex-hubby gathered up all that stuff over the years. It's like walking into a commercial junkyard and he left most of it there before finally being forced to leave. It's a never ending source of entertainment.
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

#1157581 - 07/22/18 12:12 PM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 28822
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
rotfl love the military jokes Joe...they bring back memories yes that's great to hear you had a great visit...I'm headed to see my brother for his birthday this week and we'll have lots of family gathering will be fun

Ana, sounds like a full day for sure...keeping you in my prayers...remember to rest when you can and work when you must

Venus...enjoy your time off!! Your crazy week will be enough to keep you going when it unfolds :surprised:

Gerry...have fun watching the Tour De France today

Connie...have fun gaming today laugh

think Let's see, I think I'll hang for awhile in the NC, drink tea, snack on a Danish or two and watch the Tour De France with Gerry

Hmmm SortaB, I'm thinking the third one is a lady for sure wink Sure hope the new fence is a good one!

L4L hearts

I'm off to garden, water, relax, maybe take a nap, clean, read and pack for my upcoming trip. Have a SuperSunday everyone

To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music

#1157618 - 07/22/18 08:22 PM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 76554
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
I firmly believe we are given rainy days to help us focus on getting things done indoors. lol I spent the whole day getting my computer work done and it feels great to get that off my mind and plate! I actually have a gaming night planned after I finish dinner! I'm excited!
Don't feed the Trolls

#1157628 - 07/22/18 10:32 PM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 8278
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?


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