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It's a Turkey of a Diner #1169898
11/21/18 08:17 PM
11/21/18 08:17 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was 65 I still had pimples.
-
~George Burns~
``````````````


Hilarious Clean Jokes | Part 5



Best first:

Without water, there’d be no life on Earth because without water, there could be no coffee.

````

Two clairvoyants meet. One says to the other: “You are fine, and how am I?

````

Two days ago, my friend Peter ran off with my wife.”

“Oh no, how long have you been friends?”

“Since two days ago.”

````

What did the toilet roll complain about?

"People just keep ripping me off!"

````

What did one wall say to the other wall?
-
We’ll meet at the corner.

````

What to do when somebody is trying to start an argument with you? Simply eat a few cookies. They taste very nice and you can’t hear anything over the crunching.

````

Doctor: “You must lose weight immediately! Do not take in more than thousand calories per day!”

Patient: “Before or after meals?”

````

What goes through every village, over mountains, crosses rivers and deserts and yet never moves?
-
A road.

````

Teacher: "OK class, who will give me the chemical formula for water?"

Pupil: "HIJKLMNO."

Teacher: "What on earth are you on about?"

Pupil: "Well you said yourself yesterday it was H to O!"

````

What a difference a good shower makes!

I was irritable, exhausted and I felt like hell.

Now I’m irritable, exhausted, I feel like hell and I smell of grapefruit!

````

“What's the name of your new dog?”

“I don’t know. He won’t tell me.”

````

Daddy reads some bedtime stories to make little Jonny fall asleep.

Half an hour later mommy opens quietly the door and asks: “And, is he asleep?”

Little Jonny answers: “Yes, finally.”

````

An employee complains to his boss, “Sorry boss, but the salary doesn’t even remotely match the effort I put into my work.”

Boss nods, “I know, but we can’t let you starve to death.”

````

What should you do when you see a spaceman?

You just park in it, man.

````

Happy Thanksgiving Everyboomie!! thanksgiving


I'm looking forward to a great day of relaxing, and watching some football. penguin


So another normal day. snicker


I'm also looking forward to a great turkey dinner. turkey


I sure hope Missy can cook one. razz


I really hope everyone has a blessed day with your family, & if you are traveling, travel safely. yes


Have a happy day everyone. thanksgiving


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 11/21/18 08:18 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: It's a Turkey of a Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1169902
11/21/18 09:32 PM
11/21/18 09:32 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow spending it with your loved ones. Be safe and stay warm. We're going into the deep freeze. shiver thanksgiving turkey cornucopia


Just do it.
Re: It's a Turkey of a Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1169909
11/21/18 11:31 PM
11/21/18 11:31 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Just a normal day for me too, Joe. I work this evening and will clean house and run the dogs. Plus a couple errands. Hubby will be joining you on the football watching.

Midgie, how you been? I hope all is well. Will you be going by your sons today?

Happy THanksgiving everyone!

Ana turkey


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: It's a Turkey of a Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1169912
11/22/18 01:31 AM
11/22/18 01:31 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Enjoy your day of relaxing and football, Joe. If Missy can cook a turkey, that will be very impressive. lol

Have a terrific Thanksgiving, Midge. Hope you stay warm! shiver

Hope work goes well, Ana. Are you going to have a dinner another day?

Soot, I took your advice and will be going to work on Friday. grin Hope you and L4L had a great dinner!

It's Wednesday night here. No real plans tomorrow. Thorsgoats (and Jupiter and Saga grin) and I are going to have a lamb and mashed potato dinner.

thanksgiving everyone! turkey

Last edited by venus; 11/22/18 01:32 AM.

Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: It's a Turkey of a Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1169923
11/22/18 06:48 AM
11/22/18 06:48 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Thanksgiving Morning Joe, Midge, Ana, venus and everyone. Joe nice you have Missy for the day and football to watch too! Enjoy! Midge were are having the same bitter cold today! We are staying home, having Thanksgiving dinner by the fire, and staying cozy warm! Hope you have a happy Thanksgiving Day! Ana tomorrow is your celebration day so enjoy it tomorrow! Venus your dinner sounds delicious! My mom loved lamb! Coffee and tea are ready.

turkey cornucopia Wishing everyone a Wonderful Day and, those celebrating, A Happy Thanksgiving! cornucopia turkey


Gerry
Re: It's a Turkey of a Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1169932
11/22/18 10:51 AM
11/22/18 10:51 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Venus, enjoy your dinner and happy Thanksgiving to Thorsgoat! I work till 3 tomorrow so my family and others will arrive after that. I will have a very full house!

Gerry, dinner by the fire sounds lovely! Enjoy!

I assume every one else is busy cooking! lol


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: It's a Turkey of a Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1169938
11/22/18 11:37 AM
11/22/18 11:37 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Happy Thanksgiving Ya'll puppy turkey


We are relaxing today..sitting, sipping, surfing, and eating left overs!

Wanted to go to the movie, but the boys have to leave too early for that I think.

It's a beautiful day in AL...come on down wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: It's a Turkey of a Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1169942
11/22/18 11:57 AM
11/22/18 11:57 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Happy Turkey Day to all! I am sitting home all day watching movies on DVD that I haven't had time for. There will be no lovely meal for me since I had a tooth pulled yesterday and am on liquids and soft stuff for a few days. Darn! Is there any way to put an entire Turkey Day meal into a blender and sip it through a straw? My 'new' Tenant said she was cooking for her family and was going to prepare a plate for me. Sigh. I had to say thanks but I can't. Darn Darn. She's probably an awesome cook, dunno yet as we are just getting to know each other. Probably will make home made tamales too. I wish I could EAT.

Everyone enjoy the day, I'll just have to wait till next week and declare that my Thanksgiving. idea


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: It's a Turkey of a Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1169946
11/22/18 12:22 PM
11/22/18 12:22 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
woot Joe...relaxation, football and Missy cooking turkey dinner sounds like Nervana to me laugh

Stay warm in the DeepFreeze Midge...look forward to seeing you on the other side

Ana, hope you day goes quickly for you

Venus...we had a great dinner and hope you guys do too yes

Gerry, thank you so much for the coffee...have a great day

What a wonderful day SortaB...except for the tooth thingy...next week works for me too yes

Leftovers joy

Have a blessed and wonderful Turkey day everyone wave2

thanksgiving

turkey


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: It's a Turkey of a Diner [Re: soot] #1169948
11/22/18 12:28 PM
11/22/18 12:28 PM
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,919
Hogwarts
Trail_Mystic Offline
Dragon Breath - Darkside Moderator
Trail_Mystic  Offline
Dragon Breath - Darkside Moderator
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,919
Hogwarts
Happy Turkey Day everyone! cornucopia

Hope the holiday is safe and fun for all.


TM wave


I feel a lot more like I do now, then when I first got here

Re: It's a Turkey of a Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1169980
11/22/18 08:02 PM
11/22/18 08:02 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
Happy Turkey Day. I had a house full, just winding down now. I'm very Blessed. turkey thanksgiving cornucopia


Connie
Re: It's a Turkey of a Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1169986
11/22/18 09:22 PM
11/22/18 09:22 PM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,753
Orleans, Ontario, CANADA
OrleansBelle Offline
BAAG Specialist
OrleansBelle  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,753
Orleans, Ontario, CANADA
Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends


Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
Re: It's a Turkey of a Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #1169992
11/23/18 12:18 AM
11/23/18 12:18 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. cornucopia


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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