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Happy Thump Day #1167110
10/24/18 07:30 PM
10/24/18 07:30 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.
-
~Bob Thaves~
````````````


Best Redneck Jokes | Part 5
``````````````````````````````


Yeah, it’s all fun about the rednecks – until the zombie apocalypse. Then you need them.

WRONG!! Zombies are only interested in brains.

````

Q: How did the redneck die from drinking milk? A: The cow lay down.

````

Redneck: I like to eat my tacos over a tortilla. When stuff falls out, BOOM, I have a burrito.

````

How many rednecks does it take eat a possum? Two. One to eat, the other one to watch out for cars.

````

Q: What does a bottle of beer and a redneck have in common?

A: Nothing in there from the neck up.

````

Q: What do you have when you get 28 rednecks in one trailer?

A: A complete set of teeth.

````

Want to get a redneck in a fit of rage?

Say you’ve lost all his meth.

````

Redneck’s famous last words?

“You hold mah beer and watch this!”

````

Q: Why are redneck murders the toughest to crack?

A: Highly matching DNA in all suspects and no dental records.

````

Top 100 Fun Facts



Best first: 'Butt' is actually a British measuring unit equivalent to 125 US gallons or 105 imperial gallons.

2.
The struggle is real for the ferret – if a female ferret in heat doesn’t find a mate, she can die.

3.
A sloth takes 2 weeks to digest the food he’s eaten.

4.
In the USA, there are more Chinese restaurants than all the McDonald’s, KFCs, Burger Kings and Wendy’s put together.

5.
If you kept yelling for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would produce enough sound energy to heat up a cup of tea.

6.
There are approximately 100,000 hairs on an average human head.

7.
At any given moment, about 0.7% of the people in the world are drunk.

8.
In 2001, a seven foot bull shark bit off a boy’s arm. His uncle not only saved the boy, but dived in after the shark, wrestled it to shore where the shark was shot, retrieved the boy’s arm and it was sewn back on in the hospital.

9.
When you say “a million seconds”, it means 11 and a half days. “A billion seconds” would be over 31 years.

10.
There are more English speakers in China than in the United States.

11.
It takes an average person 7 minutes to fall asleep.

12.
When you talk, you spray around 2.5 microscopic saliva droplets per word.

13.
Rats cannot vomit, and neither can horses.

14.
Every year, 11,000 injuries are reported in America as a result of sexual experimentation.

15.
620 million years ago, an Earth day was only 21.9 hours long. It is extending a little every year.

16.
A 12-year-old girl from Ethiopia was kidnapped by four men on her way from school. A week later the whole group was accosted by three lions who chased the men away and stayed with the girl without harming her, only leaving when the police arrived, looking for her.

17.
A now teenage boy called Ben Underwood lost his sight to cancer when he was 3 years old. He learned to use echolocation (orientation in space by sound that e.g. bats use) in order to sense his surroundings. Today he can play table soccer, basketball, he does karate, roller blades, enjoys pillow fights and much more.

18.
Our ears and our nose never stop growing.

19.
In 1994, a man was arrested because he was dressed as the Grim Reaper and just stood and stared into the windows of a home for the elderly.

20.
Bulgarians nod when they want to say NO and shake their heads when they want to say YES.

````

Good moring everyboomie. wave2


I woke up this morning, and I could feel my toes wiggling, and then I pinched myself and I felt that too. I knew right then and there that I was still alive. WHOOPEEEEEE! yay


The only thing to put a damper on that, is that is was overcast and rainy.....AND that my back is in a pinch since yesterday, when I was getting down on the floor to do some exercises. rotfl


Ouch! No more ROFLing for a while. razz


I've been LOTC (laying on the couch} all day with two disappointed puppies. slapforehead


Well it's time they learned that life is full of disappointment. taz


In a couple of days I'll be as good as new.....as much as a 66 year kid can get. razz


I'm really looking forward to being able to get up and fix something to eat again. wink


Have a happy one everyone. thumbsup


joe







Last edited by gymcandy1; 10/24/18 07:32 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1167111
10/24/18 08:00 PM
10/24/18 08:00 PM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Taintedfury Offline
Addicted Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Good Morning Joe sherlock good laughs rotfl , take care off yourself and hug the puppies puppy keep smiling and enjoy your muffins... hamster

Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1167123
10/24/18 09:19 PM
10/24/18 09:19 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, hope you feel better tomorrow! SEnd the dogs to me, I'll be happy to walk them for you.

Taintedfury, hope your day is great!

One day closer to the weekend! Woohoo! I'm so far behind in life this week, I need about a day just to get caught up.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1167139
10/24/18 11:33 PM
10/24/18 11:33 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope you feel better soon, Joe.

Have a great day, Taintedfury.

Hope you are able to get some extra time soon, Ana.

It's Wednesday night, and I'm off to sleep. Provided the new manager doesn't spring any more "surprises" on me, tomorrow should be my Friday, which means another 3 day weekend. woot

Have a great Thursday, everyone. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1167143
10/25/18 12:56 AM
10/25/18 12:56 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,402
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,402
marietta,georgia
going to the colorectal & gastronterology tomorrow.

Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1167149
10/25/18 02:34 AM
10/25/18 02:34 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Taintedfury Offline
Addicted Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Thanks Ana and Venus hope you both have a great day summer too......Ana you definitely deserve to put your feet up and rest so good on you. dance : and Venus have a wonderful sleep sleep .. wave2

Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1167153
10/25/18 05:43 AM
10/25/18 05:43 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,108
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,108
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, Taintedfury, venus, family and everyone. Joe hope you feel better. Ana relax! Taintedfury have a Happy Day! Another 3 day weekend nice! Family Good Luck today at the doctor. Coffee and tea are ready.
chocobunny Hope everyone has a Great Day! chocobunny


Gerry
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1167161
10/25/18 07:44 AM
10/25/18 07:44 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great Thump Day. Joe, I hope your feeling better. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, and Bacon in the NC. witch blackkitty


Connie
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1167180
10/25/18 09:56 AM
10/25/18 09:56 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Taintedfury Offline
Addicted Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Thanks Kaki's Sister kitty and Connie cat hope you both a lovely day and fantastic upcoming weekend. car
wave2

Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1167229
10/25/18 07:43 PM
10/25/18 07:43 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
Hi Ho Joe, TaintedFury, Ana, Venus, Family, Gerry, Connie and the rest of the gang laugh

Whew...can't wait for the weekend to get here so I can take a breather...

Have a wonderful evening everyone

Have a great Friday TaintedFury

wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1167238
10/25/18 08:19 PM
10/25/18 08:19 PM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
Taintedfury Offline
Addicted Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,169
RURAL - SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELB...
G'Day Soot thanks hope you have a great Friday too. wave2

Last edited by Taintedfury; 10/25/18 08:20 PM.
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1167249
10/25/18 11:47 PM
10/25/18 11:47 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1167250
10/25/18 11:48 PM
10/25/18 11:48 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
NIghty night...


Don't feed the Trolls
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