I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.
~Flannery O'Connor~
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Q. What did the pop star do when he locked himself out?
A. He sang until he found the right key!
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A hillbilly family's only son saves up money to go to college. After about three years, he comes back home. They are sitting around the dinner table, when the dad says, ''Well son, you done gone to college, so you must be perty smart. Why don't you speak some math fer' us?'' ''Ok, Pa.'' The son then says, ''Pi R squared.'' After a moment, the dad says, ''Why son, they ain't teached ya nothin'! Pie are round, cornbread are square.''
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Q: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
A: "It's pasture bedtime."
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Q: What did the beaver say to the tree?
A: "It's been nice gnawing you!"
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Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: Its OK. He woke up.
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Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other man will do. The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!" The other man says, "Go home, dad. You’re drunk."
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Traveling through the country, an old couple drives into a gas station. The attendant asks the old man, "Where you folks from? I know everybody in this town." The old man says, "We're from Nebraska." Hard of hearing, the old lady nudges her husband, "What did he say, papa?" The old man answers her, "He asked us where we are from." "Oh," replies the old woman. The old man tells the attendant to fill up the tank and check the tires. When that's all done, the attendant tells the old man, "You know, the worst sex I ever had was with a girl from Nebraska." The old lady nudges her husband once more and asks, "What did he say, papa?" The husband replies, "He thinks he knows you, mama."
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Q: What do you call the child of parents from Iceland and Cuba?
A: An ice cube.
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A kid asks his dad, "What's a man?" The dad says, "A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family." The kid says, "I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!"
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A married couple, Harry and Esther, are out shopping one morning when Esther says, "Darling, it's my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She said she would like something electric." Harry replies, "How about a chair?"
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A boy was going through his grandmother's wallet one night and found her ID card. "Grandma?" he asked,"How much do you weigh?" His grandmother replied, "That's not an appropriate question, Jimmy" He then asked, "How old are you?" She again replied, "That's not appropriate, Jimmy." Finally he asked, "Grandma, why did grandpa leave you?" Before she had time to answer, Jimmy looked at the card and said, "Oh I see, it's because you got an 'F' in sex."
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Little Johnny's new baby brother is screaming up a storm. He asks his mom, "Where'd we get him?" His mother replies, "He came from Heaven, Johnny." Johnny says, "Wow! I can see why they threw him out!"
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Q. What's an astronaut's favorite social media website?
A. MySpace
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MySpace....
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Good morning everyboomie.
Your Sunday morning has arrived. Sunshine lollipops and rainbows....
Emphasis on 'sunshine'.
It's 6:00 and 97 degrees in my red neck of the woods.
Missy will have to wait a couple more hours before our next walk. Sheesh!
I wish you all a Happy Christmas, and may it get here fast.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Well whatever enjoy it Joe! 
I'll get the coffee and tea ready for all those who follow! 
Happy Sunday everyone! 
Have a great day 
sorry to hear your teams lost Family