My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.
~Maya Angelou~
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."
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A man is drinking in a bar when he notices a beautiful young lady. "Hello there and what is your name?" "Hello," giggles the woman, "I'm Stacey. What's yours?" "I'm Jim." "Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight?" “Sure!" replies Jim. "Let's go!" At Stacey’s house, Jim notices a picture of a man on Stacey's desk and asks, "Is this your brother?" "No, it isn't, Jim!" Stacey giggles. "Is it your husband?" Stacey giggles even more, "No, silly!" "Then, it must be your boyfriend!" Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim's ear. She says, "No, silly!" "Then, who is it?" Stacey replies, "That's me before my operation!"
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Q: When can women make you a millionaire?
A: When you're a billionaire.
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An investigative journalist went to Afghanistan to study the culture and was shocked to discover that women were made to walk ten paces behind the men. She asked her guide why and he said, "Because they are considered of lesser status." Outraged the journalist went home. A year later she returned covering violence in the region and was surprised to see the women walking ten paces ahead. She turned to her guide and this time asked, "What has changed?" The guide answered, "Land mines."
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A man driving a car hits a woman. Whose fault is it?
The man's. Why was he driving in the kitchen?
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How many men does it take to open a beer? None.
It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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Officer: "Madam, swimming is prohibited in this lake."
Lady: "Why didn't you tell me when I was removing my clothes?"
Officer: "Well, that's not prohibited."
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One day three women went for a job interview. The man interviewing them posed all three the same question. What would you do if you found an extra €50 in on your paycheck that you shouldn’t have received? The first one said, “I’d give it back as it wasn’t mine and I wasn’t entitled to it.” When he asked the second one she replied, “I’d give it to Charity.” When he asked the third one, she was more honest and she said, “I’d keep it for myself and go out for a drink.” Which one of the three women got the job? The one with the biggest boobs!
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Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!
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Three women were trapped on an island. They needed to get across the water to the mainland. They came across a genie who said, "I will grant you ladies three wishes." The first woman said, "Turn me into a fish" and she swam across the water to the other island. The second woman said, "Give me a boat" and she rowed to the other side. The third woman said, "Turn me into a man" and she walked across the bridge.
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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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Jane: "Where are all the kind, considerate, loving men who can show their feelings?"
Jill: "They already have boyfriends."
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What happens when you give a politician Viagra? He gets taller.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Bummer!! L4L both of my teams lost yesterday, but what rubs salt in my wounds is who beat your Falcons. It's going to be a long season for the Cowboys if the don't up their play.
On the bright side, I went to the sod farm yesterday, and I walked around for a couple of hours. They have had some rain since last week, but not near as much as we got here. It was pretty dry. Still I finally found one nice point.
I was leaving, and I stopped to check out the valley where all the water runs off, to see if anything was washed up down in that area, but no luck. I was about to leave when the owner of the property drove over to talk to me. He asked if I was finding anything, and then he asked me if I had looked on the other side of the property where he had plowed it up. What??
I didn't think there would be much to find on that side of the sod farm. He told me that he has found points on that side, so I drove over there and got out and walked around this huge area of exposed ground that has had irrigation on it, and I found another point.
Now I'm praying for some more good rain real soon before that area is covered in sod.
I was thrilled to come back with two nice points at any rate.
Have a super day everyone.
joe
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I have to be up for a reset at 5 am tomorrow, so it's time to rush to bed. 
