You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
~Mark Twain~
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Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear.
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Mother superior tells two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. One nun suggests to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door." So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?" "Blind man!" The nuns look at each other and one nun says, "He's blind, so he can't see. What could it hurt?" They let him in. The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice [blip]. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
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Why is it that your nose runs, but your feet smell?
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Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into."
Now wipe that smile off your face.
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Q: What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
A: You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.
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Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.
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If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.
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Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A: "You're too young to smoke."
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Three ladies were on a bus stop bench. One of the ladies looks at the other and asks her if she is Native American, She says, "Yes, I'm Arapaho." "Is that so?" says the first, "It just happens that I'm a Navajo." The third lady looks at both of them and says, "I'm a Kansas hoe."
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Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
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A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."
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A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled over and asked the truck driver if he needed any help. The truck driver replied, "If you can take these penguins to the zoo while I wait for AAA that will be great!" The man agreed and the penguins hopped into the back of his car. Two hours later, the trucker was back on the road again and decided to check on the penguins. He showed up at the zoo and they weren't there! He headed back into his truck and started driving around the town, looking for any sign of the penguins, the man, or his car. While driving past a movie theater, the truck driver spotted the guy walking out with the ten penguins. The truck driver yelled, "What are you doing? You were supposed to take them to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did and then I had some extra money so I took them to go see a movie."
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A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather's farm. The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister. He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken. The girl was frightened, and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream. He ran inside immediately. She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chowing down on a plate of fried chicken. "What is it?" he asked. The sister turned to him in fear and said," It- it's- IT'S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!!!"
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Good morning everyboomie.
Well lookie here. We've made it to the top of the hump. It's all down hill from here.
I had another great day with much cooler morning temperatures. I don't remember getting much accomplished , but who the heck cares?
Oh yeah. I did dig up a rose bush that was planted in the worst possible spot, outside the fence.
It was in my way when I mowed, and I didn't like having to turn sharp and mow around it, so I cut it down.
Missy is happy tonight because her brother Beau is here to visit a couple of days.
Speaking of that, it's about time for another dog walk.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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witter
Joe...all downhill to the weekend, so happy Beau gets to visit for awhile too!
Venus, wrangling three day weekends is fantastic...hope the stores are quick and painless today
All of the projects themselves should run smoothly if all goes the way I think it will. 
A Happy Day wished for everyone! 
Thinking Halloween
