First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
~George Burns~
``````````````
Q: What goes up when the rain comes down?
A: An Umbrella.
Yeah right, if you're lucky enough to have one.``````
Q: What does it do before it rains candy?
A: It sprinkles!
It sprinkles? You've never been in an Oklahoma hail storm. Close your eyes, tilt your head back, and open your mouth. I'll show you sprinkles. 
`````
Q: Why did the man use ketchup in the rain?
A: Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
HOT DOGS?? What kind of stupid imagination did your mama give you?Besides, I use mustard on my hot dogs.```````
Q: What did one raindrop say to the other?
A: Two's company, three's a cloud
Three's a cloud? More like a puff of smoke I say. ```````
Q: What's the difference between a horse and the weather?
A: One is reined up and the other rains down.
What have you been smoking? I think somebody needs to rein in your imagination. ```````
Q: When does it rain money?
A: When there is "change" in the weather.
Yeah? Catch a few rain drops and try to deposit it. Idiot!!``````
Q: What happens when fog lifts in California?
A: UCLA!
You mean when the smog lifts?``````
Q: Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
A: Because she expected some change in the weather.
Here we go again. Dopy people````````
Q: What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer?
A: You make my temperature rise.
Mercury! You make my mercury rise. ```````
Q: Whatever happened to the cow that was lifted into the air by the tornado?
A: It was udderly disasterous!
Yeah, I bet that cow only gave cottage cheese after that.```````
Q: What did the lightning bolt say to the other lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
Yeah and you're revolting!``````
Q: What type of cloud is so lazy, because it will never get up?
A: Fog!
Fog always makes me want to lay down and take a nap anyway.```````
Q: What type of lightning likes to play sports?
A: Ball lightning!
So you don't want to be around when it strikes out?`````
Q: What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
A: Thunderwear!
Yeah well that's shocking.``````
Q: How do hurricanes see?
A: With one eye!
Unless they're too far out at 'sea'.``````
Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?
A: In a snow bank.
So, it's cold hard cash?```````
Red sky at night, shepherd’s
delight. Blue sky at night......day.
Blue sky at night...day............DUH!``````
We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids. It’s SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out.
Could you squeeze me a new jacket?``````
Good morning ever-e boomee.
Tuesday's here.
That means it's not Monday anymore.
I'm excited because starting Wednesday, or Wee Ned's Day as I call it, we have 80% rain chance, and 50% Thur and Fri.
Joy to the world! We're dipping below 90 degrees again.
Pretty good for August.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
This does mean I have 5 stores to go to tomorrow, but I'll deal with that to get the extra day off. 
Very funny - you always brighten our days/night up.....hope you get the needed rain. 
, Venus 
and Starcom 
may your day/night be great and happy gaming too you all.
have a nice both off you. 
