The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
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~Mark Russell~
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A husband asks his wife:
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If I died, would you marry again?
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Oh darling, of course I wouldn’t. I’d go and live with my sister. And if I died, would you remarry?
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No, I think I’d go and live with your sister too.
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A fortune teller asks a woman: “So, you came to learn your husband’s future?”
“No way, tell me about his past, then I’ll decide about his future!!”
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If it's true that girls will probably marry men who resemble their fathers, it would explain why so many mothers cry at weddings.
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Good news: Your wife is pregnant, yay!
Bad news: She’s expecting triplets.
Terrible news: You’ve had vasectomy…
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Good news: Your wife won’t talk to you.
Bad news: She wants a divorce.
Terrible news: She’s a lawyer…
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A woman visits a well-known witch. She asks the witch if she has something to help her break a curse that was cast against her about 8 years ago. The witch asks, “What sort of a curse was it, then?” The woman said, “It went, ‘I now pronounce you man and wife’.
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”If you and I were on a sinking ship, and there was but one life vest... I cannot express how much I would miss you.
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Wife calls her mother: "Today I fought so much with my husband. I am coming to live with you again. - Mother: No. He should pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you.
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Husband: “Soon we will be married for 10 years. I will get you a nice new car for our anniversary.”
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Wife: “Oh darling. Nothing would please me more!”
And so the husband got her nothing for the anniversary.
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My wife and I have been married for 43 years and we've never even thought about a divorce. Murder, yes. But divorce, no.
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(In National Geographic narrator voice) Even though at first sight, they may seem cuddly, friendly and sweet, one must not forget that women are still dangerous predators.
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I shouted at my wife while she was in labor: "Push honey! Come on and push! You have to push harder!"
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She said: “Stop talking to me you cretin!”
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I mean what did she expect? It's an old car and if she wants to get to the hospital I have to jump start it...
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My wife packed up my bags and told me to get the hell out and never come back.
As I was walking to my car, she yelled at me from the door,
"I hope you die a slow and horrible death, you moron!"
"Wow," I said, "so you want me back now?"
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When did you get to know your wife?
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Sadly, about a week after the wedding.
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My wife said she’d leave me unless I stop playing constantly with the walkie-talkie.........over.
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My wife came to me all happy, saying, “Look darling, you got me this 40 years ago on our honeymoon, and it still fits!”
It was a scarf. At least her head hasn't gotten any bigger.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Hump Day already?
That's good news here as we get a little bit warmer every day through Friday. Friday and Saturday will be in the mid 60s......just right!!
Ana I really don't envy your temperatures.
I'm a GoldiLocks type. I like it not too warm, not too cold.
Speaking of the cold I went to Walmart today and bought Missy a 'wardrobe'.
Of course I really don't understand women's sizes and they were all too small.
Typical guy dreaming about his ideal woman.
Hey. Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
My Friday grew into another very long day. Next week is very light so I will get to rest up! 
Hope you have a great Wednesday.
Soot your tall dark roast is waiting for you! 
Coffee and tea are ready.
yes some picture's of Missy would be nice please 
,Venus 
, Kaki's Sister 
and Connie 
