All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
~Winston Churchill~
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I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
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Did you hear about the italian chef that died? He pasta way.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up? Because it was two tired!
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Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
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My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
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Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.
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When a deaf person sees someone yawn do they think it’s a scream?
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As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
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How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the physco path.
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And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life". John came fifth and won a toaster.
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What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look! I’m about to change.
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I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do *not* read it!
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What did one hat say to the other? You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
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Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.
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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
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Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.
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If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
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I am not lazy, I am on energy saving mode.
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Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.
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A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
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Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.
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I'm not shy, I'm holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you.
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Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said.
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I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.
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Your life can't fall apart if you never had it together!
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People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
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Good morning everyboomie.
It's here, it's here! Welcome to the weekend!!
Not much going on around here. Just walking the pouch, and doing some house cleaning, and some exercising.
Mostly boring stuff really.
I hope your weekend is not too boring though.
Have a happy day everyone.
rah rah!
joe
acebook
witter
Ana finally you get to sleep in! 
Nice! 
Coffee and tea are ready.
