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Monday's #1157619
07/22/18 08:40 PM
07/22/18 08:40 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.

~Ernest Hemingway~
``````````````````


Money Jokes


I had my credit card stolen the other day but I didn't bother to report it because the thief spends less than my wife.

``````

I'm currently boycotting any company that sells items I can't afford.

``````

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you're innocent".

```````

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

`````

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

`````

Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.

`````

I saw a sign that said "Watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade".

`````

I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75.

```````

You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney.

``````

To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.

```````

The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.

``````

You don't have to marry for money; hang around the rich and marry for love.

`````

Money isn't everything, but it certainly keeps you in touch with your children.

`````

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

`````

Never lend money to a friend. It's dangerous. It could damage his memory.

``````

After hearing a sermon on Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the IRS, “I can’t sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. Enclosed is a check for $150. If 
I still can’t sleep, I’ll send the rest.”

``````

A last-minute filer walked into our state income tax office and handed me his returns. Just as he did, a peal of laughter could be heard in another room. Glaring at me, he grumbled, “What are they doing back there, counting the money?”

``````

Here are the best tried-and-failed excuses British businesses gave for not paying their taxes on time.

• My pet goldfish died. 
 —Self-employed builder

• Our business doesn’t really do anything. —Financial services firm

• I’ve been too busy submitting my clients’ tax returns. —Accountant

``````

Good Monday morning everyboomie? duh


You tell me. razz


Actually it's the first day in about 10 days that we're forecast to be under 100 degrees, at 99 degrees. Ooooo Ahhhhh! penguin


My plans for the day include a trip to Walmart for groceries. yes


Well, that and a stop at the park for some exercise. Gotta walk my guard dog. puppy


Speaking of 99 degrees, and dog walking, we've cooled down today to 99 degrees here at 7:40, and Missy prissy needs a walk. I do too. happydance


Therefore.......away we go! lab


Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1157625
07/22/18 09:47 PM
07/22/18 09:47 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
JOe, I'll take some of that heat! We are back in the 70's here. Keep cool though!

Have a happy day all! I have breakfast and bedtime shifts again so a full fun day for me!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1157630
07/22/18 10:36 PM
07/22/18 10:36 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Joe, hope you'll stay warm enough at that temperature. lol Hope you and Missy had a great walk.

Hope your full day goes well, Ana. Hope you enjoyed your gaming night also. thumbsup

It's Sunday night, and I'm off to sleep. I have to be up at 5:30 am tomorrow. crazy My crazy week is about to begin. evil

Have a great Monday, everyone. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1157645
07/23/18 04:51 AM
07/23/18 04:51 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus and everyone. Joe hope it cools down some more for you. Ana enjoy your day with the pups! Venus maybe your crazy work week won't be to hectic. Coffee and tea are ready.
summer Wishing everyone a Happy Day! summer


Gerry
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1157651
07/23/18 06:53 AM
07/23/18 06:53 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super Monday. Bingo at the Eagles at noon, and Karaoke at Kaoes tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Sausage, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1157707
07/23/18 04:43 PM
07/23/18 04:43 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

Rough night last night. Consequently, brain is in slow motion, but I finally made it in. Ana, I'd kill for 70's. We barely get there as our low.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1157722
07/23/18 10:55 PM
07/23/18 10:55 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Nighty night...


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1157724
07/23/18 11:06 PM
07/23/18 11:06 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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