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Super Saturdiner #1161799
08/31/18 06:51 PM
08/31/18 06:51 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Don't try to be someone that society wants you to be; that's stupid. So be yourself.

~Christina Grimmie~
```````````````````


A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

```````

So two Irishmen are traveling to Australia. Before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice: "You watch them Aussie cab drivers. They'll rob you blind. Don't you go paying them what they ask. You haggle." At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel. When they reach their destination, the cabbie says, "That'll be twenty dollars, lads." "Oh no you don't! My dad warned me about you. You'll only be getting fifteen dollars from me," says one of the men. "And you'll only be getting fifteen from me too," adds the other.

``````

Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.

```````

China, Russia, and Poland venture to space. China says they'll go to Pluto because it's the farthest. Russia says they'll go to Jupiter because it's the biggest. Poland says they'll go to the Sun. Russia and China warn that they'll melt. They reply, "We'll go at night."

````````

A Jewish businessman in America decided to send his son to Israel to absorb some of the culture of the homeland. When the son returned, the father asked him to tell him about his trip.
The son said, "Pop, I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I converted to Christianity." "Oy vey," said the father. "What have I done?"
He decided to go ask his friend Jacob what to do. Jacob said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel, and he also came back a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi and ask him what we should do."
So they went to see the Rabbi. The Rabbi said, "Funny you should ask.I too sent my son to Israel. He also came back a Christian. What is happening to our young people? Perhaps we should go talk to God and ask him what to do."
The three of them prayed and explained what had happened to their sons and asked God what to do. Suddenly a voice came loud and clear from Heaven. The Voice said, "funny you should ask, I too sent my son to Isreal..."

```````

Does anyone remember the Swatch, a watch made in Switzerland? Thank god Croatia didn't come up with the idea first. Just imagine if someone were to ask you what time is it? "Oh pardon me while I look at my crotch."

``````

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Australia?
A: God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

`````

A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so, and although his English was far from perfect, the couple got on very well. One day, though, he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked if he could arrange a divorce for him, "Very quick!" The lawyer explained that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked these questions:
LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: "An acre and half, and a nice 3 bedroom house."
LAWYER: "No, I mean what is the foundation of the case?"
POLE: "It is made of concrete, bricks & mortar."
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No, we have a carport and don’t need a grudge."
LAWYER: "I mean, what are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations live in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Yes, we have hi-fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound."
LAWYER: "No, I mean does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I’m always up before her."
LAWYER: "Why do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me!"
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof."
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy bottle at drug store and I read label. It say Polish Remover."

````````

Two Irishmen friends are drinking together at one of their homes. One friend takes out a bottle of Irish whiskey and asks the other, "Will you pour this bottle out on my grave if I die first?" His friend replies, "Do you mind if I pass it through my kidneys first?"

```````

A Polish man, a German guy, and an American dude, climb a mountain because they each want to make a wish from the genie on the top. When they make it to the top, they find the lamp and all rub it. The genie appears and says, "For your wish to be granted, you must yell it out while you are jumping off of this mountain." So the German jumps off and yells, "I wish to be a fighter plane!" "So be it," the genie says, and the German becomes a plane. The American jumps off and yells, "I wish to be an eagle!" "So be it," the genie says, and the American becomes an eagle and flies away. The Polish man runs to the edge, accidentally trips on a rock, and yells, "I wish to b- oh S**t!"

````````

An American, a Vietnamese, a Mexican, a Brazilian, a Canadian, a German, a Turk, and a Russian walk into a fancy restaurant. When they got to the front desk, they were kicked out because they did not have a Thai.

```````

An Indian cab driver picked up a Japanese man from a hotel. Along the way, they saw a Honda motorcycle overtake the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Motorcycle very fast, made in Japan." Then a Toyota car overtook the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Car very fast, made in Japan." When they reached the destination the fare was 1500 rupees. The Japanese man thought the ride was would only cost 500 rupees. He asked the driver why the ride was so expensive. The driver said, "Meter very fast, made in India."

```````

In class, Jose is asked to use the word "Cherokee" in a sentence. He pauses and says, "I lost my house key and now I have to Cherokee with my sister."

`````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Welcome to the weekend all you silver-haired Geritol lovers. redchicken


I think I could drink a few bottles of the tonic right now myself. I'm so darned hungry. taz


I dreamed about eating fish sticks last night, and woke up missing two fingers. scared


The saddest part of is that I really do have fish sticks in my freezer. rolleyes


If only I had sleep walked I might have saved my fingers. razz


Have a happy day everyone. Hopefully not a hungry one. wink


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 08/31/18 06:52 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Super Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1161817
08/31/18 10:43 PM
08/31/18 10:43 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,402
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,402
marietta,georgia
listein to big fish to download marrlwarebytes and cclearners, my action center went off like the robot from lost in space, and had a hard time restarting came up with auto something repair, going what is restart like mel and the bank from alice, glad to be on.

Re: Super Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1161823
09/01/18 12:14 AM
09/01/18 12:14 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
lol Joe! Wear gloves to sleep! rotfl

family, glitches may be able to help you out. luck

Have a happy day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Super Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1161840
09/01/18 05:11 AM
09/01/18 05:11 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Online happy
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Online Happy
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, family, Ana and all Joe. Joe I'm not silver haired yet! grin Just fading color! Family hope you get your computer problem resolved. Ana are you going to be able to take it easy this weekend? Coffee and tea are ready.
car Enjoy your Saturday everyone! car


Gerry
Re: Super Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1161842
09/01/18 05:38 AM
09/01/18 05:38 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a great Saturday Joe, family, Ana, Gerry and all who follow. wave

It appears I fell asleep with the light on again. slapforehead Time to get a little more sleep, and then it's going to be a gaming day. happydance

Have a great Saturday, everyone. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Super Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1161851
09/01/18 07:53 AM
09/01/18 07:53 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great Saturday. A bit of shopping today. Dinner, Karaoke, and maybe some dancing at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Sausage, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. zombie ghost witch


Connie
Re: Super Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1161852
09/01/18 08:22 AM
09/01/18 08:22 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Oh my yes the weekend is here

It's good to wake up from a dream like that Joe yes

Technology is great when it's working Family

Have a great weekend Ana and Gerry

What time did you think it was when you woke up Venus?

Have a good time dancing tonight Connie

Happy Saturday everyone wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Super Saturdiner [Re: soot] #1161880
09/01/18 11:41 AM
09/01/18 11:41 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great long weekend everyone. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Super Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1161933
09/02/18 01:24 AM
09/02/18 01:24 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Soot, I probably thought it was around 3, but I'm not sure. lol

Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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