“Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go ‘you know, I’m not as hungry as thought I was’?”
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~Tim Vinel~
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Hilarious Shower Thoughts A stick is just a stick when you’ve unstuck it from a tree.
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Feet smell and noses run.
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If you live in the US, the driveway to your house is one way or other connected to everyone else’s driveway.
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Is the dog fetching the stick for you just because he thinks you love throwing it?
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If I touch my phone in the right places, someone comes and brings me a pizza.
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Legs are like arms to your butt.
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We all have puke in our stomachs.
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What if your dog realized you contain loads of bones?
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You know that moment when you’re in the shower and it suddenly hits you, oh no, if something terrible were to happen right now, I’d have to run outside naked.
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From the viewpoint of chairs, humans are mainly butts.
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The first parents ever to have identical twins must have been really confused.
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The Titanic’s sinking was a true miracle to the lobsters in the kitchens.
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Youngest person alive – that must be a world record that gets broken the most often.
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If every person on Earth blinked at the same time, nobody would ever find out.
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Nutella’s greatest achievement was successfully convincing people that chocolate is a good idea for breakfast as long as you put it on bread.
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If I think and dream in my voice, could it mean that my dog thinks in his own barks?
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I wonder on how many animals’ backs did we humans have to jump until we found that horses are OK with it.
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Anything in America is within walking distance – it only depends on how much time you have.
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When you clap, you hit yourself repeatedly because you like it.
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I’d love to know how the phrase “when the sh** hits the fan” came into being – with dates, names and pictures.
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Good morning everyboomie.
It's FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! I really hope it's as nice as Thursday was. I mean really. I couldn't have asked for a nicer day.
Actually it's about frigging time. I've been asking for a day like that for six months.
I walked around the sod farm for 5 hours, and didn't find a single whole point. All I found was pieces.
Cry me a river.
Maybe a river will wash up what the rain didn't.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe