Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.
~Benjamin Franklin~
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I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
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Alcohol! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.
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I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
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Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
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If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer...
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A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
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A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
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Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.
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If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?
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Don’t drink while driving – you might spill the beer.
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I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
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I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
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Alcohol doesn't solve any problem, but neither does milk.
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My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry...
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Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
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I'm not clumsy, The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies and the walls get in my way.
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Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.
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The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.
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I'm jealous of my parents, I'll never have a kid as cool as them.
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I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed.
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Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
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You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
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The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.
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A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to.......today!
Since it's not predicted to rain above 20% today, I may run out to the sod farm.
I know it will be muddy, but only a high of 81 degrees, whereas Tuesday is supposed to be 87 degrees with the same 20% rain chance.
Today was very cool and cloudy and misty all day, but no rain. A perfect day for being a slouch.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
