Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.

~Oscar Wilde~
`````````````


Teacher: Mira went to the library at 5:15 and left at 6:45. How long was Mira at the library?

Student: Not long.

``````

For 98 percent of the students at the school where my wife teaches, English is a second language. But that didn't stop them from giving her Christmas cards. Still, their enthusiasm for the occasion sometimes exceeded their grasp of English. Among the many cards that flooded her desk were: "Happy Birthday, Grandma," "Get Well Soon," and "Congratulations on Passing Your Driving Test!"

``````

Our local newspaper lists recipients of school awards. Beneath one photo, the caption read "This year's Perfect Attendance Awards go to Ann Stein and Bradley Jenkins. Not present for photo: Bradley Jenkins."

``````

When our students began raising donations for Child Abuse Prevention Week, the school administration did its part by setting up a collection box outside the principal's office and displaying a banner by the front door of the lobby. It read "Please give $1 to help stop child abuse in the front office."

``````

An amateur pilot wannabe, I knew I'd finally made progress with my flight training the day my instructor turned to me and said, "You know, you're not as much fun since you stopped screaming."

```````

Have you heard the one about the bad pole-vaulter? It never goes over very well.

``````

The boating store was having a big sale on canoes. It was quite the oar deal.

````

Q. Why shouldn't you marry a tennis player?

A. Because Love means nothing to them.

`````

Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

A. In case he got a hole in one.

``````

All pro athletes are 
bilingual. They speak English and profanity.

Gordie Howe, hockey player

`````


The Unathletic Camper’s Baseball Glossary


Baseball bat: a wooden or 
metal bar that can easily fly out of someone’s hands.

Foul ball: a moment when you think, Holy @#$%, I got a hit!

Babe Ruth: someone who people tell you was also overweight.

Right field: a quiet place where you can sit for long stretches and play with dandelions. Until suddenly you hear a clang and some shouting and immediately understand life is about to get much harder.

Fly ball: when the sun drops 
a boulder on your head.

Shortstop: a position that 
involves mostly ground balls 
and that you think maybe you can play.

Line drive: the reason you can’t play shortstop.

Innings: the amount of time 
left before afternoon snack, 
divided by nine.

`````````

A first-grade teacher can’t 
believe her student isn’t hepped up about the Super Bowl. “It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?”

“Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the student.

“Well, that’s a lousy reason,” says the teacher. “What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?”

“Then I’d be a football fan.”

``````

After football fans in Philadelphia were treated to a particularly excruciating loss earlier in the season, a man phoned a sports-radio talk-show host to say, “Everyone should call in and give one word for that game.”

“What’s your word?” the host 
replied.

“Bored out of my mind,” said the caller.

``````

Good morning everyboomie.


It's Friday!


One more day to claw my way through to get to that badly needed weekend rest and recoup.


Let's see, what energy draining task do I have to perform for Friday?


I have to take Missy walking at the park. SO draining.


I HAVE to go to Walmart for grocery shopping. Really saps all of my strength.


I think that's about it...OH YEAH I have to drive home, carry all the groceries in, and put them up.


It's gonna be a long long day.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Have a great weekend everyone.

Joe, is Bella gone again? Have a happy day!

SpaceQ, so good to see you posting again! I miss you! How are things?

Today I will finish early and go kayaking to do a stream clean up.

Have a great day!

Ana

Have fun with Missy in the park, Joe.

Hi, Space Quest. Great to see you here!

Have fun kayaking, Ana.

Starcom, that just means I had to go to 4 stores that day to do projects. My company sends me all over the place to do random projects in different stores. The somewhat frustrating thing is that customers have a tendency to think I work for the stores and ask me all kinds of questions I don't have the answers to.

It's Thursday night, and I'm off to sleep. I have 4 stores to go to again tomorrow, but at least tomorrow's Friday.

Have a terrific Friday, everyone.

Thanks for the explanation Venus, you should wear a tag reading: I Do Not Work Here, I hope your Friday goes well.
And have a good Friday to all may it go smoothly so you can enjoy the weekend.

Good Morning Joe, Space Quest, Ana, venus, Starcom and everyone. Joe when the weather is as hot as yours every task is energy draining! Space welcome back to Joe's Diner. Hope all is well with you. Ana have fun kayaking. Starcom what are your plans for today? Whatever they are enjoy your day! Coffee and tea are ready.
Wishing everyone a Happy Day!

Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful TGIF. No plans for today, maybe some yard work. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Sausage, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC.

Off to the bank and shopping! Hooray, I get to buy stuff.

Tenants who are leaving on the 23rd have had a steady stream of friends/relatives coming over to pick up furniture and other items. Last night the couch went, along with 3 glass coffee tables, and the 6 piece kitchen table set and a few other totes of other goodies.

The mom brought up a nice 3 tiered metal plant stand for me. She and I were always sharing plants. I already have it filled with shade type plants. Nice of her to think of me. I joked that they wouldn't have anything left to sit on after all the furniture left. She said they will just sit on the floor or futons, etc. But the only table I noticed down there was a small folding card table. I guess that will have to do for eating, etc. By the time the 23rd rolls around, there will be nothing left in the house so it seems. Really going to miss the 30 years we lived next to each other. The end of an era (or two or three).

Fantastic Friday ya'll

Woke up to a message from son that his MIL was going to stop by "anytime now" to use the shower and grab a cup of coffee. Nothing like strangers coming to the house to get me moving. I had planned to clean today anyway, but thought I'd get a cuppa first.

Anyway, cleaning done and entertaining done. Now waiting on hubby to make the final leg of his drive home. Daughter is also on the road to Ohio, so lots of moving parts to our family today.

Sorta, do you have a prospective tenant for the unit that will be empty soon?

Hi L4L, nope no tenant yet but a few leads. Maybe my bachelor guy next door and his cousin who live across town. I'm trying to convince them to move in together and their rent will be about 100 less than in the separate one bedroom apartments they have now. Plus private parking (now they have to pay to park) and the house has a washer (they have to go to a laundry now). Might work if they can get along with each other. Time will tell. In the meantime, I'm putting out 'feelers' to all my good friends to be on the lookout for older, quiet, nice people who need a nice place to live. If not, I'll just have to list it for rent and have an open house for all prospects to fill out applications and meet a lot of people. Ugh. Not what I want to do, but might have to if I want to find the right person/people. All of us here are older, quiet, nice people. Don't want to annoy the neighbors or myself with some horrible trouble makers. Ya never know.

Good luck...

Good night, everyone.

I hope you all had a good Friday and to answer your question Kaki's Sister, I was busy tearing apart the floor in my Gazebo, it is 30 years old and the floor was rotten, so needless to say, not a job for an old geezer and my back is now in major pain mode, do you offer Pain killers with the coffee?.
Take care